Motivation

[sophieunderscore]

I wasn't sure where to post this but I'll post it here

I've had this problem for a long time - I come up with all these brilliant things I want to do but I never seem to be able to stick it out and keep up the motivation to do it.

I've found the main area I've found problems in is losing weight.

I need to lose weight but I always lose the will to do it. I get really motivated but I can never give it up, any ideas? I think it may be because my mood is quite low and I comfort eat - but then the food I eat makes me feel worse aswel as the effect it has on my physical appeareance, i just don't know how to break the cycle.

[looking4answers]

Its funny...we have just the opposite problem..not the motivation part well its pretty much the same as yours..We were wanting to put a barn in and alpacas and horses and get a greenhouse and get the fencing reinforced...great ideas but well we said we didn't have the money now we fixed the money problem and we are still procrastinating..At first we didn't do it because the money now that problem is solved so we are waiting on ?????????? I don't know.. But we have yet to make a phone call about anything.We talk a good talk but haven't done anything.. Ok on the opposite problem of the weight..I don't know what your situtation is as far as work etc..But we started off by not going out to eat..You will find that if you have to prepare your own food..it becomes less attractive unless you love to cook and that is what keeps your mind off yourself..but we didnt want to cook.So we started sleeping later at night ..which ended up being morning,and ate a light breakfast..coffee ,banana and toast..and then eating again late in the evening with the basics ..something good but doesn't take as much effort..We didn't snack and the last thing on our minds became snacks so when we ventured out we didn't buy any and after awhile your mind doesn't think about them.As we progressed we would get really full after just an average meal but later in the evening at times we would get hungry and eat something like a hotdog wrapped in cheese..no carbs there.and easy to digest.. and thats not every night..But we don't eat ice cream anymore or sweets... and no donuts or cakes or anything..over about three months I lost over 30 pounds and the wife lost about that much .We both needed to lose and now are at a very healthy weight..We weren't trying to lose..but lost..Last year we were getting ready to go out of the country for vacation and had to eat salads for months to lose a few pounds..I hate salads now and used to love them..But anyway its just a thought..the sleeping during the daytime and not eating but two meals a day and cutting out the snacks all together and when you just have to eat a extra bit of food make sure its light and no carbs.. I guess that is how we did it but like I said we werent trying it just happened..Now I think we are actually getting underweight but maybe starting to stablelize a little.. but it was a thought .. so thought we would share it with you .

[Paddington]

oh Sophie,a kindred spirit!!Hello!!I am exactly the same,in all areas of my life,My imagination world is fab!!I am slim and toned ,my house is imaculate and life is good,SO WHY DONT I MAKE IT THAT WAY FOR REAL?????I start diets then stop them,i am not greedy but i obssess obout food all the time.Is it fattening?How much fat?how many cals?LORD I AM BORED WITH MYSELF!I have been this way for 31 years!!!!Hey any time you fancy a natter i am here,dreaming my life away!!!Love mary rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[W.I.F.T.S.]

Hi Sophie, This is indeed a toughie. I packed in smoking 2 and a half years ago. It did require quite a bit of willpower, although I found the biggest thing that helped me was coaching myself. I would say things to myself like "if i have another cigarette I'm a smoker again", "if i have a cigarette I won't enjoy it and i'll feel really disappointed in myself". If somebody lit up I would wait until they were half way down the cigarette and the impulse for me to light up would have gone.

In everyday life I can be reticent, withdrawn, lazy. I do find motivation a problem. One way in which I'm trying to coach myself out of it is to do things as soon as they occur to me. If I have homework from a course i try and do it straight away, which relieves last minute stresses, makes me feel really good and means that the work is invariably better because i've given myself loads of time to do it. If a light bulb needs changing I try to do it straight away. If i need to pay a bill I try to do it straight away....

For me, it sometimes feels like I've got a really bright and active mind weighed down by a lump of a body because I'm so tired from anxiety and depression. I try to raise my energy levels by pushing through the urge to do nothing. I try to trick myself into doing what I really want to do. I've found it hard finding the motivation to go to the gym, but i leave my shaving gear in my gym bag, which I leave in the car. That way, it occurs to me to go to the gym whenever I need a shave.

I'm sure that there are ways in which you can trick yourself into losing weight. Off the top of my head, maybe only allow yourself to listen to music when you've got your head phones on and you're jogging....put fruit next to where you keep snacks....give yourself a fitness project which is also social (join a sports team or do a sponsored walk, the distraction will mean that the actual exercise will seem less of a chore)...earn some extra cash as a dog walker....mentally or literally keep a diary of what you're eating- it wasn't until I got a really high cholesterol reading and I started to look at my diet more that I noticed that where i thought I was being good and not having chips everyday at work I was actually really bad because I was making up for it by having chips at home, so i was really having chips everyday. I might now only have them once a week.....

It's all psychological. Your conscious mind wants to lose weight, but your subconscious can't be arsed. As with most things, negativity normally wins. You do have to use quite clever tricks to byepass your mind objecting to what you want it to do...most of those things are diversion tactics- give it another reward and it won't notice the 'hardship' of going for a run. You can also use visualisations like I did with smoking.

You've just got to be tough mentally and to believe that your goals are achievable...it's no good aiming to lose 3 or 4 dress sizes in one hit. You've got to praise yourself for every pound that you lose. Set yourself achievable goals and see it as a positive, as a challenge rather than a punsihment and you'll be so much more motivated.

You know all this yourself anyway, Soph. You can get the same rush of endorphins from exercise as you can from comfort eating. At my lightest I have been 11 stone and when I quit smoking I was 15 stone. i lost a lot of that weight just by cutting out puddings after meals.

You still doing my sponsored detox? That will be a great way to distract yourself from feeling like you're missing out!!

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[ksmith]

Hi Sophie

there are theories as to why some women cannot lose weight (I think I remember reading this in Suzy Orbach's Fat Is A Feminist Issue) and they are because by remaining fat we stay safe, eg., no one will fancy you so you won't get hurt in a relationship, eg., it's a cushion against the world; body armour!! Just a theory but useful when used to reflect. By staying 'fat' people can remain on the outside where they feel the safest.

Kay x

[PanickyPolly]

I have similar problems too but mainly with work. I get ideas for projects and get all fired up and passionate about them then I lose interest and try as I might I can't concentrate for very long and my mind wanders. Just can't seem to discipline myself at all. Pitty.