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Thread: huge ptsd

  1. #1

    huge ptsd

    Hi I have colossal ptsd. Terrible flashbacks about an event in January that has resulted in my daughter divorcing me yesterday. That's a strong word but shes told me over and over again I've ruined her life and the baby has been so ill. I took the babyinto waitrose and asked for hot water for her bottle which was handed to me in a faulty flask. I put the flask, which was also in a jug, onto the buggy to push it to the table but it leaked onto the little baby's leg. I was told I'd never see the baby again. I've begged and begged for two months asking how the baby is but never a word. She told me every time I asked how much it was all myfault and "you did this. My own mother". She texted howmuch she hated me and to stay right away. She said she cried and cried because she wanted to take her place but couldn't. And now, after a skin graft, the baby has to wear pressure garments 23 hours every day on both legs for 2 years. I knew nothing of this. I wasn't allowed any news. That poor baby. I adored her. I've been called evil, insane and hated. I can never see the baby again. She told me in a text last night " I'm sorry but I've lost the last bit of us". That broke me. I only came here from right across the country to care for the new baby when my daughter resumed work. I've got no family, no friends. I'm a retired lady, so utterly distraught and all I do is keep hearing the baby's screams when the water leaked onto her, the huge red leg when I pulled her from the buggy, the ongoingscreams, paramedics, the burns unit, being told to leave the baby and go back home miles and miles away in the pouring rain with no transport. From that moment in the café my life as I knew it changed for ever. So has the baby's, so has her mothers. Sorry this is so long but I don't know how to get rid of the memories or the terrible terrible heartache.

  2. #2
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    Re: huge ptsd

    Sending you as much love as I can Sarah So sorry this had to happen to you.
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    Re: huge ptsd

    This was not your fault, it was a terrible tragic accident. Your daughter needs someone to blame and at she moment is blaming you. I hope that she will see that you were not to blame but at the moment she is just really hurting for her child.
    Have you been to the doctors? If not then I suggest you do as this has been a very traumatic experience for you and I think you need counselling to help you through it. Sending you lots of hugs

  4. #4

    Re: huge ptsd

    Quote Originally Posted by PanchoGoz View Post
    Sending you as much love as I can Sarah So sorry this had to happen to you.
    Thanks so much -- that helped you know I didn't know heartache like this existed. Someone in the mental health support field thinks it best I get right away from here and go back to the east coast to where I know people. And buy a dog maybe (for company/love). So many people keep telling me it was a freak accident and I shouldn't keep on relentlessly blaming myself. I can see where they're coming from but I never knew the baby had to go through all that pain. I hadn't a clue. I was totally ostracised and kept in the dark. I DO blame myself. One minute my little granddaughter and her nanna were in a cosy sort of heaven at a playgroup, with kiwi nibbles, clappy songs, new faces and new toys and the next all hell broke loose.

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    Re: huge ptsd

    Very sad story, Creative. Know that it was purely an accident. Time sometimes does heal all wounds. Send your daughter and grand daughter cards. Give time a chance to heal this while continue to show them that you care. Hopefully your daughter will eventually come to the realization that this was just a terrible accident. Thinking of you.
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    Re: huge ptsd

    Remember the baby will be too young to remember - by the time she's old enough to know any better this will have all gone. Don't blame yourself - Annie's right, she just needs someone to blame. Keep seeing people, keep talking to people. It all helps.
    I've noticed your daughter only seems to text you and won't speak face to face. Maybe one day you will feel the urge to call her up and then she can hear how vulnrable and upset you are and change her mind.
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    Re: huge ptsd

    Quote Originally Posted by PanchoGoz View Post
    Remember the baby will be too young to remember - by the time she's old enough to know any better this will have all gone. Don't blame yourself - Annie's right, she just needs someone to blame. Keep seeing people, keep talking to people. It all helps.
    I've noticed your daughter only seems to text you and won't speak face to face. Maybe one day you will feel the urge to call her up and then she can hear how vulnrable and upset you are and change her mind.
    Its been an on-going thing this texting each other over all the years. I know it's not the best option but that's the way we both are. The baby is my daughter's universe, whole world. She went to pieces when she lost her first one early on. Almost had a complete breakdown. Then she got pregnant again and has adored that baby from the moment it was just microscopic. Her life is only for the baby's happiness. That's her priority. I know it was normal to hate me initially, but the tears she's cried for her baby have scared her feelings for me so so deeply. We didn't have a brilliant relationship before, but it all went so good with the arrival of the little one who has to wear these leg pressure garments 23 hours a day!!! I knew not a thing about any of it as I wasn't allowed to know, told to keep away as I was hated and insane and evil. I don't think she will ever see it as an accident. I really really don't.

    ---------- Post added at 13:41 ---------- Previous post was at 13:31 ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Annie0904 View Post
    This was not your fault, it was a terrible tragic accident. Your daughter needs someone to blame and at she moment is blaming you. I hope that she will see that you were not to blame but at the moment she is just really hurting for her child.
    Have you been to the doctors? If not then I suggest you do as this has been a very traumatic experience for you and I think you need counselling to help you through it. Sending you lots of hugs
    Yes I went to the doctor's in January just after this terrible thing happened and was given Sertraline. I'm now on 100mg but it's not touching the churnings and feelings of "dread". She recently gave me some diazepam 5mg but said just to take one 3 times a week as they are addictive and also they stop working if you take them all the time. I took one at 3am and it helped to stop the churning but it's back again and I'm howling. I love my daughter but she blames me for ruining the baby's leg -- it WILL be scarred -- and she said she will always be there to give her confidence with the scarring as she grows up. She texted " My first born. I might never have another. Especially a girl. I'm having to come to terms she's not the baby we made. And it's all because of you. I've also lost the last bit of us".

  8. #8
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    Re: huge ptsd

    Sarah,

    It is a terribly sad situation for you to be in......I agree with Annie I think you need counselling.


    Sarah

  9. #9

    Re: huge ptsd

    Quote Originally Posted by Tanner40 View Post
    Very sad story, Creative. Know that it was purely an accident. Time sometimes does heal all wounds. Send your daughter and grand daughter cards. Give time a chance to heal this while continue to show them that you care. Hopefully your daughter will eventually come to the realization that this was just a terrible accident. Thinking of you.
    Thank you x

    ---------- Post added at 14:37 ---------- Previous post was at 14:30 ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahH View Post
    Sarah,

    It is a terribly sad situation for you to be in......I agree with Annie I think you need counselling.


    Sarah
    I've been waiting since last December for Lift counselling. Nothings forthcoming but I haven't been too anxious about this till now. But right now, yes, I really need to have some regular meetings with someone but there's no other counselling in Bath that's free. I haven't enough income to pay privately so will see my GP as soon as I can. Just wish the crying would stop!!! I need milk but daren't go out just yet -- eyes look dreadful

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    Re: huge ptsd

    I think you should go back to your doctor and ask if you can be referred for intense psychotherapy

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