B12 deficiency after a past of genuine medical problems: Much panic - quite lost.

[Foxen]

Hello, all. I am new to this forum. 26 and living in Britain.

I developed panic attacks/health anxiety after I was very unwell with Anorexia Nervosa. I went from very obese to quite underweight in relatively short period of time and made myself very sick mentally and physically. For a short while my health was in genuine danger and I suspect that because I felt I could not trust myself to do the right thing for my health after the anorexia, I developed panic disorder, specifically around my health and food as a coping mechanism. Panic around dying spurred on my recovery.

That was two years ago, and my weight is at the higher end of healthy now. I gradually overcame panic disorder, with time and quite a lot of anxiety medication, which I am now off.

Recently, however, two things have occurred.

A couple of months ago, I became ill. I noticed really weird, almost fecal (?) bad breath, epi-gastric pain first. And then breathlessness almost all the time, dizziness, nausea, numbness in the legs, chronic constipation amongst other things and lately changes to my tongue. Preliminary blood tests indicate large red blood cells and b12 deficiency suspected, waiting to be tested for that and h-pylori. Everything is taking so long to get tested for. B12 deficiency isn't usually related to your intake but to absorption issues. My mind is constantly worrying about what might be causing it and is full of 'Cancer'? Addison's? Huge horrible ulcers stopping me absorb? Bowel Impaction? Endlessly. Panic symptoms are mixing in with original symptoms and I can't tell what is what anymore.

Around a similar time, I began restricting my intake again, leading to increased anxiety. My weight was a little overweight and I was hating myself for it. I've successfully lost some weight but the panic increased with the weightloss and my calories have been really quite low.

I think I've been to A&E about 5 times now, with chest pain and various issues. I'm never an emergency and there appears to be nothing wrong with my heart after ECGs and chest x-rays and basic bloodwork. I'm trying to get better about trusting medical professionals and finally mostly starting to believe my heart is 'okay'. I've made emergency appointments with GP's when they can't possibly have any new information for me a similar amount of times.

Checking these things helps briefly but then the fear is back. I am finding it really hard to cope, knowing there *is* something wrong but I just have to sit with it. I feel like I am driving everyone around me mad, even though they are mostly being patient with me. I've finally realised that restricting my intake while having a suspected problem can't be helping. I have had a resurgence of eating disorder behaviour and thoughts, so putting the calories up is very hard for me but I am trying. I've taken up mindfulness meditation to try and get on top of the fear. It's interesting but I tend to almost panic repeatedly while attempting to meditate. I want to get therapy, but it's taking a while to find. I feel I am going slowly crazy, I can't focus on doing anything and becoming quite depressed.

I am actually not sure what I am looking for here. I suppose: Has anyone here suffered from Pernicious Anemia/B12 deficiency? If so how bad were your symptoms and what caused this for you? I know left untreated pernicious anemia is bad and can lead to permanent problems, but in the shorter term, how serious is this?

Thank you if you read this far.

[Daisy Sue]

Hi Foxen.. I have B12 deficiency, but mine is caused by surgery many years ago, when they removed the part that absorbs B12, so no mystery re my cause. However, I do know a bit about it from other people I've met with similar digestive issues... B12 absorption can be poor due to many things, either an issue with your intestine at that point, or quick transit, like if you have IBS or diarrhea regularly. Also, you need to be intaking B12 to absorb it, so maybe have a look at your diet.

If you get the deficiency diagnosis for sure, don't worry about it... it's no big deal.. you just go for jabs every so often (I go 8 weekly, most go 3 monthly), or you can take oral supplements (jabs probably better though to ensure absorption). All those weird tingly sensations, and also dizziness (and headaches if you get them) will disappear once the B12 level is brought back up to normal.

[Catherine S]

Hi Foxen, you mentioned that you recovered from anorexia 2 years ago...well done for getting through it and all the anxiety that surrounds it, it can't have been easy, but you also say that you have started to restrict your food again, has your anorexia started up again? If so, and you're taking in very few calories this could explain why the B12 isn't being absorbed properly.

A friend of mine had pernicious anaemia diagnosed some years ago and for her it started with no energy, then utter exhaustion...the simplest things would tire her out, she'd make the bed in the morning and lay down on it to recover! She recovered quite quickly once the injections of B12 started, and was back to her normal self.

ISB x

[rachael t]

I suffer with b12 have to have injections every 3 month dont know why I suffer with it

[fedup36]

Hiya

I have a severe B12 deficiency and don't have penincios anemia.
Doctors can't figure out what caused it so just have to take tablets.
When my b12 is low I get a numb face... I also suffer with dizziness but I think this is due to anxiety... Hope that helps!

[BlueWaterGirl]

Bravo on overcoming anorexia, that's a great feat!

