Scared of Thunder and Lightning!

[Carnation]

Hi Everyone,

Sounds pathetic, but I am really scared of Thunder and Lightning. To make it worse, I check out the Forecast to find out when it is coming. I can't sleep at night and I normally go and hide where I can't see a window and just sit and fret. Anyone got any tips to get through this?

[Annie0904]

I haven't really got any tips but there are many with the same phobia. Others love it and want to watch it . Just plug some music into your ears to drown at the sound and keep busy with something to distract you from it.

[eve22]

I am scared of it to, also heavy rain, i go into a panic when it storms...
I will have to take a pill for anxiety to relax me!!

[venusbluejeans]

In the Day time I love to sit watching it........at night, I hate it!!

[Tessar]

It isn't pathetic at all carnation and don't use negative words like that about yourself.

Please Be kind to yourself.

I am the same. No matter what I try, I am scared of thunder and lightning too. We had a storm here this morning, I was "home alone". My partner was out shopping. I survived as luckily the storm was short lived.

I was worse when I lived alone. I would make certain I was in bed before the "thunder" was going to arrive. And yes I always checked out the forecast.

In some respects.... That isn't a bad thing, better to be prepared.

I suppose on the other hand perhaps it is not so good in so much that checking the forecast is helping to reinforce the fear.

I have improved on how scared I used to be. One way I have overcome it is literally to expose myself to it. Of course I don't mean so that I am in danger. I mean I will watch from a safe distance. But I will watch. The crazy thing is on the plus side it can be very exhilarating too. So it's a double-edged thing for me.

I have had some scary episodes that required me to be exceptionally brave. Some might say I wasn't that brave but in my book, if something scares you and you cope with it.... That is brave.

This is why I say not to label yourself negatively.

Imagine that you are a small child. Your inner child indeed. The little person who exists inside you and needs comfort when you are scared. Would you scold a small child for being scared of a loud noise and bright flash that comes out of the blue? I doubt that very much.

I think in the end I had to learn to be strong for myself. And indeed sometimes to be strong or brave for others. One time I was heading home from work in the car. it got darker and darker and I just "knew" it was about to thunder. As I waited at some traffic lights.... It began. But instead of feeling scared, I considered that our cat was at home on her own, I knew she was equally scared so I was able to park my car and walk up the road .... Instead of focusing on my fear, I focused on my cat instead. it helped alot. When I walked in, instead of transmitting more fear to her, I was calm and loving towards her. I spoke softly to calm her. I think it had the same affect on me.

Sometimes it's doing simple things that make a big difference.

Don't ever feel self-conscious about your fear. sensitive, kind people will help you if they know. At work I have had mixed reactions. One colleague reacted as if to say "don't be ridiculous". I told her.... "I can't help being scared of it, and I won't apologise to her or anyone for it. It is how I am". She shut up.

The other night my boss stayed at the office til I was ready to leave. She knew I was scared as there was a storm & said she'd hang around til I am done. So yes, you can get mixed reactions from people but I am not worried about admitting it. At least some people will offer you comfort, like my boss did. This has reminded me of a previous boss I had. He came running across the car park at the office as there was a sudden clap of thunder. He wanted to check I was ok. I was very impressed as I didn't think he cared.

I would suggest gradually weaning yourself off the coping methods and returning to a more balanced way of being. It is a rational fear in the sense that of course lightning is a scary, damaging thing. But at the same time, storms are not that common. Indeed today and yesterday evening they forecast much worse westher than we had. You can become more at ease about it. It is possible to rebalance your fear so that you are able to sleep properly.

I wonder, if you dont mind me asking, is this every night or only when the forecast suggests storms are about? Regardless, I still feel it's possible for you to improve about this,

So..... Carnation, I am hoping I am able to offer you some comfort :-)

[Carnation]

Hi Tessar,

Thank you so much for taking the time to give me good and kind advice about my phobia. I've always had this, but it seems to have grown worse as I get older. Its not every night I fear, but when I know its coming.
If I happen to be out when there is a storm, I run into a shop or when I used to drive, I wouldn't feel so bad, because I know about the protection from the tyres? Whether that's true or not, I don't know, but it calms me.
I also have a cat and I do exactly what you do , if I am at home, I comfort him, which then comforts me. It does actually work.

It sounds silly, but I actually think it is going to kill me and as I already have electric zaps going on in my head, I think the electrical connection is going to be horrendous. I know, I am exaggerating now, but I am very good at that with this Anxiety Disorder.

I have other phobias as well, but some I have overcome: Spiders, Mice and Rats and Lifts, but still scared of Bees, Wasps and Water. (Not the stuff you wash in but the stuff you can drown in, which includes Tunnels as well.

I had no idea, obviously, that you had written a book, I would be very interested to know what it is if you could let me know by private message or public depending on how you feel or whether it is allowed here.

I am relatively new on this Site and not at total grips on how things work here, but at the same time, I seem to be online nearly everyday and posting quite a bit. If only I had joined years ago before I got really bad, which was about 4 months ago now. I would have noticed the signs much earlier and maybe not got to the point where I had completely broken down. I seem to be rambling on a bit here, but I think I have finished now.

