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Thread: Doing it By the Spoonful

  1. #21
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    May 2014
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    689

    Re: Doing it By the Spoonful

    Well for a weekend I doing pretty good. Got most of the work done for my end of course, with just half a paper left to complete. So my stress has eased.

    Another thing that has help ease my stress has been a loving book I picked up by a Buddhist monk. As I've said before, out of all the things I tried to help me ease my stress, mediation has worked the best. So this book simply reinforces the idea of living in the moment and remembering the past is the past and that the future hasn't been written.

    So for now I'm going to take a cool shower (it's a bit hot here in the South), find a quiet spot and focus on my breathing, then read. Good night.

  2. #22
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    May 2014
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    689

    Re: Doing it By the Spoonful

    I guess I should say first, that the course is over. I completed the last assignment yesterday and while I've lost some points due to my poor Math skills, I should do okay. I guess the point that should be made is that I'm getting through it.

    For whatever reason, even with the many victories I've had. When a crisis comes up, I still end up going through all the pressure and discomfort of the anxiety all over again. Even reminding myself doesn't seem to work, but thankfully, I make, maybe not as well as I would like, but I make it.

    Guess all I can do is remind myself I have a lot of work to go, and that even with the pressure that I can feel, seeing the end of the road isn't the end, but the beginning.

  3. #23
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    Jun 2014
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    72

    Re: Doing it By the Spoonful

    Very good advice here. I suffer from health anxiety and my girlfriend from social or general anxiety. I will give her the advice you mentioned.

  4. #24
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    May 2014
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    689

    Re: Doing it By the Spoonful

    Glad I can help JoeG, even though my last few post have been fairly positive. Beginning last night I've my old buddy fear & anxiety creeping up again. Had a rough night of sleep last night and ever since I logged off from class, I've mighty anxious.

    It's just one of those things you gotta work on everyday. One day you're doing pretty good, then the next, those old feels come by, like a troublemaker you really don't want to see. But you know, telling my imperfect story on this forum is just one of the tools I have to overcome this illness.

    So remember no matter how many positive things you read. You gotta always be aware that anxiety and fear are always with us. It's part of being human. But to allow them to overrun your life is quite another situation. So rather through therapy, or medication, or mindfulness, or all three, get the help you need. You don't have to face this alone.

  5. #25
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    May 2014
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    689

    Re: Doing it By the Spoonful

    Just as an open idea I'm wondering if the stress I'm feeling today has something to do with the tragic death of Robin Williams. It's not that I knew him although I was a fan. I think the point was that he used humor as a cover for the depression and low self-esteem he may have felt.

    Again, I don't claim to have any inside information, but in my own life I've used humor as an acceptance and defensive tool. So when you see someone whom you feel a kindred spirit to, I guess it affected me in some uncomfortable ways.

    Happily I do feel better after some meditation and soul searching. But I felt that by writing this down I'm giving myself some extra release. It is tragic to see someone who you feel was finally winning, find themselves lost.

    I guess the thing that can remind myself about is that by being open and keeping a line of communication at hand when I'm down. That I can keep up the good fight and remember that I am worth fighting for.

  6. #26
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    May 2014
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    689

    Re: Doing it By the Spoonful

    Had a little trouble with my stress today, but I spent a little while meditating this afternoon. So that and doing some blogging has got me feeling better.

    While I can have a number of good days in a row. My mind can dwell on this bad days when the anxiety is up. It's ironic how the anxiety can be such a drain on you, while you can go for days feeling well and never think twice about them.

    But I'm trying to accept the fact that fear is a part of me. That by embracing that part of myself, I'm saying to myself it's alright not to be perfect.

  7. #27
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    May 2014
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    689

    Re: Doing it By the Spoonful

    Once again, it's not been a good day. It started last night with not sleeping too well, then as the morning progressed I just haven't well. Which with my hyper-sensitivity to anything physical only makes anything I feel worse.

    But I've cleared my calendar for the day and have tried to simply breathe and relax. It's worked some, so I'll simply mark the day as done. Because on too many occasions I've gotten up the next day feeling fine.

    Maybe that's the crazy of all this to me. One day doing really well, the next barely getting by. But way down deep, I still got some fight left. I still realize I cannot and will not be defeated. I know it's insane, but these two sides of me battle pretty much everyday.

    If anyone has some thoughts on this , I'm more than willing to hear it.

  8. #28
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    May 2014
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    689

    Re: Doing it By the Spoonful

    Well the weekend is here and I have a little fear my weekend problem will show up yet again. If you don't know, for whatever reason weekends tend to mess with me. Rather it's done to lack of routine or what, I just have trouble with Saturday & Sunday. Another thing going on is, down here in Southern Georgia USA, it's as hot as it's been in 2 years with temps over 100 F.

    But with that bad news out of the way, I now have it set-up where I only have 4 courses left to finishing my graduate studies. Which means I should finish school in February of 2015. My problem for a year now has been losing the "fire" for attending school. But I couldn't see myself quitting with being so close to finishing. But additional classes I was assigned were a concentration in my degree field, which I haven't really used. So I shorten my program to an MBA which was a logical step, so I wouldn't have to reinvent the wheel and take additional courses to finish.

    So as I sign out to complete some homework before I melt into my laptop or vice versa, let me just say. In my situation, looking into what drives my fears, anxiety, & panic has been a great first step into learning not only who I am, but what I can be. To hopefully at some point being able to release myself from these burdens of feeling unworthy even of my own love.
    Last edited by fduop; 22-08-14 at 18:59. Reason: Poor writing skills. I'm American.

  9. #29
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    May 2014
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    689

    Re: Doing it By the Spoonful

    First off I want to thank the individuals that operate this site. I'm sure you hear this a lot, but you have been a Godsend to me as a place where I can be free to post my up's and down's with other's who know first hand what we all live with.

    That said, it appears I'm riding a good wave this week. But in a way my "mind" doesn't want to jinx it by saying anything. As much as I want to stay positive you always have that little seed in the back of your mind going, "hold on, the other shoes going to drop any minute." Well, there I said it, I've tempted fate.

    But actually what I'm believing is the more I study and grasp the content of mindfulness and being in the moment. That I am realizing those seeds of fear and anxiety that live in my mind can be comforted and loved. Because they are not the enemy they are me. I realize a lot of what I'm saying sounds so...grapenut eating, be one with nature, stop wearing deodorant...circa 1969, that it's hard to take serious. But it works for me.

    A book I have been reading on the subject is titled Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh. Of everything I've read about mindfulness, the present moment, and anxiety. For me this one has really given me comfort and direction. I enjoy the way Hanh explains things and enjoy the stories and metaphors he uses. I recommend giving it a read.

    Other than that, I have some class work to do and I'm looking forward to our little heat wave lighting up a bit the next few days. Hope each of you find peace and have a great Sunday.

  10. #30

    Re: Doing it By the Spoonful

    Hi Fduop,,
    You sum it up well and the bit about they are not the enemy they are me is a great way to look at it , just reading it gave me one more little tool to calm my own personal anxieties , so thanks for that and hope you have a peacefull Sunday too
    Cheers

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