Good Morning. We all know the old saying, "every journey begins with one step." Well it's nice to have all the "book knowledge" about a subject, it's a totally different thing to put that knowledge into action. Kinda like when biblical Apostle Paul described himself as the "chief of sinners." Here I must confess I have trouble putting my words into action.
While everyone is guilty from time to time of not taking their own advice, for myself it cuts me deeply to think. I can say all the right words and still be derailed by the simplest things. Thankfully the compassion I'm learning to give myself does shine a light on the fact that self abuse is nothing but destructive.
Coming out of a religious background that focused more on being good instead of being forgiven. Gives you the impression the "holier" you are, the better a believer you are. So along with carrying that baggage around, coming out of a verbally abusive home, makes for a man with some real self abuse issues. Along with an overwhelming need to be in control and be perfect it everything, thus creating this perfect storm of self abuse.
I guess by now you might be asking yourselves, "okay, we get it." "Is there way out of this damning critique of one's self?" In my experience I guess to two best things you can do is learn to forgive your own imperfections. Then learn to love your imperfect self.
A good resource to read about the subject is an ebook by Kamal Ravikant titled, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It. It's nothing clinical, just Kamal's personal journey to learning to love himself. It's a quick read, to the point, imperfect, and cheap. Another thing to note is, another problem I have is internalizing my problems and disappointments. Here is where a forum like this comes in handy. It allows me to vent and get really honest about who and how I am. Listen, you may not went to login 130+ posts like I have (I can be a bit chatty). But putting your feelings on paper or screen can really help.