Anxiety disorder, attacks, adjustment disorder and stay home mom to 4 children!!!!!!

[eve22]

HELP!!!!!!!!! Its so hard to deal with my problems and my health and being a stay home mom and wife! Sometimes i feel like im losing myself! My kids are (son) 5, (daughters 2 and 3 years and a baby girl that 5 months old! I don't feel im doing my best because of all my anxiety sickness, feelings, fears! (ext)....
My husband works all the time so i miss him alot and the kids do to, its really hard being home alone with them, to the point were im going to have a nervous break down! I wake up every morning at 6 trying to invite friends over for a (playdate) because i fear being alone! If i cant find a friend to spend the day with me then i will go to my families house for the day and they help me with the kids!

Its just now starting to get warm enough so i can take them outside for fresh air and run there energy down so that's a plus! Just dealing with all of this everyday is so over whelming to the point that i don't know if i will ever get past this because everyday is the same or worse! dont have baby sitters so i can hardly get any (ME) time away from my kids! Days that i do take the kids out start good but end up being that my nerves are so shot and my anxiety gets very high because they are crying, getting in to everything, fighting, terrible 2's (just being kids) and i just cant take it in public at times its just so much by myself! Every once in a while my husband will take off and we all will do something and its alot better when he is around!

My father passed away a month ago so that has took its tole on me and the kids, they dont understand and there always asking for there Papaw its so sad cause i really miss my father to!!!!! I JUST NEED HELP TO TRAIN MYSELF HOW TO COPE WITH IT ALL AS A 22 YEAR OLD YOUNG MOTHER!!!!!!!!

ADVICE PLEASE!!

THANK YOU

[xrachykinsx]

Hey, first off...just want you to know that I'm a 22year old mummy too... I have a 3year old son who is a possible ADHD and/or on the autistic spectrum. His behaviour is extreme all day everyday and it's just so much to cope with. I had a breakdown last October due to a build up of it all..it was a mixture of being a young mum,having a challenging child, getting married, trying to go back to work and it not working out and then the cherry on top was getting a sinus infection which gave me severe insomnia....and that's where my anxiety started- but once my sleep was back on track, the anxiety transferred to daytime anxiety about NOTHING. I literally couldn't and still struggle sometimes to spend time on my own- it's as though I can't stand my own company! So I totally relate to you in that respect.

I'm starting to get better now as I'm on meds but still have wobbles. Are you on medication? xxx

[eve22]

I totally understand! My son is in kindergarten and he is having alot of probs, there thinking its a learning disability or something else im taking him to the doc to have test run! Im glad things are getting better for you! I have been on four dif ADS in the past 5 months but i started Celexa 5 days ago!
What are you taking?

[xrachykinsx]

I'm on Mirtazapine. Not sure if you've heard of it. It's a sedative one that's taken at night. Helps me sleep but promotes natural sleep- it doesn't knock me out or anything. I started on 30mg and after 10weeks although I had improved, it wasn't doing enough as I was too up and down, so increased to 45mg 3weeks ago, and feel I have improved. I've had a couple of things happen whilst I've been poorly that have made me a bit low. I ditched my original group of friends as being poorly showed me their true colours and I guess I was a bit vunerable when it happened so it instantly made me feel worse! I'm also at a crossroads where by I don't know what to do now my son has started pre-school, like I need to get back to work, as having all this time at home doesn't help my anxiety! I also feel quite traumatised by how bad I got if that makes sense? This is my first ever episode of anxiety...I've always been a love life kind of girl so it totally sucks how i've been! xx

[eve22]

Yea im not myself either! everyone can tell it to because i avoid going out sometimes and i just cant seem to focus on anything i use to love and like doing!

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Eve,

I'm sorry to hear about your father.

I've got to say, I would imagine having several young children and a baby would test anyone to the limit let alone with learning difficulties and your own anxiety issues.

I was on Citalopram the first time around and it greatly increased my feelings of anxiety and depression as well as giving me insomnia. Given you are on day 5, I would say there is a very good chance that things are a lot worse because of the side effects. What do you think?

With that in mind, you need to see how things go because they always say it takes 3-4 weeks before the side effects can go but some people are less (more like 10 days to 2 weeks) and some have them longer but not always so intense as the shorter periods. It really is different for us all. Mine took about 3-4 weeks but I had some better days within that time because I had the hypnotic Zopiclone to help with the insomnia until the side effects stopped.

On a practical level, there are often parents support groups for problems with their children. I know there are some over here. Perhaps having someone else to talk to who is in the same situation can help, if only practically since they could be further on in getting help for their child.

I used to attend a self help group for anxiety & depression. A lot of people become friends outside of those sessions so perhaps you could end up with some supportive people who have similiar issues with their children?

I would say that you need to examine where your anxiety stems from and what the triggers are. This might be hard right now with the side effects clouding your ability to do this. But once ready, get pen & paper out and start thinking of things, potentially with your husbands support as it can help to have an outsiders view if you see what I mean as we get so wrapped up in symptoms, sensations, intrusive thoughts, etc that we lose sight of the real issues. I'm guessing that your father's passing has dealt a fair blow and a lot of your pressure comes from being so busy, or at least this has fed on top of existing anxieties. Thats how I read it from your first post. I also noticed that you've been bounced from one drug to another so thats all going to be making you question everything as well as feel worse for the side effects.

I'm sure there are loads of parents on here who can understand how much pressure children can bring so keep posting.

For now, look into things such as Calming Technique and Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) and seek some sort of therapy through your doctor. These techniques are easy to learn. Long term, I always suggest Mindfulness meditation which helps relax at first but as you learn it, because it does take time, it can help you be more focussed, break negative thought patterns, etc. Since you also struggle being on your own, which is very common in anxiety as it just means you will internalise, things such Mindfulness meditation can help you become more comfortable with yourself, but give it time.

I would often suggest exercise to burn off the adrenaline, help regulate your hormones (which I'm betting have been running riot anyway with a new baby) and help your to sleep better. Regular exercise is probably not a case for a mum chasing around a load of little ones and keeping the home together, but perhaps later on it could help you, even if it's a walk in the sun looking at nature.

[eve22]

Thank you,
Yes it is really hard dealing with everything and being a mommy, sometimes i feel like a bad mother because of how i feel inside and i feel like im not doing my best as a mom ... So that makes me very very sad to were i just want all my symptoms to just go away and i start to feel normal again!

Today is my 6th day on Celexa, i take them at night cause they tend to make me sleepy, i also woke up this morning got me and the kids ready and came to my mothers so i didnt have to be home alone! Its kind of driving me crazy cause i really need to be doing some spring cleaning, putting up winter bring out summer clothes!

I live in KY, a small country town, never heard of any anxiety/depression support groups around here but im sure if i look i can come across something...

Its really bothering me to see my son struggle with kindergarten, and a speech impediment, no mother wants that for there child! Im trying to find moms that's dealing with the same as i am, its always good to talk with others who understand!

With all the muscle and upper back pressure my doc gave me some relaxers but i dont like taking them because they put me out! I like to always be alert so i can hear my children and the baby at night if they wake..

When my husband gets home if its still day light i will go for a hour walk and i feel so much better just getting out. Im in need of a treadmill so i can get some exercise in the house also on the days i cant get out.

thank you for all your great advice it was very helpful!!!!!!!

[xrachykinsx]

My son too has a speech issue, so I understand how hard it is. Here's to hoping your meds help you soon I'm only just starting to feel better myself xx

[eve22]

What is insomnia?????????

[xrachykinsx]

When you don't get any sleep...like chronically...you can't sleep at all even though you're tired.