1st step to move forward

[jefferina]

I have social anxiety and have been struggling for a few years now.... On Wednesday I have invited a friend round for coffee to meet my 3month old baby girl.... I'm nervous but feel I really must start facing this head on I can't keep isolating myself it's obviously not helping me as I still haven't moved forward so I have to make a change .... If you always do what you've always done you will always get what your always got..... So suppose I'm writing on here for a bit of encouragement... She is meeting me at my mums as I feel more comfortable there.... Just hope I will go through with it now ...

[Oosh]

Enjoy the company !
Godddd, where's she been, what's she been doing ???? Who is she now, what's she been through ??? "She sounds like me in a lot of ways or NOT like me and that's really interesting !"

I bet when she goes and you feel you're on your own again you'll immediately miss her !

Things turn on inside you when in someone else's company, those bits of you don't work when alone. I've no doubt you'll find it stimulating and you'll probably feel alive for the first time in ages.

And lots of fear of these situations will fall away too as you deal with the reality and see she's just a flawed, funny human being just like you.

You're gonna miss her. Make it a regular thing !

[aprilmoon]

Hi
That's great you've made the first step.
Just wish I was coming to give her a cuddle!
The baby will be the focus here and an ideal object for everyone's attention,so chatting should be easier than if you were just sitting there
Its good its at your mums too as you have her support as well.
My babies are now all grown up but I remember when they were smaller I made some really good friends,some of which I still keep in touch with.
Its lovely for your little girl that you're starting to do this,and you can build on it as she gets bigger and makes her own little friends
Parenting is hard,and its good to share things with other mums,you can support each other.I've sat with other mums crying over a cup of tea many times,everyone has their hard days.I'm sure you'll make someone a lovely friend.
I hope you have a good day

[jefferina]

Thank you so much for your replys both very encouraging... Aprilmoon you are right parenting is hard and reading it from someone else does make me feel better well normal whatever that may be...thanks to you both means a lot xx

[Anna C]

Well done for inviting your friend round in the first place - I know what a big step it can be to make changes.
I hope you don't cancel and that you have a lovely catch up with your friend!

[flossie]

Congratulations on the arrival of your daughter.
Well done for taking the first step toward facing your difficulties with being in social situations. A good friend can be invaluable with helping you. Does she know how difficult you are finding being with others is for you right now? If she is someone you trust then tell her how things are. If she offers to help then accept it.
Have fun today.

[jefferina]

Well I thought I'd update you on my day.... Ididnt cancel I did see my friend BUT it didn't go great.... The dreaded anxiety took over and I went blotchy red and cried... BUT on the plus side she did understand.. I'm suffering post natal depression too and she had that so knows what it's like.. Also without me saying anything she said right I will see you same time next wk and suggested we try and go out for a coffee???? I said I will be like this (meaning the state I was in) and she said well we will sit at the back... Then she said we could build up to a meal..... So I have mixed emotions on one hand I'm utterly embarrassed and fed up it happened but then maybe just maybe it happened for a reason... Maybe she has come into my life to help maybe this is what I need... It's going to be a tough journey one of which I may just share on here??? I'm not feeling the best now but suppose I have to start somewhere... Thanks for the replys xxx

---------- Post added at 16:53 ---------- Previous post was at 16:49 ----------

Flossie i did tell her about how I find it difficult and I think it was the right thing to do... Well I hope so... Very funny you should write that message cuz she did offer me help and I'm going to try and accept it... Thanks for replying to me xx

[Oosh]

She is EXACTLY what you need. Someone to help and proof that there's loads of good people out there. I think it went perfectly !

[jefferina]

Thanks oosh maybe your right.... Got to give it a go anyway xx

[flossie]

Well done for going through with meeting your friend. You should be proud of yourself.
Remember that you are in charge of your recovery. If you feel that going into a cafe for coffee is too much then be open with her. Suggest you would prefer going for a walk, sitting in the park or maybe sit outside the cafe. Go with what you feel comfortable with. Take things gently.