Really bad day, tearful and jittery

[sandie]

Hello everyone

I'm really tearful again today, jittery too. Normally I gain some solace from the website, but I feel really down today.

I know its probably to do with being so tired; I took a sleeping tab last night (as with other nights) but still only managed 4 hours. I feel so exhausted and unable to cope. I won't do it, but I really feel it would be so easy to reach for the whole packet and just sleep forever. I know it sounds so dramatic, but I am so so tired. Can't get rid of the tightness in my chest today either - my rescue remedy seems to be struggling.

I've got to get into the car in a short while and travel for 4 hours to visit my elderly mother. My husband is driving (I couldn't possibly - it would be far too dangerous). Its going to be a trial - Ive got meetings with her social worker and staff at the sheltered scheme where she lives. The burden of her and her problems with all that we're going through at the moment is just all too much.

I wish I could sleep - I'm sure it would make it easier to cope with the days.

I'm sorry this seems like such a ramble and odd collection of thoughts but I'm really muddled.

Sandie

[lainey]

Hi Sandie

Sorry to hear that you are feeling so down and jittery today, lack of sleep has obviously affected you and not made better by having all the stress of sorting your mum out.
I hope you feel better soon and have a safe journey.

Just a little tip, I used to put lavender oil on my pulse points and temples,and it really used to help when I was feeling jittery. I bought the tisserand one with a rollor ball end and always kept it in my handbag along with a sports cap bottle of water, I don't know why but having to suck the water out used to help calm me down(I'm not really strange honest lol)

Take care

Hope this helps

Elaine x

[sandie]

Thank you Elaine

I'll put my lavendar oil in my bag. I use it on my pillow at night - but hadn't thought to put it on pulse points.

I'm sure its exhaustion, but I do feel dreadful - I'm dreading the next 3 days, although the activity will distract from the panic attacks. Who knows maybe I'll get so exhausted I'll even sleep.

The whole suicide things is new to me - only really felt like it in the last couple of months. Each time its only a fleeting thought, but its there nevertheless. I have talked about it to a friend, and even mentioned it to my husband. I know I won't do it - but I can see how easy it is when you feel so dreadful, tired and tearful. I'm certain if I could sleep for a straight 6 hours or so on a couple of nights I'd feel better.

Life just feels very painful at the moment.

Sandie

[yorkylover]

Hi sandie,sorry to hear your so down pet.I totally agree with Lainey,lavender is brilliant.Being tired does make us feel awfull.I used to have sleeping pills,they made me like a zombie the next day.
I now have a cup of horlicks and I read for a little while,to wind down.It does help.

Ellen XX

[airwolf451]

hey sandie

dont worry huni i know how you feel all too well, and you should listen to elaine , water is great, i keep mine warm as i find it helps relax me

just a yip you know sleeping tabs can give you the jitters and make you feel bad the next day, try not takingthem and use the lavendar, also hot milk with ginger or a little brandy before bed time can really work.

you wiill make it through today as you do everyday. so many days i just crave peace and relaxation, sometimes it comes sometimes not, but we always make it through,

ask hubby to give you a hug, a soft kiss and hold your hand, as its very comforting when a love one is near

i promise you you will be ok , and im going to say a prayer for you right now and send a little angel to be there for you.

if you ever need me, just pm me,

dont worry and God Bless,

and as Padra Pio says

DO NOT WASTE ENERGY ON THINGS THAT GENERATE WORRY ANXIETY OR FEAR , ONLY ONE THE IS NESSECARY LIFT UP YOUR HEART AND PRAISE GOD,

i find that a great saying.

sending you BIG HUGE HUGS.

STEVE..

[sandie]

Thank you for your prayers.

Sandie

[mirry]

HI SANDIE, Just read your post and empathise how you are feeling, the suiside thoughts are (just a thought) and a thought is a thing ,,,,the difficult part is seperating yourself from it.

I bet there are many people on this site who have had or are having the same thought, the thing is ,we probally can all look back and pin point a time we felt like this.....you will too.
Its good youve told your husband and friend but I would certainly mention it to your doctor , do not worry , they see people like us day in and out and will understand where you are coming from.

Having a long relaxing bath before bed with sented candles can be very relaxing, followed by a hot cup of milk.

Also , when you get them unwanted feelings , remember to come and chat to us here for support (a problem halved and all that).

take care



mirryx

[Nel]

Sandie hon I've PM'd you - I didn't realise how bad you were feeling today.

Nel xxx

[sandie]

Thank you everyone (I've read your PM Nel). I'm still pretty tearful, but who knows maybe I'll doze in the car. I'll be checking postings on my husband's laptop whilst I'm away over the next 3 days. But please bear with me if I don't respond immediately.

Thanks for your prayers and support - maybe I'll get some sleeptonight.

Sandie

[mick]

hi Sandie
hope you feel better soon life is hard at times i know but youve got friends here who are behind you all the way thats what this site is all about take care pet
Mick