I Thought I Was Getting So Much Better

[Ruby]

.....but I wasn't, after all...:([Sigh...]

I am 38 and have had anxiety disorder since I was 12.
I am mother to my 12 year old daughter.
I am agoraphobic and have OCD as well.
I take Cipralex (Escitalopram) and have done for a year now.
I am a recovering alcoholic - haven't had a drink for a year and a half.
I also recently stopped smoking - 3 months ago. I was on 20 a day and had been for 23 years.


I am scared today.
I thought I had a grip on all this. My existence was a bright and positive thing at last - with me in control and I was able to LIVE. It had been with me for so long and I'd fought off so many demons but 2 days ago I had a big old panic while driving along the A3. Not good. The first major panic for 6 months...

Since then, I can feel it creeping back - scared to go out of my 'safe area' (too far from home). Feeling breathless. Feeling dizzy, heavy, nervy, tired.

I am really VERY annoyed about all this.:(
But I say that with a because otherwise I'd lose it all completely.

Anyway - I'm pleased to be here. There's much for me to read and although I have had this 'thing' so long and have read and experienced and reaserched and talked so incredibly much already all these years, you can never try to hard. Not with this.

Right! Enough whittering. I'll shut up a bit and just read.

[nomorepanic]

Hiya Ruby and welcome to the site and message forum.

I am 38 and have had anxiety disorder since I was 12.
Sorry to hear that - it is a long time. I have suffered 11 years now.

I take Cipralex (Escitalopram) and have done for a year now.
How are you finding it and does it help atall?

I am a recovering alcoholic - haven't had a drink for a year and a half.
Well done to you [^] My dad was an alcoholic so I KNOW how hard it can be to beat that. You are doing so well.

I also recently stopped smoking - 3 months ago. I was on 20 a day and had been for 23 years.
Wow on that one too - great news and you have achieved a lot to be able to do that too.

I used to panic whilst driving (it is taking me some time to say "I used to" rather than "I do" cos I have been panic free for some months now).

Try to tell yourself it was a one-off and you can beat it again. I assume you have done that drive before without issue?

It is good to be angry at it and keep that feeling going - don't let it beat you ok. You can get back to the good old feelings again and you can beat this.

You have achieved so much and done so well to knock the booze and the fags on the head so don't give up now ok?

You will get all the support you need and want on here so please hang around and we will try to help ok.

Please be assured that you are doing well to cope with some things that you have and you can get over the rest.


Nicola

[Laurie28]

Hiya Ruby,

You seem like one hell of a strong person to have achieved so many things lately. Do you have any idea what 'triggered' your attack?? have you been more stressed lately.

This is possibly just a 'blip' Ruby and you won't get another attack.

PLs don't avoid situation (like going out) as I am sure you are aware that will only make things worse
Do you have a partner to support you?

I'm sure your daughter is very proud

Take Care
Lucky

[Meg]

Hey Ruby

Wow, you've done sooo well. many congratulations.

You've had a blip as Lucky said . You need to dig out those coping skills that you know you have in there and use them. Try First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety if you've forgotten where you put yours...


My existence was a bright and positive thing at last - with me in control and I was able to LIVE. It had been with me for so long and I'd fought off so many demons but 2 days ago I had a big old panic while driving along the A3. Not good.

This is a BLIP and you do not now suddenly have to put all your progress in the past tense !

Figure out what you were dwelling on as you were driving along...

You know avoidance leads to further self limiting activities. Dig deep inside and look forward remembering how you managed all your previous magnificent achievements .






Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[Peter]

Hi Ruby,

I can't believe all you have achieved, most people spend a lifetime trying to tackle even just one of these.

I found myself in the same situation last March, I had been rolling along quite nicely and then out of the blue was hit, what I felt like a slap in the face. I spent the whole weekend hyperventilating. It got me really down cause I felt like I was right back where I'd started. I didn't see it coming and couldn't understand how it happened.

I settled down during the week and told myself that I was doing all the right things and just to stay with it. As it turns out I wasn’t back at the start, just a little blip and I haven’t had one since.
It can be a bit of a roller coaster and from my experience there will be peaks and troughs. While in a trough, just try to settle down and let it pass.

Best of luck
P

[Ruby]

Well. aren't you all lovely.

I'm so pleased and touched that you have written so encouragingly and thoughtfully to me.
The one thing I have tried to concentrate on in the last few days is not avoiding 'scary' and 'unsafe' situations.
I get very panicky in the heat and humidity yet I walked out with my dog and my daughter 3 times today. So, that made me feel strong.

Yay me!

[Laurie28]

Hiya Ruby,

i'm glad you aren't avoiding 'scary' situations. I avoided stuff whern i was really bad and even now I can't do some things because I have still implanted these things in my mind!!!

Well done on the walks Ruby and let us know how you get on

Love
Lucky

[oshun]

hello ruby,

I don't really kow how chat forums work yet so i hope i am replying to your message here.

just wanted to say, hope you are feeling better again, and you seem to have been struggling with a lot, so maybe a hug from complate stranger helps {{}}

oshun

[sal]

Hi Ruby

Reading your post you have overcome so much and you should be so pleased with how you have come so far.

You have had so many things against you and overcome them all.

Giving up drinking must have been so hard and i admire you for that, then to move on and give up smoking.

We all get scared hon, and we all go through bad patches, just a quick reminder to how we suffered.

I admire you for all you have overcome and achieved.



Love Sal xxxxx