Fear of childbirth/pregnancy

[PUGLETMUM]

this is going to sound so soppy and melodramatic but this thread had reduced me to tears. i am so glad all you ladies are posting and i feel happy/sad to listen to your stories.

firstly to the two who lost their babies - i am so sorry for you, and i wish you peace. i only had a miscarriage in the first week of pregnancy and i was so upset, so what youve been through is truly awful and you both need time to grieve and recover - be gentle with yourselves.

saying that i am blessed with having a child already, but im 35 and i feel a real urgency to have another one now and so does my other half, but im just so worried about being an anxiety sufferer and being a parent. weve had loads of help from my in-laws, but it doesnt seem to help. im worrying about how we'd cope if they werent here, my daughter is at the MEN in manchester tonight with the school choir, and we wont go because of my agoro, so i ask myself 'okay what will we do with another one without the in-laws?' they are all weve got so i really fear not having support, even though i know in my heart that in some ways this support has actually weakened both me and my husband. so maybe wed just get on with it? i dont know, but i know that im frustrated and miserable alot of the time because i cant decide whether to commit to it, and then if i do because of my age im worried either it wont happen, ill have another miscarriage or ill get pregnant and something will be wrong, i question my ability to cope, so does this therfore mean i cant cope?

best wishes to all emma

[PUGLETMUM]

oh yeah i also forgot to say to skitty that your post is brill and i agree with what you say 100% - i think thats a lovely philisophical way of looking at it, so thanks for that

[Catwoman]

Many of the fears I have now were made worse when I became pregnant. I had a fine pregnancy but the birth was traumatic, I won't say any more about this as every birth is different. My son was also conceived after a long and difficult series of fertility treatments, which kind of made it worse, though I am not sure why?
I cannot really afford another child BUT know even if I could I would be scared this would happen again. I ended up with an emergency caesarian, and although you cannot say this is an easy or painfree option (far from it) its far more controlled than labour. But if you did want an elective caesarian be prepared to fight tooth and nail for it from doctors.
My advice would be if you really want a child then conceive and deal with problems as they come, thats what I did. The more we think about things the more we worry etc.. good luck. x

[jojofletch]

[quote=lizzie67;280454]hI

I had my second daughter 3 months ago. Im a sufferer of acute anxiety and panic.

I had an elective c section as I was too scared to give birth naturally.

My anxiety went sky high during my pregnancy but now I look back on it, I would gladly go through it all again and have another child.

I was under the care (and still am) of a perinatal consultant, she is fab, and I can call her or see her whenever I want. There are meds that are safe to take during pregnancy, if you need to.funily enough, after I had my daughter, and was being assessed by the midwife before being discharged from the hospital, we got talking and she said that about 50% of women are actually on some kind of anti depressant!

I shall be trying for my third child next year, it was a time of worry, I wont lie, the feeling sick was bloody awful, worry about problems with the baby, but it was all worth it. I paid for a private detailed scan at 20 weeks which really put my mind at ease and then had a 4d scan done at 28 weeks and have some wonderful pictures.

Good luck - Liz xx[/quoten ]



hi i am suffering at the moment with accute anxiety over child birth. i fell preganant in may and have just lost the baby and i can't help thinking my extreme anxiety was the cause.i explained to the midwife,about my anxiety over childbirth and that i wanted to elect a c section and i could not get any answers as to whether they were going to let me do it this way,they just said i had to speak to the doctor at about 17 weeks. i really want to have a baby and try again but i now know how extreme my anxiety is when i am pregnant. at what point were you advised you could have a c section and what is a perinatal? can you give me anymore advice, thanks x

[jojofletch]

i am suffering at the moment with accute enxiety about the fear of giving birth.i have just lost a baby at 10 weeks and i can't help blaming my anxiety problems for this. i really want a baby and wanted to elect for a c section but i couldn't get any answers on whether they would let me elect for this.can you give me more advice on this?

[PUGLETMUM]

hi jojofletch, i am in a similar situation to you, although it isnt currently resolved - i have to have a scan tomorrow - my third to see where this pregnancy is going. i dont think intense anxiety can casue you to lose a pregnancy? youve only got to read others stories to see that they were really anxious but they went on to have babies. i hope you get the answers to your questions. id be interested to know about the detailed scan? and i also hope you can resolve your anxiety issues so tha tyou can have another go at being a mum, tc, emma

[milly jones]

i read the previosly quoted thread and was suprised to see that there are more ppl like me.

ive had a child, the pregnancy was ok. i did have emergency c section, and i love my son loads, hes 11 now.

my fear is getting pregnant again. ive tried taking the pill but it just messes up my emotions more. im paranoid about getting sperm on my hands without washing straight away. ive scared that my hb will have some on his hands and i will get pregnant. this has totally ruled my life since having my son.

each month i wait for my period to come, even though it is totally irrational that i could be pregnant. ive even done tests to put my mind at rest. i imagine my boobs are more sensitive and my tummy feels different, even just after ovulation, which would be impossible as its far too early to know. but it doesnt stop the worry.

when i was much younger i was warned about the 'consequences' of getting pregnant and i think this has left long lasting emotions that have lead to these fears.

its not the fear of pregnancy per say, its just that i fell pregnant straight away when we wanted a child, and as it was so easy it could happen again.

this has dictated my life for so long, i think its about time i asked u guys for help and advise,

thank you in anticipation

milly xxxxx

[Wilburis]

hi

So sorry to hear about your loss. Thinking about you.


Just to let you know, the Doctors booked me in for a c section at about 16 weeks. It was really weird to know that my baby would be born on that particular date and that her birthday had been already decided!!

Could you not ask your Doc or midwife to refer you to a special mental health unit for pregnant mothers. Here it is called MIMHS- Mother and Infant Mental Health Service. I saw a perinatal consultant psychiatrist here, and she was wonderful. I couldnt have managed without her support.

I am currently trying for another baby, although its difficult - PCOS.

Normally anxiety gets less severe during pregnancy, due to feel good hormones, but I was unlucky, mine went mental!!!! I would definately go through it all again though! The result at the end was worth it.

Good luck and please let me know if I can be of anymore help.

Lizzie xx

[mabelina]

Im 33 next month and the only reason i havent had children is the fear of childbirth. Not one of my school friends havent had children except me! I love the thought of being pregnant but the birth terrifies me. Im convinced my heart wouldnt cope with it and all the horror stories you hear are bound to happen to me

[lilibet]

Wow everyone

This thread is just so interesting.

Firstly i had my son in 1995 (nearly 13 now) and I was sooooooo scared that i had c-section planned etc.

Secondly, i have been told about 3 years ago now that i could have another planned c-section but i am just too scared still. As i have got older my anxiety is huge, e.g. what if i go into labour and there is no time for a c-section? What if i get a horrible midwife? etc etc.

Thirdly, at the time i was pregnant with my son i would have gladly paid to go private and had a c-section even though i couldnt hve afforded to.

Lastly, Milly you are I are exactly the same. I read your post and thought thats ME!

Love Lilibet x