Hi I am new to this site but I really need some advice
I am a police officer, up until 9 months ago I was a uniformed response officer.
In November 2012 I was diagnosed with ptsd following a violent incident at work which put me directly in danger of fatal if not serious injury along with the victim
I underwent 16 weeks of emdr therapy as well as antidepressants which I am still taking. After a gradual return to restricted duties I returned to my uniform role. I had two further setbacks and was referred back for a further 6 emdr sessions.
A year after the diagnosis I finally was able to return to full single crewed duties. Unfortunately within less than two days I had an accident on duty which caused a serious traumatic injury to my elbow which required surgery. I returned to work 3 months after surgery on a restricted role on the investigation team, I returned to full duties within that role despite on going injury related problems.
Six months later I have had to have further surgery due to nerve damage which if left could have resulted in the loss of use of my arm.
Since the accident last year I have had nightmares of a violent fatal nature involving me or my loved ones. I have a genuine fear of being made to return to a uniformed role, my injured arm has muscle wastage and weakness both in the arm and hand and fingers. I have a recurring fear that should I be called to deal with a violent incident I will not be able to protect myself due to the injury/weakness to my arm. This is a genuine fear and I'm suffering anxiety, insomnia, chest pains, headaches, nausea,depression and stress. I don't feel as though I am or ever will be physically,psychologically,mentally or emotionally able to return to a uniformed role.
I don't know how to deal with this with my employer. I don't know if this is ptsd returning. I don't know what to do.