Fear of childbirth/pregnancy

[Ma Larkin]

I was scared of all the "blood and guts" stuff, and I'm not exaggerating when I say that labour pains are the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life, and men are so lucky!! I could have had a number of pain relief gadgets, but I chose to manage on gas and air (Entonox). With being a novice at this, I didn't really know how to use it properly, but by the time babies 2 and 3 came along, I was an expert! There is no need for pain during childbirth in this day and age. There are epidurals, TENS machines and god knows what else to keep you pain free. I've also had natural births and caesarean so don't anyone think that C sections are taking the easy way out like all these pop stars because it is so no true!! Recovery for the first few days is bloody awful and spoiled my first few days of bonding with my baby.

BUT babies are beautiful and are a part of each and everyone one of us, something that only we can create and there is nothing I love better than my "mini me's" wanting and needing me (they look like me too lol!!)

Les

[tnt808]

I wouldn't say we *forget* about the pain after our bundle of joy is upon us, however, I will say that the pain is worth every terrible moment. Yes, it is also true if it were that awful how come our silly butts keep having them? Because they are worth every contraction, every horrible push, and all the sleepless nights!

You can get help for this. Seek a counselor and see what they can offer you. My anxiety was terrible with this last pregnancy and for that reason I will not do it again, not because of the pain. There are ways around the pain...you can have an asbolute pain free delivery if you want one.

I don't know how I managed w/ my anxiety at an all time high during the last couple of months, I just did it I guess. It's amazing what we endure for our babes. You can do it and I really hope that you do...it's a wonderful experience even with the pain...I wouldn't have changed a thing!

Also, if you can't get past the labor/delivery thing adoption is an amazing thing. I have done that as well and she is just as much mine as the two that came from me!



"Be The Change You Want To See In The World"...

Take Care of You,


Tina

[snoopy]

Hi all,

I have just had my forth baby, and because of my anxiety i have had in the last couple of years i was really really worried about the pregnancy, as i really wanted to enjoy it as much as before. I had all my horible anixety symptoms all the way through, but just kepted thinking about the the joy to come. I got through, and just did the delivery thing very different this time, as i do start to feel a bit panicky and scared when D day arrives, although very excited too. So i had a epidural this time. FANTASTIC!!! best decission i could of made, as i was suffering quite a bit this time with taking a long time to dilate. The secound stage of labour, pushing! the bit most dreaded was wonderful. I loved it. So don't be afraid to ask for a pain free birth. my other babies were all born on gas and air which was very different, but i wasen't suffering from anxitey back then and coped with the pain. This time i just knew i would need a bit of help. I am soo pleased i refused to let the anxitey stop me having another child, as i am soo happy and have another beautiful daughter. I feel so lucky. I love being a mum and having a large family, as my husband and i don't have much of a family.

If you want a baby one day. Go for it. The health pro's really looked after me, knowing i had developed an
health anxitey disorder. It made all the difference in the world. Good luck!

Snoopy x




Snoopy x

[celestial]

Hi 'snoopy'

Come into this late, but just wanted to say you've restored some hope for me that I might be able to one day have babies.

I am repulsed by the idea of giving birth to the point that I can't watch it on TV without crying and/or shouting at the screen. I know that I would be completely incapable of dealing with that sort of pain and for a long time had sadly resigned myself to not having any children of my own despite really, really wanting them.

It helps to know that there are people who will look after you properly if you're as scared as this. Not in the 'oh, everyone gets scared you'll be fine' way (I am worried that it won't be known that I'm not just one of those women who will get on with it) but actually treating the fear with the seriousness it deserves.

It's also very heartening to hear how many women have epidurals now, and how by and large they are seen as a good thing. In my mother's day nobody really had them, so it's good to see that we've moved into the 21st century in that respect.

[Wilburis]

hI

I had my second daughter 3 months ago. Im a sufferer of acute anxiety and panic.

