Terrified of solipsism!! Please help

[nikkim]

Hey guys, I've been struggling with really bad anxiety for a while now. Usually I have really bad intrusive thoughts about having HIV, or fearing going crazy and hurting someone. But lately I fear that it's gotten to the worst one I've ever experienced. If you don't know what solipsism is please don't look it up or continue reading this post, I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone...





anyway, I just went to the doctors yesterday and was prescribed paxil. I'm hoping the medication will help we get more of a grip of myself but I'm terrified it won't and that my life is now ruined. Basically I keep thinking that I imagined my entire life. that my family and friends and everything in this universe is a figment of my imagination. I know how crazy this sounds and I'm trying to reason with myself but I can't help but feel like even past memories were just created in my mind and none of it was actually real.
I don't see how I'm ever going to recover from this considering there's no proof against this scary theory, as I can just say that I'm imagining whatever reply you guys might give me.

I'm not suicidal or anything but last night I started thinking that if I did hurt myself it wouldn't matter to anyone considering they're all made up.

I need help obviously and I'm terrified of the world and my mind and sleeping and everything you can think of.

Has anyone else experienced this and overcame it?
Thank you for reading this. I really appreciate it.
Sorry for being such a psycho

[Oosh]

Hey relax, you're real and so am I. :-)

You've gotten yourself in a bit of a mess there. Don't worry, just lots of self doubt, anxiety and lots of imagination.

I'm afraid life's much simpler than that. Just because you suggest something to yourself, it doesn't make it real. That's what you did right, suggested it to yourself ? That makes it a suggestion. A suggestion YOU had, that YOU had with YOUR imagination. So you must conclude that you must have a huge amount of doubt over something being real simply because you suggested it to yourself.

I'll suggest to myself I'm a spy from another country, bumped my head and had forgotten. What if I am ?
WHAT IF.
As soon as you see those two words, discard anything that follows. It's like the telltale footprint of anxiety and imagination. And it means you've caught it red handed.
It implies you've lost control which is the thought that triggers the panic.

Life's simpler than that.
You have an overwhelming amount of evidence for what is real around you, what it is, where it came from, right to its beginnings, back and back until it's a molecule created in this universe.
Whenever I've been freeked out by suggestions like yours I've remembered what's real about life.
We live, breathe, eat to survive, we procreate, like EVERYTHING else on this planet. There is no difference to us and the animals around us living their "blink of an eye" existences.
Life is simple.
Life on this planet has been here for a very long time and in our evolution feelings, behaviours have been built into us. Evolutionary psychology can explain most things we think and feel. And those things we think and feel all have genuine, real biological or evolutionary reasons.
A lot of it based around safety, survival, threat, procreation, acceptance by others and so on. Just like chimps living in their groups.
We have just become distanced from these very down to earth, basic, simple things.

Do you think chimps, fish, butterflies sit there wondering if their lives are a figment of their imaginations ? They're too busy surviving and thinking about
Surviving
Eating
Procreating.

Only humans could think of such a concept with their imaginations.
The threat/adrenalin part of you kicks in and a good dose of self doubt and makes you panic. But is the panic more because you fear you're losing control ?
The underlying panic in most of these suggestions for you and everyone is usually a fear of losing control.

After all, if nothing's real, what are you in control of anymore ? That's why you'll panic.

But it's not real, it's imagined, YOUR imagination, which you control, so YOU ARE IN CONTROL. Remind yourself that when it suggests these imagined concepts to you.

Don't be at the mercy of your imagination.
Imaginations have an evolutionary use for humans, no doubt problem solving or anticipating danger for eg but not for thinking up far out concepts about reality not being real. If you had wolves at your door trying to break in and eat you and your family you'd be pretty sure life was real, the wolves were real etc

I know how scary it is, I've had them too. But not anymore. I didn't do anything I just kept my feet on the ground and kept a good grasp on the realities of life.
Ie the birds and the bees. THATS real.

[nikkim]

Wow thank you so much. Everything you said is so incredibly true. Lately any time the thought pops into my head I just tell myself that it's untrue and my imagination is getting the best of me. This has been helping quite a bit but there are times when I let myself sink too deep into thought and panic all over again. I suppose the only thing that really bothers me so much about this thought is that it almost makes life seem like it's meaningless. I mean.. If I'm the only person with the capability of thinking and everything is made up why do I bother getting ready in the morning and going to work etc. etc. then I start to feel lonely like my entire family's love for me isn't real and they're all just "fake" people.

obviously like you said I've gotten myself into a mess

After only taking the paxil for two days I've noticed after about 30 minutes passes after taking the pills my thoughts seem a lot more clear and I'm able to reason with myself and be a lot more rational.

I'm hoping as my anxiety dies down so will my constant worrying and derealization and depersonalization.

People like you are what's making me feel a lot better so I can't thank you enough for taking your time to reply to me!

I'm taking this one day at a time. I hope one day this will just be remembered as a scary time in my life that I overcame.

[inCOGnito]

solopsism is a like circular argument. If the world's made up then who's making it up. Is that person made up? Then who is the person that makes up that person? And so on. It's just another impossible riddle that the mind makes up because it's trying to protect itself from a possible threat. That is..non-existence. So if life's made up then that means I'm not really here, therefore i don't exist. so mind is scared because it has a biological drive to survive. Anything that threatens that, be it real or imagined, creates our friendly emotion, fear.

Of course, we can think of it in a different way. I am aware of the thoughts that say that everything is made up. Therefore I exist. Otherwise there would be no I to realise that it didn't exist. even denial is a proof of existence.

[nikkim]

Hey incognito!

very true but in my crazed OCD mind right now I can't seem to reason with logic. I'm slowly convincing myself I'm crazy and the world is all made up by me. How incredibly selfish of me lol

how does one convince ones self to just let something like that go. I'm scared all day everyday and I need some relief.

also I'm now afraid I'm going into psychosis considering I can't seem to get a grip on reality...