Hello all, I'm new here, second post (first in the introduction forum). Not sure what I am looking for other than someone listening I guess.

I have been suffereing from what I think is generalised anxiety for a few years now although my doctor reckons I have probably had it in one form or another for many years. About 3 years ago I had a Motorbike accident that layed my up for a while but after a number of months I recovered phyiscally ( still lip three years on but I can't complain, I was dead lucky). A couple of eyars after the accidnet I started having a lot of bad dreams, usually about motorbikes. I was told that it was PTSD but I was later told that I suffer from anxiety and possibly depression. Now, the lst two it seems I have suffered from for years.

You see, I am extrmely overweight, I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. For this reason I have terrible confidence problems (it's a big effort to go somewhere new but I DO make the effort at times) once I become familier with a surounding I'm generally OK. Thats why I got into motorbikes in a funny sort of way. I needed a bit of independance (I dont drive and live in London) and I wanted to go to the gym to exercise and so on, maybe lose a bit of weight and become a little happier with myself. When I had an accident that left me imbobile for 6 months, I slipped into a bit of dpression. You know how it is, try to do something positive and something negative happens, felt sorry for myself and all that. Anyhow, rambling.

Now I have pains everywhere a lot of the time. I think about my own death a lot and worry about it all the time. I had an ECG less than 6 months a ago and was told that despite my weight (I really am VERY overweight) my heart was OK and I was actually in a low risk group (not sure how that worked). that made me feel better for about 2 weeks, then the pains started again, chest pains, pains in me left arm, stomach pains the whole works. they come and go.

My last visit to the doctor was a farce really. Was given and open appoinment to get another ECG but was told that it would show nothing, that it was anxiety causing the problems. Made me feel better for about 2 days. Nothing more. I could go get an ECG and feel happier for another week or so but thats not the answer.

I need to change things. I blame everything on the fact that I am overweight yet seem unable to lose any. Worst thing is, when I mention anxiety to anyone, and I'm talking about my really close friends, they just don't understand. they try to but it's just hard to get your head around when you haven't had to put up with it I suppose. My mother suffers from MS so it's not like I am gonna tell her about it (she does OK but I would feel selfish talking about a problem like that to my mum who has her own to deal with).

So here I am. First place I talk about this is to complete strangers whome I have never met or spoken too. Funny isn't it?

Anyhow, I shall watch these forums with interest, maybe I can take some comfort or even offer advice (although at the moment, I have none to give really as yet).

thanks for listening.

Paul Leask