EXCUSES - EXCUSES

[eeyorelover]

Excuse Letters

The routine is familiar: when a student is late or absent from school, a letter from the parents must be supplied for the absence to be excused. Sometimes such letters suggest that the parents were excused from school too many times in their own youth.

* "My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."

* "Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."

* "Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."

* "Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."

* "Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip."

* "John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."

* "Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."

* "Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins."

* "Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side."

* "Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels."

* "Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak."

* "Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust."

* "Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault."

* "Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday."

* "Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral."

* "My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines."

* "Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well."

* "Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."

* "Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover."

* "Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor."

* "Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night."

xxx
Sandy

[Ross]

lol Sandy - thats funny.

However, my eldest Brother is a bit thick.......

And that is how my Niece got into trouble at school.

He wrote a letter on behalf of my Niece, asking for exclusion from P.E. due to her starting 'Womens Problems'.

My English usage is terrible (as you all well know) but his is beyond belief. He couldn't spell the word 'Stomach'.....

"Dear Mr *********. Abigail cant take part in P.E. becuz she has a bad belly"

Needless to say, Abigail was rushed to the Headmasters Office, and asked why she was attempting to forge a note from her father.

Poor Girl! [V]

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Is There Really Gravity, Or Does Earth Just Suck?

[honeybee3939]

Very Good Sandy !

My Daughter had detention for been late for school this week !

She blamed me too!

She told the teacher that i was snoring in bed and didnt get her up!

The funny thing its true !!! My alarm clock broke and we slept in!

Im dreading the next parents evening now !

Love
Andrea
xxxx





"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"

[Piglet]

Oh Sandy that cracked me up

I don't think many of my letters to school over the years have been much better - mainly cos I can't spell diarehaa so I have to hunt for other words instead [:I]

Nice one

Piglet x

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Ma Larkin]

Listen to this one then! My 18 year old daughter blobbed work because she had been burning the candles at both ends. She told her boss that I'm an alcoholic and I'd collapsed and was in hospital being re-hydrated on a drip! I've never been so humiliated in all my life. Wish I had the time and money to be an alcoholic! Out of the mouths of babes eh!

Les