really flat unmotivated and foggy

[Sober2000june]

I feel like I am starting to struggle again. Just so tired , apathetic and low. Just bought a home I would never have dreamed of whilst growing up and I feel no excitement about it whatsoever. Is this as good as it gets?
Sorry for the poor me just need to vent this frustration.

Id appreciate a little encouragement at the mo.
Take care my fellow travellers,

Paul

[weplant]

I am sorry you are feeling low , Paul..You are always such a encouragement to me..What I am learning is that this is not a straight road (the road to improvement)..We tend to slide backwards and don't know why, so you are probobly sliding down the hill just a bit..You are determined so I know you will turn it around and will be feeling better again soon. I've been in the same boat, feel like I am more anxious again and not seeing anymore improvement..But I will not give up..I have a wedding to go to this weekend, my best friend, actually she is like a sister is getting remarried. I need to be there and want to be there but I am in such a state of panic...So, taking lots lorezapam with me. I will be sending you good thoughts..debbie

[SADnomore]

Hi, Paul, (bit of a read here, may make you sorry you asked, lol!)

Forgive my memory, I know you recently did a change in dosage of your cit, but can't remember if you are on any other meds as well right now? Maybe once you are stable on cit, you could talk to your doc about some kind of add-on for a little more energy. But if you're foggy atm, that may be a function of your recent increase too.

If it helps, I am the same way but getting better! My gosh, believe it or not, my hubby and I have been a number of beautiful winter vacays to the tropics, and honestly, as awful as it is to admit it, I haven't been excited about them for years. Felt flat and even a bit reluctant when packing. Have had to really put one foot in front of the other to get on the plane. Once there it's been a relief to escape the bitter cold, of course. I look around me and am somewhat interested in my new surroundings, (mostly about getting my bearings), and content to a point, to be there. Nothing like I should feel, or used to feel, going on a long-awaited trip, which are always an extravagance for us.

I really believe it's been my depression. I'm not an ungrateful, spoiled cow, I used to get all excited and happy, 10 years ago, but just not the past few winters, is all. I have been on meds finally, three plus months now, and just now had a chance to find my old anticipation returning. We bought a house in a warmer part of the country last fall, and after making plans to join family there later this month, I let it register with myself that this amazing "gift" is really ours, and found myself picturing us all there enjoying it, and felt just a bit of excitement again. And gratefulness for it. I don't know if it's the add-on medication I started recently or what (it's only been a week though, but who knows).

But what I'm saying is I think you should take heart, Paul. I too have felt flat, unmotivated and not wanting to participate for years (and that was at the best of times), withdrawing and emotionally fragile and completely without joy or appreciation of life. Day in, day out. Now I can feel the tide turning, and I realize that my serotonin etc must have been really very low and it is going to take time to get back to normal. But the process has started. Remember that the way the system works there is a "stall" between when the medication starts working, and when we start producing more serotonin. This is probably where you are at right now. Many people experience it as a big spike in anxiety. I have heard on here a lot that it can be expected to happen with any increase in our meds as well. In any case, it won't be for too much longer. Hang in there. Lots of us are in the same boat but try to watch for any spark of interest or hope you feel and encourage it when it occurs.
Marie

[Sober2000june]

Marie,

that was such an inspirational post

Debbie, thank you for your support