2 wks 15mg and over 2 wks at 30mg for depression 😞

[keggsy]

I've been on it 4 months and still done 90% of what I would have done had I not fallen ill.
Including a week abroad.

You know booze won't help you.

Going back to work will be hard but it will help you I'm sure.

I have to blag it sometimes due to being so knackered, but being does distract the negative thoughts.

[smithci]

I just don't feel human and it's absolutely rotten!

It's like all my emotions have been shut off. I'm.gonna be on holiday with 4 other lads all happy and downing pints of San Miguel by the pool. My mate paid for the villa. If i didnt go id never live it down.
I was the one all for it last year!

How can this zombie feeling go away? if i start takiing 45mg that might push me over the edge!!

[keggsy]

Well 45 mg has not changed me at all really.

Do your mates not know much about your illness?

[smithci]

Do you mean it hasn't changed you in a good or bad way?

I thought this drug was a dream come true after the nightmare I had trying to get on citalopram.. I just feel this drug may help some people with anxiety but it doesn't seem to work on depression
My mates no nothing about my illness

[xrachykinsx]

I don't mean I haven't felt happy until now. I've just been having cycles of good and bad days but the cycles are becoming less I think. Its hard mate I know but you need to keep going smiles or no smiles...its the only way to get through. You can do it, you will see brighter days soon xx

---------- Post added at 15:20 ---------- Previous post was at 15:18 ----------

45mg has been no different to 30mg really although my days have been more normal on 45mg x

[smithci]

I would just like some relief where I could actually feel some pleasure and not be numb to everything.. I would not wish anhedonia on anyone. It really is like being buried alive.

Even if won the lottery the first thing I'd think of would be getting a private psychiatrist

[keggsy]

Hasn't changed me with respect to affecting my personality.

Depression is a bit better, anxiety slightly improved but no ad is guaranteed to make everything alright again.

Not gonna be easy on holiday though if you are trying to party hard, conceal your illness and feel ropey all at the same time.

Our type of illnesses are one of the worst to live with I reckon.

[smithci]

It seems like I don't have a personality when I'm around people, I can't wait to get away from them whilst on this crap.

So does it not even help your insomnia now??

One of my depression symptoms is horrible early morning waking

I do sleep sometimes but never feel refreshed

I worry I'll get more zombied off these pills but at the same time I might get really ill not taking them

[mummyanxious]

I'm only on day four but it hasn't helped my sleep at all. I've not had any good sleep on the tablets and that was one reason I started them :(

[xrachykinsx]

Do you not think it's the depression that's making you numb? Medication doesn't affect your personality, just your mood. I understand that some meds can numb your emotions slightly..but again, that's your mood not your personality.

Mirtazapine is meant to be one of the most gentle drugs compared to SSRI types. I haven't felt particularly different on them. It's just my anxiety still pokes through frequently. I did have some mega bad days in early days of mirtazapine, and still have a bad day or 2 here and there but moping around the house expecting to feel completley cured wasn't going to help me so I've forced myself to go out, see friends etc and that's all been part of my recovery so far.

I think sometimes we all expect miracles from these drugs. I've kind of come to terms with the fact I'm not going to wake up happy every morning, and starting to accept that these drugs just stop me from going completely under so I can do the rest myself.. There's no denying...it's bloody hard at times, but you really have got to just hold on at least until 8weeks before deciding. Despite my bad days....I still wouldn't come off mirtazapine yet....I can't underestimate what they are actually doing...I was so bad before starting them xx