Can You Handle It

[Tanner40]

Good Morning! I was just sitting here this morning, writing about fear. After all, isn't that what HA really always is? The fear of something. The fear of disease, injury, cancer, etc... What is behind our fears?

I think the thing that is always behind our fears is the ultimate fear, the fear that we can't handle what will happen. The fear that we won't be able to get through it, whatever it might be.

Somewhere behind the fear that we can't handle what will happen is an enormous self doubt. We doubt our abilities, our strength, our judgement, our thinking. We doubt ourselves.

What would happen if we began to work on trusting ourselves? Trusting and believing in our ability to handle whatever was thrown our way. My guess is that our fears would greatly diminish. My guess is eventually we would have a lot less to fear.

If every time we had a physical reaction, or a symptom, or a thought that we had this particular disease, we said to ourselves, I can handle this. I can handle anything that comes my way. Our self confidence would improve and our fears would begin to diminish.

How about trying this just for today?

[Amandala]

a great post! I am trying so hard to start trusting myself and others. My CBT has explained to me a million times that the key is you have to accept there are no certainties. Maybe my throat is going to close and I'll suffocate, maybe I wont. But to trust that if it does happen, I can handle it by getting the medical help I need, and not waste time worrying as if that is going to prevent anything from happening. If you are going to drop dead, you are going to drop dead whether you are scared or not.
Years ago, when I developed belly issues and worried about it constantly, I was eventually diagnosed with Crohn's. It sucked, I was miserable, but I did what I had to do and like you said, handled it. My anxiety at that time disappeared. So, I am with you, I can handle whatever I am feeling and I have proven that many years ago. This is no different. Thanks for giving me something to really think about and reflect on.

[Tanner40]

Amandala, Crohn's can certainly be no fun. I have a friend that struggles with that disease. You handled that though. You were strong and you did what you needed to do. Congratulations on that!

You gave me something to think about as well. All of the times that we have worried about things like "our throats closing up" were times that we were not living nor enjoying life. Precious moments wasted on "what if's" that never happened.

There have been several times today that I have started to worry about something and I just stopped, and said I can handle this. I can handle anything that comes my way. So far it's made my day an enjoyable one.

Here's hoping that your day has been great.

[cpe1978]

I think this is an excellent point. The reality is that for the most part we would deal with things far better than we think. Think of all the situations you were frightened of in your life, a new job, a first date etc. my bet is that in the main they were nowhere near as terrible as you imagine.

At the heart of CBT is our reaction to anxious thoughts. When most people talk about anxiety they talk about wanting to stop feeling anxious, yet focus on the wrong part. If you imagine anxiety as a fire, you can choose with your reaction to it either to fan the flames or to dowse them. For example, if you wake up in the morning and think, 'my arm aches I wonder what it is', you can either ride through it and sit with your anxious thought or you can react to it.

The brain is a simple thing at its heart and gets bored if not rewarded. Eventually you will find the anxious thoughts boring, they will elicit a less violent reaction and so on and so forth. Try it, what have you got to lose, don't expect an instant change but it does work!

[Tanner40]

Morning Chris, exactly the point that I was trying to make. If we really work on changing our irrational thoughts and make them into something positive, our simple brains (sometimes I think mine is oh so simple) will get bored with the anxiety very quickly. It takes a lot of work on a daily basis, but the end results can be so worth it.

We spend way too much time worrying about things that never come to pass. Imagine the life we could be leading without all of these what if's.