Irrational HIV fear?

[akh92]

Hi all. Just over a week ago, I went to Planned Parenthood to get a rapid HIV test to put my mind at ease over HIV anxiety I was having. I went in and they did a finger-stick to get blood and perform the test. 20 minutes later I got the results that said I was negative. I was elated, but as I was driving home I got the idea in my head that the nurse might have re-used the finger-prick needle or device that was used on someone else and given me HIV. I have been experiencing anxiety over this for over a week and just want to be able to relax. I am in a committed relationship and have never done drugs. I can't get the idea out of my mind that the finger prick needle could have been accidentally reused on me. I am beating myself up over going in the first place and for not paying more careful attention as to where the finger prick pen device she used came from (if it was new or not). Please help!

[ItchyOne]

There are strict rules in clinics not to reuse needles, and especially used for the purpose of checking for infectious diseases.
Having said that, I too had the exact same irrational HIV fear ! But as you said , it is irrational. I hope you will get over it soon.

[akh92]

I keep thinking that because my finger had a small cut on it instead of a tiny dot, and took a week to heal, that the needle must have been dull or reused. To this day even though it has healed up, it still has an odd sensation. Everyone keeps telling me im fine, but all I can think of is how I destroyed my life and will end up getting HIV

---------- Post added at 03:33 ---------- Previous post was at 03:32 ----------

How did you overcome this fear? I am scared to eve engage in sexual activities with my boyfriend because I am scared I will give him HIV

[ItchyOne]

The prick on my finger also took days to heal, and even then I still had that numb feeling for several days more.

Quick frankly, I was also scared to engage in sexual activities as I had the same fear that I would passed on something to my loved one. It took me quite a while but eventually I convinced myself that my fear was irrational. I did make sure that my annual medical checkup (which happened a few months after the initial finger prick test) include a HIV test, and this time I'm sure the needle is new and fresh. So now I know once and for all that I'm HIV free. And I am confident that I will remain clean.

[akh92]

That makes me feel a little bit better that your finger felt the same way. I do not have any doctors appointments coming up in the near future. Do you think that I have any reason to go back to the Planned Parenthood after 3 months to get another HIV test? Or should I just drop the entire thing completely and forget about it?

[ItchyOne]

I suppose I'm not in a position to give medical advice... for me, I did not go back to get another HIV test after 3 months, but I did make sure that my following annual medical checkup include this test just so I'm sure.

[akh92]

I feel like such a freak. Most normal people would go and not give a single thought about any of this. They would see their negative result and be happy and go about their lives in relief. Meanwhile, im coming up with ideas and possibilities of the nurse accidentally using a reused finger prick needle on me.
I just wish that I wasnt like this. Its depressing and tiring constantly worrying and googling and asking people for reassurance. I will be calm for a little and then the next day it all just starts up again. I even called the Planned Parenthood and they said that all of their needles are used once and disposed of immediately. But in my head I think of that accidental instance when it couldve been reused. Its a vicious cycle and I just wish it would stop

[Fishmanpa]

You had to have seen the nurse take the "sterile" package, tear it open and use it. It's not like she went into some dark, dank back room full of ill drug users having a wild sex orgy and came out with an unwrapped dirty needle that everyone was using.

I had blood taken yesterday. The nurse put on gloves, rubbed alcohol on the area, tore open a new needle from a sterile package and did the procedure. The same precautions were taken for your finger prick. It's common procedure in any medical testing facility. That's also why you see them dispose of the used device in a locked box marked specifically for that.

As your title states, the fear is "irrational". You "know" deep down the scenario you're fearing didn't happen. Use the same self talk and switch it to the literally hundreds of positive reasons why you can't get HIV from a dirty needle finger prick and eliminate the one impossible reason that plaques you.

Positive thoughts

[akh92]

But I didn't see her open the finger prick needle or trow it away. I simply wasn't playing attention which is why I'm so mad at myself. I think she had it ready when I came in, or I either just didn't see. I guess I just trusted she knew what she was doing :/ And now Im a nervous wreck for not remembering or paying closer attention. I have never been to a Planned Parenthood before so I dont know what goes on there. Now I am panicking over whether I need to wait 3 months and go get retested.

[Fishmanpa]

Planned Parenthood has been around for over 100 years and operates on a global scale. If you can't manage some form of logic in this scenario, I don't what anyone can say that will put your mind at ease

Positive thoughts