I've decided to come back and explain more about my journey into anxiety...
Well, I have a very complicated family life... my mom's an alcoholic whom of which has been arrested three times, my dad's bipolar (I live with him) and refuses to take his medication, and my sister, whom of which I'm closer to than anyone else in the world attempted suicide three months ago and spent 21 days in the hospital. (that's when my anxiety turned into full blown panic attacks.)
Oh yea, I forgot to mention, I'm a seventeen year old girl.
My father recently took me out of school, and I'm now homeschooled, because I spent so much time in the guidance office at school, because I couldn't sit in my classes.
I've always been a huge worrier, and daytime is the worst for me. I spend from about 2 p.m. until darkness anxious and afraid. I usually sit in my room with towels over my windows during the day. I'm sort of agoraphobic, but not there quite. I can go out sometimes during the day, but only for an hour or so, like... out to lunch, if it's early enough. And, I can usually go out normally at night, as well.
My anxiety is always worse if my dad's around... I think this is because I've seen how violent he is. I am on xanax and prozac. My psyciatrist told me to come off the xanax, and not take it everyday anymore, but I haven't been able to stop. I haven't went one day without taking it since it's been prescribed to me. The prozac doesn't do anything.
Though I haven't had a full blown panic attack in about three weeks, I've had nonstop anxiety. I feel dizzy, and I forget everything, and it's impossible to concentrate.
People try to comfort me when it's happening, but I can't have people around, I have to leave and go into my room alone, or I can't calm down. I always think something is happening to me medically. I feel like I'm going to collapse or pass out.
The only two people who help are my sister (the one that attempted suicide) and my boyfriend. My sister can only help when I'm feeling anxious (not during an actual panic attack) and my boyfriend helps when I call him and talk to him. They're the two people who are actually concerned with how I feel, and want to see me get better.
I am afriad of highways, I think because I was on a highway the first time I had a panic attack (which was coming back from the hospital visiting my sister).
My panic attacks are very long... they last somewhere between a half hour and two hours, and they used to happen about two or three times a day. It's normally when I'm out somewhere, but it's happened once at home. But I always feel anxious at home, though.
I want help a lot, and I'm coming here not to complain, but to fix my problems, and I hope you guys can help me.
Whitney
Reply With Quote
