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Thread: huge ptsd

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
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    24,667

    Re: huge ptsd

    Hi Sarah,

    I recall reading your previous post about this. I'm so sorry. This was truly a tragic "accident". I know you're in line for some counseling which will be beneficial. I want to just toss this out this thought...

    The texting thing causes you so much stress and grief. What if you blocked the texts for while while you get yourself together? It sounds to me you've done everything you could to show your remorse and sorrow about the accident as well as your concern for the baby and your daughter, and all you get in return are nasty texts. It may be a good idea to take a break from the constant barrage of guilt.

    Positive thoughts
    __________________
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  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    336

    Re: huge ptsd

    Oh my.... I am sorry.

    An accident is just that, an accident. Not an on purpose!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    2,386

    Re: huge ptsd

    How are you doing today Sarah? No change in situation? I think I might have walked past you near town today but I wasn't sure if it was you...I smiled anyway. I can always try find time for a coffee with you if you're feeling particularly down one day, just give me a text if you need to.
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  4. #14

    Re: huge ptsd

    Thank you Laura that was so kind. Yes we must meet up again, and NR and SarahH too. As for me, "getting there" as they say but boy, is it hard!!!! My daughter has told my mediator (from Sirona) she doesn't want the baby to have any of the toys I've got here....my god that was so painful to take. There are so many she played with and loved. A lovely cot and more toys wherever I look. My support worker has said she can take them away for me and find families who could use them. Maybe it will be a good thing when they've all gone. My GP has suggested I write to the baby telling her how much I love her and how I miss her so that when she's 16 or so, if she comes to find me, she will know I didn't just give up on her.

    I didn't see you in town Laura -- I was probably on "high alert", dreading bumping into the baby so watching buggies more than people! xxxx

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    2,386

    Re: huge ptsd

    It probably wasn't you I saw, don't worry. Yes we must get that meeting sorted out with the others sorted out!
    That's so sad about the toys. I can't believe she would do that, she really is in a funny place. I like the idea about the letter, although your GP isn't being exactly positive about the time it takes to rebuild a relationship! I also like that you have a mediator, that should put an end to the hurtful texts.
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  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    687

    Re: huge ptsd

    I agree with Fishmanpa.

    It probably feels like this awful situation has been going on forever but it has only been a few months and both you and your daughter's feelings are bound to be raw.

    You both need time out to come to terms with what happened and it will be best if you do as she asks and break off contact for the time being. If she's that angry, badgering her will simply make things worse. Like any other sort of emotional trauma, there's no shortcut, you need to be patient while you wait for her to come round.

    As the baby gets better she will see for herself that the accident probably hasn't caused any long-term damage and be more inclined to think rationally about what happened.

    If it's any consolation, I knew a child who poured a pot of tea over himself and spent weeks in hospital with serious burns. There was some scarring but other than that he was too young to remember much about what happened. He was a just normal, happy boy who turned into a normal, happy adult.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    375

    Re: huge ptsd

    writing a letter to the baby????? what an awful idea from the GP if I was the babies mom I would find this manipulative

    sarah your best bet is to let sleeping dogs lie....prob just give it a little time then recontact your daughter not to much time though id say ten days - fortnight


    tk care kris

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    12,410

    Re: huge ptsd

    Quote Originally Posted by ohwell123 View Post
    writing a letter to the baby????? what an awful idea from the GP if I was the babies mom I would find this manipulative

    sarah your best bet is to let sleeping dogs lie....prob just give it a little time then recontact your daughter not to much time though id say ten days - fortnight


    tk care kris
    I think the doctor meant to write a letter to the baby and keep it for when she is in her teens. I think this a lovely idea.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    375

    Re: huge ptsd

    imho that still wont fix any bridges still would just let it lie for a bit of time

  10. #20

    Re: huge ptsd

    My daughter is still calling me evil and has told people I've totally scarred the baby for life. and she can never forgive me and I'm dead to her.I've never badgered her -- just initially kept pleading for news as the baby was in soooo much pain. I loved that baby with all my heart and getting no news, only very upsetting texts calling me every nasty name under the sun, made me even more traumatised. I'm still reliving that walk to the table. My god, I can't get it out of my mind. The scream and the baby's wet tights and red burn, the paramedics and the entire Waitrose staff seemed to be there. It's as real at the moment as it was in January. The baby has probably got a tooth through now, and maybe sitting up. I miss her with all my heart. My GP suggested I write letters telling the little one what has happened and why I haven't seen her and that she was always loved by me. Then, if she comes looking for me with angry questions when she's an adult, the letters will let her know how I've never stopped loving her. Someone I trust has had a little chat to my daughter about a totally unrelated thing and she apparently is still blaming me and said she always will.

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