I had an elective c section as I was too scared to give birth naturally.

My anxiety went sky high during my pregnancy but now I look back on it, I would gladly go through it all again and have another child.

I was under the care (and still am) of a perinatal consultant, she is fab, and I can call her or see her whenever I want. There are meds that are safe to take during pregnancy, if you need to.funily enough, after I had my daughter, and was being assessed by the midwife before being discharged from the hospital, we got talking and she said that about 50% of women are actually on some kind of anti depressant!

I shall be trying for my third child next year, it was a time of worry, I wont lie, the feeling sick was bloody awful, worry about problems with the baby, but it was all worth it. I paid for a private detailed scan at 20 weeks which really put my mind at ease and then had a 4d scan done at 28 weeks and have some wonderful pictures.

Good luck - Liz xx

[erialc]

I too have these fears.

I am scared or 1) something being wrong with me 2) something being wrong with the baby 3) pain and 4) what my anxiety (health ) will be like for 9 months!!!!

I am 28 and thinking about a family but am scared about it! I got married last year in Italy, my sister-in-law was pregnant and she lost the baby while in Italy and it was awful - they missed the wedding and although the day was great - everyone was upset cos of what happened.

I hope I can overcome my fears and maybe will be posting to tell you all my news soon - mmm maybe in a year

[mumof4]

ive had 3 kids and i loved being pregrannt and i had 2 natural births would say it was sore and yes it does go away once the baby is born.

i would love 1 more but not allowed lol.

[emma81]

Hiya,

Like you carla i also lost my baby i was 21 weeks so i have a good reason to be scared i think!

He was our first and we lost him in february this year.

I am absolutely terrified of becoming pregnant again for a number of reasons: i need fertility treatment that is only provided in a place i cannot get to due to my agoraphobia - the fear i will lose another baby - the fear of how the fertility medication will make me feel - the fear of the operation i will need around 12 wks into the pregnancy that will mean staying in hospital miles away from home for about a week alone - the list goes on and on....

However on a positive note, when i did go into early labour with my angel son i had so much gas and air i didnt actually care about being in the ambulance and being taken away from home so the agoraphobia calmed itself down and although born sleeping tha pain of childbirth must be so worth it to have a beautiful baby in your arms at the end of it; because holding my angel i could see through the tears what a beautiful boy he would have been.

Despite it all i a going to face the fear - not right now - but once we are married in 8 months time we are starting fertility treatment and i am using the 8 months leading up til then to try and face my agoraphobia and panic attacks and get myself to a place where i am able to get to where the clinic is without experiencing a panic attack everytime.

Emma

[celestial]

Lizzie> I would LOVE to have an elective C-section. I'm very happy to see that it seems to be possible, as it's something I almost thought there was no point requesting. What hoops did you have to jump through, and did you pay?

I mean, I'm scared of that too, but I generally go for surgical procedures rather than letting things 'work their way out' because it feels more predictable and controlled.

[skitty]

Just couldnt resist my 2cents worth on this topic!
Ive had anxiety all my life especially health anxiety and thought I would never be able to handle being pregnant, i was also afraid to have children because of my horrible childhood.
But once I found i was pregnant i never considered terminating it - i guess i just went into this trance like detached state where nothing really mattered any more (pregnancy supplies its own happy hormones).
I had dreadful morning sickness but it ended eventually and when the baby was born a higher power seemed to take care of me - my body knew what to do, i was like a heiffer in the field swept along by ancient irresistable forces more powerful than myself, in fact i hardly had a self - it was all primal urges!
I had no drugs and no support and i suppose it hurt but i cant really remember now, just this overwhelming rollercoaster ride that had its grip on me and had to be ridden to the end.
i had no tearing or stitches and walked to the shop the next morning (the nurses were horrified!)
Dont think about it too much. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Trust mother nature to do her job and dont second guess her. Billions of female mammals have been there before you and reproduction is one of the defining characteristics of life.