Kind Of Amusing - Made Me Chuckle

[Ross]

Translation Of A Female's Dating Agency Advert

40-ish - 49

Adventurous - Slept with everyone

Athletic - No Breasts

Average looking - Ugly

Beautiful - Pathological liar

Contagious Smile - Does a lot of Illegal Drugs

Emotionally secure - On medication

Feminist - Fat

Free spirit - Junkie

Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person

Fun - Annoying

New Age - Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded - Desperate

Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate - Sloppy drunk

Professional - Bitch

Voluptuous - Very Fat

Large frame - Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate - Stalker


Language Of The Sexes

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

------------------------------------------------
Is There Really Gravity, Or Does Earth Just Suck?

[suzy1984]

Hehe thanks for that Ross made me giggle & it all looks very true!
Suzy x

[manmoor]

Lololol Ohhh don't we just love the English language!!!

Take Care

Mandyxx

[Chopper]

Nice one Ross!

I'm sure there's a male equivalent too ......

average height = 5' 5"
youthful = spotty
average weight = but all in the wrong places
outgoing = talks sh*#
sporty = spectator
likes contemporary art = watched the Saw trilogy in one sitting
sociable = pi*#head
likes the countryside = dogger![:O]
cultured = prefers Blue Nun to Black Tower
well read = Gazza's autobiography

Happiness and light to all,
'Chopper'


I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!

James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849

[mingsy]

Thanks Ross made me giggle

JANE

[darkangel]

so thats where i have been going wrong DOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



........life is for living not just for surviving

[Melxxx]

Thanks Ross.

That made me smile

Love

Mel


The kindness we extend to others in their their hour of need will return to us at the time we most need it.

[mackncody]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Translation Of A Female's Dating Agency Advert


Language Of The Sexes

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

That is not true![Duh!] The mens stuff is all true though and hilarious...

If nothing else...I will survive.

To: SSJHSMH-U are light and my heart and strength. I will protect you in this life or the next always.

[mazz]

TOO FUNNY TOO TRUE LOL
MAZZ X

[anxious]

very good

anx x

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects