Social Awkwardness!? Anyone Else?

[Skye Winter]

Hey all,
I'm gonna go straight to the point...

I'm really socially awkward and it sucks. Not so much with people I'm comfortable with (family and close friends) but everyone else... I just don't know how to act or what to do with myself.

This morning I was in work and a colleague who was on maternity came in to see us as she hadn't been in for a long time. I was quite excited to see her so I stood up and went over to the crowd of people who were already surrounding her. When I saw her I said hey and from there on it just went horribly awkward...

I get racing thoughts. "Do I hug her? Kiss her cheek? Tell her she looks well? Ask how the baby is? Is that too weird? Am I just jumping on her? She's only just got here! Okay, chill out. Tell her she looks nice. But is that weird? Ahhh!"

...By the time all of that has gone through my head, we've been standing in a horrible awkward silence for too long and it's just so awkward and embarrassing.

She eventually reached over and hugged me but it was just so so so awkward because I think she could tell I didn't know what to do with myself.

Anybody else get this?

I hate it, I'm so socially inept. :(

Thanks in advance
- Skye

[fishman65]

Hi Skye Winter,

You are certainly not inept.You are just as valid as anyone else in that room and social anxiety is a royal pain that can affect anyone.I know how easy it is to put ourselves down.

I am a carer for my wife and spend long periods of the day alone.There were builders working next door and I 'tested' myself by making them tea,but when I took it out I was lost for conversation and felt distinctly uncomfortable.Why I put myself through it I don't know,but after I came back in I was beating myself up over it,asking why I can't be normal etc. But they were just grateful I made them tea cos no others had bothered so they told me. I must have appeared normal? Whatever normal is.

Your work colleague was likely feeling awkward too and wouldn't it be lovely to be able to climb inside someone else's head just for a moment,just to see how they are feeling.

Take good care and know you are not alone.

Best wishes, Fishy

[Oosh]

Aww haha. I'm like that and I've done that.

It was a different person, different scenario but I remember to this day and hold my face and cringe. I absolutely 100% know what you feel like.

I'm better now but I still feel it.

You've got to laugh. It's all you can do. Nobody really cares. I'm sure the person in question doesn't.

I'm better one on ones where I can approach a person and have a bit of a chat so they can see I'm ok. I generally work a bit more low key, one on one like that when the fuss is over, the crowds are gone and nobodies listening.

Choose moments that suit you.

I know it's cringy but try and laugh about it.

[Manny]

I agree with Oosh! You just have to try and laugh about it. I use to get so caught up in how I awkward I was talking to people, especially if there's a lot of people surrounding me. I have now resorted to just blatantly pointing out the situation is awkward, and make light of the situation, and usually the other people were feeling so awkward too, we just laugh about it and it almost works as an ice breaker to say 'so... this is awkward!'. It makes the known, known and you can almost slide past it easier. Haha - I don't know! It works for me most of the time! When all else fails, laugh it off, maybe even with those people you're trying to talk to!