How does your anxiety effect your day to day life in terms of how you function?

[Ollie28]

Hi everyone,
i was just wondering because i struggle so so much with my awareness and memory and the way i function now compared to how i use to i just wanted to ask how your anxiety or depression effects your dayly life in terms of awareness, concentration, memory, ect.

ive really been struggling latley - i believe it could be major depression now with anxiety but im yet to see my dr to discuss this.
I was so bad the last 2 days i feel ashamed to say it but i was contemplating suicde wich is something i before the last 3 months have ever thought i would ever say to myself. Im not looking for sympthony here just wants to find out if my stpmtoms seem normal for anxiety & depression....

The last 2 days ive been very very very lathargic, so bad i couldnt look after my children i had i thought they would be better not at home so i asked my sister to collect them for a few hours 8-( i would never ever ever do this if i really really felt so bad and lack of everythin.
My memory and awareness at this stage when feeling like this is non exsistent to the point im not even have the strength to be bothered about anything like ive not even got the mind power.

I showerd and as much and as hard as it felt to lift my head like i didnt have the power to go outside i went to my sisters, i got there and was trying to explain how i feel - i feel like nothing! Nothing at all! No energey, no thought process power, the kind of(even tho i do care of course i do but how felt was scary and it was like i couldnt!) hardly no natural awarness - whats going on around me.

Basicaly i felt like i had nothing in me, it worried me. I keep having this t for days, weeks but not as bad as last 2 days - when suddenly i snap out of all if it (ive mentiond this before) but my dr still says its anxiety..... Why at my sisters it happend after talking to her, i was happy, i was energetic i was smiling! Wtf!!!! But as always i yawn like ive woken from a 100 year sleep!!! It lasted about 30 mins then i could feel the over welming butterfly's rushin in my stomach and i felt that anxious worry feeling.
I left and returned home - when i got home i felt full of anxious fear adrenaline rush feeling, loads of butterfly's going crazy in my stomach, my eye sight was scatterd n poor n my head felt like it was going 1000miles an hour but my mood and feelins were good to the point where i felt hyperactive!
It calmed down i calmed down watched a bit of tv but still had the "raging butterfly's" coming and going to where i had to stand up and try to deal with them some home.

Today i woke up felt ok, i felt ok most of the day a little but of pacing rushing thoughts like my mind was twisting up so i took diazeapam to try calm me, they got strong before then no i feel kind of ok just tense....


Whats going on with me??? Please can someone help? Im going my drs monday to try my best to get something from him because i cant do this no more. 4 months now ive been like this with the same sensations n feelings its destroying me and my family. Could it be bipolar? Is it a very big case of anxiety? Is it both?

I have times when i think im going totaly crazy & im adament i cant do it then like now i laugh and think how could i possibly thing that but then later it will all come back and i struggle to deal with it.

Sorry for rambling on ive no to talk to my family dont really understand or help they just tell me to get on with it like im not trying! Its scaring the life out if me & i cant cope with the twisted crazy feeling that rush through my mind.

Many thanks
Mark

[loreen]

Hello Mark

You sound like you have anxiety,which has now made you depressed.

I had very similar symptoms to you,starting with anxiety then terrible depression. You need to tell your doctor about your suicidal thoughts,and if he doesn't listen, speak to another medic. I hear you when you say you are not looking for sympathy. That was the last thing I needed when I felt that bad.

Are you on medication ? Write down how you have been feeling and give it to your doctor. You are describing classic depression,and you need help to deal with it.

This site is good when you need someone to talk to,and there is always the samaritans and Mind.

Please get some help - you and your children need support and understanding xxx

[Ollie28]

Hi Loreen,

Thank you for replying to me, i feel so hopeless to the point where i feel disabled, its lie i really really want to but ino matter how hard i try i just cant.
its destroying my life - going from going work everyday as a gas engineer traveling the country, having family holidays just enjoying life to basicaly nothing. I do feel so hopeless & have a lack of anything at all, i feel like i cant even do things if i wanted to, like my soul has been taken. I try to lift myself but it feels like running underwater and the harder i try the worse it gets.
it would be easyer to just stay in the house. I would never of behaved like this in the past or even felt like this. I dont feel down in terms of sad i just feel like i cant. Its the feeling of i cant or lack of anything thats making me feel sad if that makes sense?
Im going the drs monday to tell him, i love my children dearly so so much, ive always worked to give them the best life i could and this is breaking me heart being like this. I feel so worthless i feel nothing like i use to at all. I just feel like i have a big weight over me crowding out my awareness and holding me down. Also i feel complete empt & lost ,

I understand depression is a illness i always thought it was just the case of feeling down and upset i never ever thought it would be anything like im experiencing.

I honestly feel disabled like my a part of my brain isnt working.

Thanks again