Anxiety turning into depression now

[Humly]

I dont know whether I am just going through a blip but I feel as if I am suffering from depression now as a result of being anxious about different health worries and just stressing about everything in general. I have been sitting here since 6 am crying. I have been feeling quite low for a few weeks then all the issues with my mouth ulcers/lichen planus have cropped up and made me worse (read my health anxiety stuff). I have been thinking lately that I wouldnt mind if I just went to sleep and didnt wake up then all this sadness would be over. Wouldnt it be lovely just to be able to not worry about everything. I would never do anything to myself and I am not threatening to do so or just saying this for attention but that in itself is telling me that I am depressed and should really do something about it. I dont really want to go on medication and I am too much of a coward to go to the doctors and admit how I am really feeling but maybe now is the time to go and talk to somebody. Please dont think that I am going to do anything stupid, I am not. I have so much going for me and would never ever do anything to hurt my children and family. Hopefully now I've got this out of my head I can start to move forward. Thanks for listening.

[Richard1960]

Sorry to hear that i got taken by an ambulance yesterday to hospital i do not think many people realise just how bad depression is.

[Carnation]

Hi Humly,

I know exactly how you feel. Going through the same thing myself. Like you, I am not on medication and suffer with Health Anxiety as well as General Anxiety. I just posted a thread myself last night and it took ages for me to pluck up the courage to do that, because I didn't want people to feel sorry for me, I just wanted a glimmer of hope to the end of this suffering. Do you have a Therapist? I find that a great help. I had to arrange my own because there was a 6 month waiting list on the NHS!
I also wondered whether I was depressed before I was struck down with Anxiety Disorder and whether that contributed to the way I feel now?
At least we know that we are not alone. I don't know what I would do without this Site. We will help each other and no doubt get there in the end.

[Humly]

Thank you both. Richard I hope you are ok and getting the help you need. Carnation I just read your other thread and it made me cry - a lot! I know just what you mean. I am not having any therapy. I have always managed in the past to pull myself around and I guess i think I can sort myself out again this time. I just feel so lonely. I cannot talk to my husband about it as he is fed up with it all after so many years of ups and downs and doesnt really want to listen to me. I dont want to worry my family and friends and quite frankly I am embarassed to admit I have a problem. I know I shouldnt feel ashamed about this but I am, suppose its the way I was brought up - we never talked openly about problems. This is the only place I can come and I am here all the time just lately x

[Carnation]

Humly, I was crying when I posted that thread, but I think it helped me to get it out.

I feel very alone too and I don't like to keep bothering the people around me with the way I feel all the time. And, like you, I could never talk about my problems and emotions when I was growing up and my Therapist said that may have had an impact on the way I feel now. She said it is good to cry and get everything out.
I don't think you have to necessarily have a Therapist, but you do need someone to talk to about this. That's why this Site is so precious to so many.

[Humly]

I totally agree. I would never have believed that there are so many people out there feeling just as I do but keeping it all hidden. Its comforting in a way but also sad x

[Humly]

I've got the classic symptoms of depression. I am up and down all day. Wake up and dont want to get out of bed, dont want to go to work but when I get there I pretend and get through it ok - I only work part time 4 hours. Then I come home again and I'm sitting here on my own crying and scared. Getting so stressed out about my sore tongue which is stupid, I know. Got no appetite and dont want to eat anything in case it irritates my ulcers and the weight is dropping off me. Anyway, thats enough of the self pitying x

[Peronel]

Hi Humly,

How have you been feeling since your last post?

You mentioned that you work part-time - do you think that you are alone with your thoughts a lot when not working? I find that makes my symptoms worse, it's the rumination and constant dwelling that turn into a vicious cycle. Distractions help for me, at least in the short term.

[MrsVyse]

I feel the same, I have so many worries I cannot even think straight. My mind is so muddled now trying to solve all these problems. I just wish someone would come and help me solve some of my problems. Most of the people in my life have no idea how low I am, and when I try to talk to them about it dont seem to notice or even think about it. I feel for you I really do. x

[Humly]

Hi Peronel and MrsVyse. I am not too bad at the moment. Just plodding along I guess but at least I dont feel like bursting into tears all the time now. I agree distraction is the thing, if you can actually focus on something and working does help to get me out and take my mind off things. However, when I am really bad nothing distracts me but I am ok for now. I wish i could just think positive about everything and I would be a different person. Thanks for asking anyway x