Struggling

[Zebadoo]

Hi, I'm not sure what to do. I split up from my girlfriend of 9 years 2 months ago, she was the person that really helped me get through some bad times. I've been trying since we split up to sort things out as we have a 5 year old son and I still truly love her. This was until last week I found out she had met someone else soon after we split. I've taken this really hard and the thought of being on my own scares me, I feel I'm no real use for my son as my anxiety gets in the way of me doing things with him. I've recently been constantly thinking about and googling suicide, I haven't got the guts to do it but I hate feeling this down. All day long I have the thoughts going through my head that another man is in my house in my bed and reading my son his bedtime story. What do I do?

[Oosh]

Ugh, mate that's rough.

I have a five year old son and a three year old son.

Your son will love YOU a HUGE amount. As long as you're around you will be incredibly important to him. That's just the way it is. Little boys adore their dads, anxiety or not.

Your relationship with him is likely to be far FAR better with him than with any step dad as long as you keep yourself in his life.

So don't give her and him another thought and think only now of your son.
He is going to need his real dad. All you have to do is be there.

Have a home for him where he can visit and stay over regularly. Do nice things with him. Be there for those occasions that are important to him. He'll worship you. Let him get to know who you are. Teach him about the world. Give him nice experiences. You'll have a son who worships the ground you walk on.

What him and her do is really irrelevant. You'll have that relationship with him as long as you're there.

He's gonna go through a lot of stuff as he grows up. He's gonna need you to be there and show him how to deal with it.

I've felt anxious, inhibited and a bit rubbish around my two, but it works out. Just be around them and it all works out.

The less time you spend thinking of your ex and him the better. It's just a no go from now on.

You're single now. Find someone else that's good for you and have a close relationship with your son.

Keep us updated. Don't get yourself down.

[MRS STRESS ED]

Hi, I'm not sure what to do. I split up from my girlfriend of 9 years 2 months ago, she was the person that really helped me get through some bad times. I've been trying since we split up to sort things out as we have a 5 year old son and I still truly love her. This was until last week I found out she had met someone else soon after we split. I've taken this really hard and the thought of being on my own scares me, I feel I'm no real use for my son as my anxiety gets in the way of me doing things with him. I've recently been constantly thinking about and googling suicide, I haven't got the guts to do it but I hate feeling this down. All day long I have the thoughts going through my head that another man is in my house in my bed and reading my son his bedtime story. What do I do?

Love im really sorry to hear this ,its so hard when you split up but its even harder when theres children involved ,Ive been there done that one what you need to do is stay strong stay positive fight your anxiety and fight for your little boy believe in yourself it does get easier believe me please dont think about suicide think about living take care xx

[Zebadoo]

Hey, thanks for the replies, puts things into perspective. Still seem to have a good day then a bad day but all in all more positive.

[Jacsta]

You are feeling lost without direction because there has been a major change in your life. It will take time for things to settle down, it is hard because you were used to thinking of life as a family unit and now there is just you with your son.

Take some time out to think about you and what you want to do to move forward. What hobbies do you have? What hobbies could you have?

It sucks when we lose someone that was a great support, but you obviously have strength and I believe you can get through this. The google about suicide is because you are feeling desperate / overwhelmed, please don't dwell on these thoughts or urges...maybe at these points write down what you are feeling in a mood diary...the Samaritans are are good source of support and advice and you can phone or email them.

Another option is to look at success stories on this forum....you will see people who have been right down at the bottom, and have made it through....keep things positive and don't suffer alone

Glad you are having some good days, keep doing things that you enjoy, and give yourself a break...be kind to yourself x