[Tessar]

Hi Carnation; it's my pleasure to take the time & provide advice. I could really feel your fear and relate to it.
Many times I lay in bed & was fearful that if my arms were sticking out, the lightning would come and get me. Many a stormy night I would lie nor the covers sweating because I was so hot... But scared to "come up for air" in case "it got me".
I'm glad Its not every night But u sound just the same as i used to be when I knew it was coming. The trouble is though that sometimes they say it's coming and it doesn't. So all tht worry and the tiredness from a lack of sleep would be for no gain. Not that there is any gain even if the thunder does come of course.
One night I was just leaving the family home to drive 2miles to my place & I saw a fork of lightning as I went out if the door. I made my mother come and stay the night! Didnt want to be on my own.
I am better than I was then, living alone I had to become stronger. I had to support myself.
I think there's no problem with going to bed early if they say there will be a storm. But do go to bed as normal. I used to hope I'd be asleep before it arrived. At least being in the safe surroundings of bed is comforting.
I'd suggest sticking to your normal routine even if a storm is predicted. As I say by all means go to bed earlier than normal (I liked to be there before dark).
I was bright up in a long & narrow house. I hated being last to bed. It meant walking (more like running) up the stairs with a dark corridor behind me.
Never liked that, felt like there was something there or that I'd see a flash.
That fear hasn't left me. It spooks me if anything flashes. Probably always will....but the difference I suppose is I rationalise the fear now. I understand it relates to fears in my childhood.
In that dark, long, narrow house I was scared if thunder started, I can remember feeling my spray along the corridor to my parents room, I didn't know whether to cover my eyes or ears, couldn't do both of course.....
I accept now that the fear does live inside me. But I can comfort myself. I have Been home along with some big storms. I survived. They don't last that long and yes they are scary but they can be survived.
I have taken shelter in shops. Once I had to endure a storm on a hill by standing in a glass bus shelter. Didnt like that but again I survived.

What u said about a car being a safe place is true. The tyres insulate the car.
It doesnt sound silly to me. lightning is powerful. i think it is rational to fear something powerful. but it is rare for people to be harmed. i dont know the statistics but if u are reasonably careful then it is ok. That is my belief.

I have a Spider phobia. that has got worse again. I did do some exposure work. I even managed to look at one in a plastic container but now I am not so good, not sure why. I can feel my scalp crawling typing this! I was about to do hypnotherapy. But then I suffered a bereavement & didn't get to do it, but I am thinking I should try it some time.

I am really glad u found this site, carnation. There will be many like minded people. Some with similar experiences or fears. Also you will be able to help other people too which will ease your own stresses & anxieties as you realise how rewarding it is to be able to help others.

I like listening to your rambles :-) I look forward to reading some more.

[Carnation]

Hi Tessar,

I can deal with little and medium sized Spiders. I tell myself that they won't harm me and they deal with all those nasty insects that can harm us.
I used to scream, jump on a chair/sofa and freeze. The moment I looked away, it had disappeared and never to be seen again. I've even kept awake all night waiting for it to reappear. I now think my sleep is more important and I try to remove them with a glass and stiff piece of card and take it out into the Wilds. Sorry, if this is making you feel bad, not my intention, just wanted to let you know it can be done and the first is the most difficult.

Another one of my phobias are Clowns and Dolls. Hate them. Think they will come to life in the middle of the night and strangle me to death. Watched to many Horror Movies when I was young. It was the era of Horror and Ghost Movies. They make me cringe, the Dollies stary eyes and the Clowns superficial smile. Maybe if we were brought up to deal with all this stuff as children, we wouldn't have so many problems later in Life?

Its weird that we feel this way about certain things. I don't have a problem with Heights or flying or the sight of blood, but the other things, I just can't bear it! Thunder & Lightning my biggest one, but I will take all on board next time round and see how I get on.

[aprilmoon]

Everyone's scared of something Carnation,so don't worry.
I've been in a tent when its thunder and lightening,and it was actually hilarious, because we were in the biggest tent,and everyone in our party ended up running across the field,leaving theirs and we all ended up squeezed in ours!
The kids still talk about it now

[Carnation]

That actually sounds exciting in a strange sort of way?

I think I was stressing with the forecast last night and waited anxiously for 1am, when the storm was predicted and nothing happened, so I went to bed and hoped I would fall asleep straight away, which I did. I didn't wake in the night and when I looked out of the window and saw the rain in the morning, I was really pleased I got through it.

I stress out about flood warnings as well. I used to live in-between a River and the Sea. One day there was a high alert flood warning. It was a high-tide and a sea surge. I was absolutely petrified and I dressed up in what looked like combat gear finished off with wellies. I stayed up all night and nothing happened. It doesn't make it any easier when you can't swim!

And its not just me I fret about, I want to save the world, I was going around neighbours houses with sandbags and waking everyone up in the night to see if they were ok. I just Worry, Worry Worry!