Weird weird feeling - help!!

[Fj2014]

Heyyy,

My health anxiety came on when I was having stomach pains shortly after moving to London away from friends and family for a new job (I think this caused a lot of underlying stress!!)
I started having stabbing pains in my side and was convinced I had bowel cancer - I went to my GP who tested for a UTI and prescribed anti-biotics but then I felt worse, had a lump under my arm and took myself to urgent care.
A lovely doc examined my breasts and tummy, took a urine sample and bloods and confirmed my UTI and gave more antibiotics which I finished on Monday.
Since then I've been having episodes where I wake up in the night swaety, shaking, screaming and check myself for symptoms - last night was the first night I slept through in ages.
Yesterday I had terrible back, stomach and side pains which made me think the UTI had not gone/had spread to my kidneys.
Today I feel okay, I think the infection may be going but now I'm very aware that my right side - where most of the pain was - is painless - it feels numb almost and I'm worried a tumour is in there supressing my organs.
Is it normal to feel like this?? I almost feel calm but at the same time I don't want to 'tempt fate' - for two weeks I have had images of the doctor saying 'it's not good, you have cancer' - it just doesn't feel right to feel 'better'.

Has anyone else had a similar experience??

[TheHusband]

It all sounds pretty normal. I fear the anxiety has created a habit regarding the 'checking', and this has got so bad that you're dreaming about it and conscious of it the very second you awake.

The screaming is nasty. My wife had the "wake in the night desperately checking to see if OK" and sweated terribly but she didn't scream. It ruined her sleep though, which made her tired, which made her less able to cope with worries and problems....a vicious circle. She falls asleep to kids stories on the iPod now.

Ignore the numb feeling. You're not some super genius who is capable of feeling a tumour by magic.

The doctor is in charge of what you do regarding the lump/antibiotics and you must trust what they say.

I'm afraid that extreme worry, in some people, can cause stomach aches which might feel (to you) like something dreadful. As an IBS sufferer myself, I know those can feel very vicious, and vary with stress levels. If you were only able to calm yourself, you'd find many of these pains would go away. I know its difficult; most people find they need the help of seratonin tablets to help them cope with daily life, before they have the mental strength to undertake the CBT which can help them gradually.

Describe to your doctor the level of worry you have, and how it impacts your daily life (including the sleeping). Anxiety isn't just someone "being silly", it is recognised on the NHS, and you will get some help.

[Fj2014]

Thanks so much for your reply!!
Is your wife getting any better?
I went to a&e for the last time (promise!) yesterday and bloods, examination and urine tests all came back perfect - a real reality check!
And I'm going to see my gp about my anxiety on Thursday!
I had my first proper nights sleep in ages last night and feel loads better for it.
It's time to face the real issue here - anxiety - and start to get my new life back on track!!

[Neon]

I'm currently recovering from a kidney infection and the antibiotics I took really knocked it out of me and my insides hurt for some time after. I actually got gastritis (stomach inflammation) because the antibiotics were so harsh so I'm really not surprised you felt sore. I empathise with how frustrating it is to jump to immediately the worse conclusions. My cancer of choice was cancer of the pancreas. I didn't even know that existed! So for me I think ignorance is bliss. I'm not tempting fate because I've come to the conclusion that if it's really that serious there's not much they can do anyway and if it's not that serious there's a chance my body can heal itself. If not then I'll probably get more consistent, regular symptoms in time which I can then describe clearly to a GP and get help. ATM I just feel in limbo, like I'm not sure what's going on, and that to me screams anxiety/paranoia rather then a genuine illness. That's just me though. Hope you feel calm soon xx

[Fj2014]

Hey neon!

Thanks so much for your reply - it makes so much sense to me, especially saying you feel in limbo with not knowing what's real and what's paranoia!
I feel exactly the same and think I need to adopt your smart thinking !

Thanks again for your help xx

[Neon]

You're welcome. I did consider the idea of keeping a symptom diary but that felt like I was encouraging myself to look for symptoms rather then give myself the opportunity to switch off. So now I'm just going with the idea that, yes, I'm having a strange symptom but if I forget about it after a day or two or it's intermittent then I can cautiously put it in the False category. I can't deal with the vagueness anymore. Anything that is constant, debilitating, clear and regular I can seek further advice on because then at least I can say categorically my eye IS infected or I AM constipated. ATM I'm 'sick' and everything is changing every day. One minute my kidneys hurt, then my head, then my stomach. It's all over the place. That CANT be normal, it must be psychosomatic. It's difficult being strict but I feel being logical about it is my only hope. Good health to you