Scared to Death I have Colon / Rectal Cancer

[briguy700]

Hi, I'm Brian. Back in October of 2013 I had severe pain in my left side. After about a week or so of pain, I got the idea in my head that I had some form of colon cancer. Let me clarify, that no 1st degree relatives of mine have or have had colon cancer. My maternal grandmother did, but she is a survivor (x2 !!) and that was over 15 years ago since she had a resection and she is still plugging along at 94 years old.

Back to me. My severe pain in my left side turned out to be a large kidney stone. I underwent a lithotripsy and the stone was eliminated and the pain stopped. HOWEVER, my anxiety never let me let go of the colon cancer seed that had been planted.

During the kidney stone process I had a full torso CT, a full torso X-Ray, all of which came back with no abnormalities, masses, etc., other than the kidney stone. I still remained obsessed with the idea of colon cancer. My doctor gave me a fecal occult test to do at home. The kind where you take three samples on three separate days....all negative for blood. Four days ago I made a platelet donation at my local red cross and had a hemoglobin of 16.0

Three days ago, while wiping after a BM, I had a smear of red blood on the toilet paper. Nothing visible in the water or stool, just the paper. It has continued for 3 days, however in diminishing amounts....spotting as I would call it. My rear end is also very "raw" feeling only when I wipe. No pain or anything otherwise. SO, HERE GOES THE COLON CANCER FEAR again.

My doc (whom I saw this morning) is setting me up now to have the dreaded colonoscopy. I am scared to death. I have convinced myself that I am doomed and I really can't rationalize why. Here are some facts about me in summary.

42 years old
No weight loss - 203lbs give or take a pound or two last 3 doc appts
16.0 hemoglobin - tested this week (4/14/2014)
Great appetite - I could actually stand to lose a few lbs.
History of minor constipation - stool usually normal (well formed) with fiber supplements
Negative Fecal Occult test in March 2014
Stoll light (caramel brown) in color
"Unremarkable" CT in OCT 2013
Abdominal X-Ray in Oct 2013, again nothing report abnormal
No pain other than occasional gas cramps.
Change in bowel habits JUST over the last few days since the blood appeared and I became stressed.

I appreciate any honest opinions you guys might have !!
The ONLY things I have to base any of my fears on are matchstick head smears of bright red blood over the last few days and occasional cramps (not what I would call pain). They come and go.

[AlexandriaUK]

I would bet that he is ordering a colonoscopy to put your mind at rest, sounds like sore botty or piles, are you constipated

[unsure_about_this]

I am agree what AlexandriaUK has said it was best to have a colonoscopy to put your mind at ease.

[Fishmanpa]

The thing about the tests is that they only reassure you for a while. With HA, there will always be something else or the same fear again. There have been dozens of threads to affirm what I'm saying. A clean CT, x-ray, good blood count etc. sounds like you're in good shape. A little blood when wiping is not unusual especially if you've been a bit constipated or strained.

If all is clear (which I suspect it will be), then treating the root of the issue (anxiety) would be the best course of action.

Positive thoughts

[briguy700]

Thank you all, I agree. I must treat this anxiety before it DOES give me something to worry about, such as a heart attack.

Update....my red blood toilet paper spotting stopped after 3 days when I took a couple of Epsom Salt baths and starting using wet wipes rather than toilet tissue. Had what I would call a "tight anus" for a few days and still slightly do due to the anxiety that I am still feeling I think. I guess I am still worried about the colonoscopy (no date set yet) and worried about the "what if"....but again, this whole scenario started with a kidney stone and the rest, I believe is an invention of my mind and making the mistake of googling and WebMD'ing it to death. The minor red bleeding last week just set things off again. Once again, stool looks caramel brown, no fatigue, no weight loss, good appetite, good hemoglobin, maybe some slight constipation, but otherwise feel good physically. Walked a mile and a half yesterday with no problem. Just praying for a good colonoscopy and some peace.

P.S. - Reread my CT Report from October. It said "Small and large bowel are normal in caliber, no bowel wall thickening is identified"

Thanks for your continued support, advice, and opinions.

[SarahH]

I would day you have a "fissure"..........

[briguy700]

Found out today that my initial consult with the gastroenterologist isn't scheduled until May 15th, three weeks from now. Ugh, seems a long time to wait.

[Fishmanpa]

Found out today that my initial consult with the gastroenterologist isn't scheduled until May 15th, three weeks from now. Ugh, seems a long time to wait.

It also means they don't consider it to be urgent

Positive thoughts

[briguy700]

Got a cancellation in the schedule, so now my colonoscopy will be on May 15th at Noon. I'm nervous I will admit, but still not having any symptoms to speak of. Good energy, no visible blood, good appetite. Just looking forward to having this over and then moving forward with the counseling !! Thanks everyone for your replies and support !!

---------- Post added at 15:38 ---------- Previous post was at 15:37 ----------

Oh, and by the way, gave blood last week (April 28) and hemoglobin was 17.3

[briguy700]

Okey dokey folks ! I hope this will help you as well. Guess who DOES NOT have colon cancer !!!?? Yup, that would be me !! 8 months of misery all for naught !! I am glad that I had the test done and have some peace, but as has been stated in this thread, I am sure that something will be "next" for me, so I am going ahead with the counseling to treat the real root of the problem. I did have one small tubular polyp of 6mm that was completely benign and removed completely, other than that my colon was completely clean. Thank you all for your support, advice, and posts !! Keep up the good fight and don't give in to anxiety. If you must have a test to find peace, then get it, but don't forget to attack the root of the issue. Am I cured of anxiety ?? Certainly not ! But I am ready to get on the winning side of this fight. Thanks again so much !!