Floating

[ForeverTrying]

I have just finished reading the book 'Self Help for your Nerves' which was recommended on this forum and so much of what Claire Weekes has written makes so much sense.

A couple of things confuse me though; when she mentions 'floating', I try to imagine how I can do that outside and not feel anxious. I went out shopping yesterday with my sister and my head was pounding the whole time, I kept trying to visualise 'floating' but I couldn't seem to get into a pattern of working out what I needed to do. She also mentions accepting the feelings you have inside instead of trying to fight them all the time; does this mean when my stomach is churning, just sit there and accept that my stomach is churning and not try to relax?

I am going to read the book again as I was anxious even when reading it so I didn't take everything in but I go through phases of thinking 'I will overcome this' to thinking 'I am never going to get better'. I am sure this is something everyone goes through. I know that I am not going to get well overnight but I have been feeling like this for 5 weeks now and every day fills me with dread.

I have an appointment on Tuesday with someone from the Community Mental Health Team, my GP referred me, and I know I am counting the days down to the appointment because I am thinking 'this is the person who is going to help me get well'. I do live a very stressful life but I want to be at the stage where I accept the stress we live with as a family but I am not constantly agitated the whole time and hiding away at home because going out is so difficult.

I am not sure if this post makes sense; thanks for reading. x

[inCOGnito]

Floating = relaxing the muscles and mind as much as possible. It's the opposite of tensing and mentally stressing as you do an activity. So imagine someone's just poured cold water over you. You will be stiff and rigid. Now imagine being a blade of grass in wind. You're not tense or fighting against the wind. You let go and flow with it, rather than against it. Floating is like this. It's a letting go of mind and body tension and going with the situation. The point of floating is you do it IN anxious situations.

Acceptance is saying ok. Ok this is how I feel, these feelings are present, I', not going to fight them or wish them away. I'm going to accept that these things are symptoms of anxiety and nothing sinister. I accept their presence in the body. At this point the tendency is to wait for them to go away or disappear. They may not. If you are doing it to make them go away then that is not accepting them is it? Can't fool yourself.

[ForeverTrying]

Thanks incognito, your explanations make a lot of sense. :-)

My mind plays tricks on me because I keep saying to myself 'I will get well, it will take time but I will get well' and then on days like today I feel teary and feel I will never get better.

I don't work but I am a full time carer of my two children, both of whom are disabled, and I want to be well and feel well for them because they need me to be well and happy. Waking up every morning is such hard work; I am fortunate that I am sleeping okay but as soon as I wake my stomach starts churning.

As I said in my earlier post, so much of what Claire Weekes wrote in her book make so much sense; keeping occupied etc. so I force myself to go shopping to keep occupied but when I am there, I am so desperate to get home.

I just have to be patient and realise that there is no quick fix. I suffer from anxiety every year, normally it lasts for a few weeks and once my meds are adjusted or changed then I get back on my feet. This time it has lasted longer and my GP feels I need help with the anxiety as opposed to a change in medication.

It's been good to read so many of the posts on this forum as I realise I am not the only person going through this; I am thankful I found this website. x

[Angelika]

Yeah. It's hard to 'float' when you feel tense as piano wire! What she means is that what we do most of the time - tensely hold ourselves, watching every feeling, longing for it to stop, try to reason and argue with ourselves, is actually what makes it all worse. First thing is to Face - This is me right now. I know all about this. It can't harm me, it's just unpleasant. Then Accept - yes it's horrible and I want it to end more than anything, but right now, my body is creating lots of horrible symptoms and my mind is on overdrive. Then Float - I am going out (for eg, or whatever) yes, my stomach is churning, I'm on the verge of a panic, I can't eat, but instead of going out tensed and fighting, I will go out in acceptance. Churn away, stomach, I know what you are. I shall imagine I am 'floating' through it all, accepting it's how things are right now, instead of fighting and fretting as usual.

I think we hope this will instantly remove all the nasty feelings or 'it's not working!' but with all anxiety things, it takes time to become a better way, and time for it to begin to work better for us.

[blueangel]

Yep - one of the key things about acceptance is giving ourselves permission to accept anxiety. We are hardwired to think that we must constantly fight it, but that's the one thing that makes it carry on happening.

If we give ourselves permission to accept anxiety, it doesn't mean that we are being weak - as the automatic reaction to the thought of acceptance is "What? Give in??". but that's OK, as if we accept it, that is the thing that makes it less important in our minds.

[ForeverTrying]

Thank you so much Angelika and blueangel; your explanations of floating make a lot of sense. Rather than fight the feelings of anxiety, I have to accept them and realise they are not going to do me any harm. :-) xx