New & Feeling Hopeless

[Ladyberd]

Hi all, I'm 43 and six months ago my 18 year old son was almost killed after being run over. I was on the scene early and the image of him in a semi coma and covered in blood still haunts me. He was in hospital for 14 weeks (critical care for 13 days) and has been left with a severe brain injury. He's a home with me and doing quite well, but the trauma and responsibility of it all has suddenly caught up with me and I feel awful, crying all the time, horrible anxiety attacks and flashbacks.
I've seen my GP, she's referred me for counselling and gave me sertraline, which I had a horrible reaction to, so I've got to go back and see again tomorrow. I've also got diazepam as a back up.
The worst thing is not being able to sleep, I fall asleep for a short time but wake up with my heart pounding and racing. The only way I get sleep is if I take Zopiclone 7.5mg, but I don't want to keep taking it. I've had to go back to work two days a week, but I'm struggling. It doesn't help that my son sleeps all day and is awake all night, since his injury.
Sorry for the long post, just feel at my wits end and so scared about our future. His dad isn't interested or of any support.

[SADnomore]

Hello and

Not sure if you are able to get some respite care for a day or two? When my sister was caring for her husband the doctor gave her something to help him relax at night, since this was when he would get anxious and vocal. As for you, my dear, don't worry about taking the zopiclone for now. You need your rest. Honestly, when I talked to my doctor about coming off them, he said to just stick with the meds I'm taking for my depression and he is not the least bit worried about me staying on the zopiclone for the time being. You'll cross that bridge when you come to it, and it won't be too bad, there are ways. Better to stick with that and try to limit the use of the diazapam.

Meanwhile, are you sure what you had was a "reaction' to the sertraline? How long were you on it, what were your symptoms? All meds have startup side effects, which can be quite debilitating. They do pass and then the med starts to work like it's supposed to. If your doctor wants you to try meds again, do try to stick out the side effects to see, hunni. A beta blocker (prescribed) could help with physical symptoms meanwhile.

Has there not been an insurance settlement yet? Have you consulted a lawyer, sometimes they offer a free 1/2 hour consultation. Yes they take a big fee out of any settlement, but if you ask around you may find one that is workable. Is there a possiblity of getting in a care giver so you can work more, if you want and need to? Here in Canada the 'homemakers' come by and do personal care and will stay for a number of hours as well. For a set number of weeks it is covered by provincial health care dollars, and after that a doctor's letter can get further time at a reduced rate under disability. If your doctor can put you in touch with a social worker, or the organization for visiting care givers, they can help you sort out how to manage your future. It'll be okay, I promise. Hang in there, and keep calm. Try to be open-minded about different suggestions and help being offered. Reserve the right to have a think about any proposals, and talk them over with someone you trust before making any decisions, okay? Anyone you speak with should be agreeable to you taking a day to think things over and ask questions.

I'm very glad you've found us! We are in your corner and lots of us have all kinds of ideas, and you'll always find an ear here.

Marie

[Deepthinker]

Welcome, Ladyberd! So sorry about what you are going through. You and your family will be in my prayers. I think Marie gave you such good advice there is not much more I could add. Like her, I am so glad you found this site. Remain hopeful and keep us posted and remember you are never alone! (Hugs)

[Ladyberd]

Thank you for your replies, they are really appreciated. I had a better night last night, without Zopiclone. I took 300mg of magnesium and listened to a white noise CD for an hour, which really helped. I took one tablet of sertraline and my heart rate went rocketing up and didn't calm down for hours it was really scary, I rang the pharmacist and he said not to take any more and to see my GP on Monday. My son doesn't need any physical help with personal care, he has short term memory problems and some cognitive difficulties. His personality is completely intact which is a massive relief. He has a support worker for a few hours whilst I'm at work and they go for walks and do some cognitive stuff. We do have a brain injury specialist lawyer looking into our case. My GP thinks I have PTSD, which hopefully counselling will help. Thanks again for your messages.x

[SADnomore]

This all sounds good, hunni! So glad things were not so bad for your son as they might have been, as you say, a big relief. Naturally you're going to have some wobbles until everything falls into place, so do make use of the counseling the good doctor has proposed, and all the best to you on that score too. Your lawyer sounds perfect, and you really have done amazingly well to look after your future now, so try not to worry about that.

Glad you are making use of white noise and magnesium for sleep, and I'm sure your doctor will have set you up with another med to try by the time you read this! Do you have any chamomile tea? It comes in some delicious flavours now, and I will sometimes make it double-strong for a calming influence
Let us know how it is going! xx
Marie

[Ladyberd]

Thank you Marie. GP has given me citalopram, which I've had in the past. I'm glad I found this site, it helps just to know you're not alone. I will look into the chamomile tea. xx

[OCD-Greyback]

Greetings and such Miss.

I wish to state factual apologies for your suffering under the factual weight of your conditions without assistance from your stated spouse. They clearly state their unworthiness of the DPG and lady you are. The fact of a bond is stated to include factual support from one to the other within stated bond, however stated partner clearly states he is factually unworthy.

If not for my best friend, I would factually be lost regardless of the factual intrusive thoughts and such. She is not factually to blame, nor does she inflict any fact of negativity upon myself, however my OCD and such factually attempts to imply such negativity to herself. She is aware of all my factual errors, mistakes, factual intrusive, stray and random factual thoughts and she has never judged, rebuked, belittled or factually acted with negativity towards myself, and she is factually aware I do not blame herself or actually think stated factual intrusive thoughts.

My factual worry is not through any fault of her own, simply she is the object of my stated intrusive thought's obsession. I wish her only perfection, just as she is utter perfection, completely beautiful and more facts than any language within this planetary sphere can state and such.

I also wish to convey factual apologies for the near tragic fact of your offspring and stated accident.

I have no factual doubt that both yourself and your offspring in question will progress and accomplish all facts before yourself. You should factually possess pride within yourself Miss for all the facts accomplished by your stated self daily, as those whom are aware of yourself also factually possess towards yourself and such.

If you require a factual friend or someone to listen to yourself, and other DPGs and ladies like yourself and Miss SAD are not available, I am as per the usual glad to be of factual assistance and use to yourself, as I am with all DPGs and ladies like your stated self if no one factually more suitable can be located and such.

Best of factual wishes to yourself Miss Ladyberd and yourself also Miss SAD.

[Ladyberd]

Thank you for your kind words Greyback.

[hanshan]

Hi Ladyberd,

Mirtazapine is an AD which is good for sleep. If your current drug regime isn't fully working for you, you may want to try it.

Like all ADs, there are side effects like sleepiness (usually transient), and a tendency to gain weight.

Nevertheless, I take it and feel it's beneficial for me.

[positive1]

As Winston Churchill once said "When you're going through hell, keep going" there is an end to this. You've suffered a huge trauma and I'm not surprised you feel terrible. By visiting your GP and accepting counselling you're taking steps to make yourself feel better. This is brave, well done. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, find a counsellor that works for you and it will come together, x