How has your food intake been lately? Have you been eating meat or other animal products? I ask this because sometimes vegetarians and vegans will become deficient in B12 due to not eating meat, not enough eggs, or dairy products. Even if you may not be a vegetarian or vegan, you still need to eat enough to keep your vitamins going. Since the body stores large amounts of B12, it usually takes years to develop a deficiency in it. This may have been developing during your years of anorexia and not supplying your body with enough vitamins.

Usually with any kind of anemia you will have a low red blood cell count. You said large red blood cells, was it a high count? Red blood cells and fatigue usually go hand in hand, if they are low, there's not enough to supply your body with enough oxygen, which can lead to fatigue.

[Foxen]

Oh wow, thank you so much for the super supportive replies. It means a lot.

Regarding anorexia - It's so hard to tell. It took a while to recover from and it was one of the hardest things I did. I never ever want to be like that again but I think I have fallen back into overly restrictive poor eating habits, yes. With anorexia, any diet is dangerous triggering business that can easily lead back into the old behaviour because it is so engrained. I've been really unhappy with being mildly overweight and frustrated that my anxiety around hunger has been keeping me from dieting, so I really did want to lose weight, but once I began I've been struggling to keep my calories above 1000, which is too low and I feel like after anorexia, my body reacts much worse to restriction before, somehow. Also, my gastic symptoms have included much reduced appetite which hasn't helped with keeping within healthy limits. I'm not vegetarian but I haven't been eating much meat, accidentally. I've been trying to eat more since the b12 worries, though. I've been eating normally for a good year or two now (apart from the past few months) so I'd have expected my b12 to replenish.. But yes, maybe I am only experiencing the effects of it now? That would be a comforting and manageable explanation.

I have a lot of symptoms. Ringing in the ears. Dizziness. Nausea. But the thing that is bothering me the most is breathlessness, all the time, so weak. Taking sudafed every 4 hours or so, but only helps a little.

Yesterday, I decided enough was enough and that it was cruel, eating disordered and doing nothing for my anxiety to keep restricting through this possible vitamin deficiency. I ate more. Today, I woke up and my weight was down a further 1.5 or 2 pounds =( I've lost a lot of weight this week. So this morning, my mind is full of worries of cancer in my gastric system, which could be causing absorption issues. Argh. I'm hoping my body is just confused and all over the place. I'm going to keep trying to eat more for my health and sanity and I'm trying to remember that cancer is relatively rare and in the worst case scenario, many are treatable =/

I was also drinking a hell of a lot of diet cola. I decided at the same time as deciding to eat more that this couldn't be helping and have cold turkey-ed so now experiencing caffeine withdrawal. I do smoke about 10 cigarettes a day and have for a couple of years. I know I should stop that for my symptoms and health anxiety too but I don't think I can possibly handle trying to quit another thing right now.

The red blood cells being big can be a sign of b12 deficiency according to my doctor. I am unsure whether the blood count was low or not though. I go in for my proper b12/h.pylori/celiacs test today though and after that I can start taking some vitamins, until they decide whether I need shots or not.


I guess what I am learning from this is that I'm needing to be a lot kinder to my body regardless of what else is happening to it. Trying to hang on in there. Again, thank you *so* much for sharing your thoughts with me. You're awesome - It's really helpful to be able to share these anxieties with some people who are not in my direct circle for a bit and who understand the angst associated.

[Catherine S]

Bring us an update when you can...good luck with the tests today

ISB x

[Foxen]

I just got back from getting my b12 result today. Celiacs was negative. H.pylori hasn't come in yet but.. I am severely b12 deficient (b12 at 66, which was the lowest my doctor had seen). I am going away tomorrow to visit my mother in Belgium for a week (Partially because I have been a panicked wreck) so I won't start getting the shots until next week but then it will be 3 weekly for 2 weeks and then every few months, I think.

In the meantime, I've become seriously sick. Might be a virus. Diarrhea, then vomiting everything I eat, with no appetite. My stool has had white in it and very orange today (the white: muccus?) and I have jabby pains in my ribs and back, so I am worried about my bile duct but my liver function was fine on my tests. In my mind, I have stomach cancer. I feel bile in my throat and nose all the time, this horrible taste, my stomach complains and bloats, even at juice. I feel weak and can mostly only sleep. I haven't eaten properly in days *worry*

I think partially for eating disorder reasons, I was eating a large large amount of pickled chillies every day for a few months while I was trying to lose weight. The taste and low calorie of them made me go towards them. Usually I would eat about two jars (I've stopped in the past month) and as I said before, I was drinking about 9 cans of diet coke. I'm terrified I've wrecked my insides or done something that has led to cancer.

I am trying to believe that thinking it is cancer is the Health Anxiety and that it is a virus, maybe combined with my reflux issue. It's hard.

Somehow knowing my b12 is this low leaves me really terrified, though I know I should be glad they finally confirmed something. *breathe* At least now, after a week, I will get the shots and.. maybe.. start to feel.. better, with any hope? I really want to try and get a doctor to allow an endoscopy when I get to Belgium for a week, because here they are very reluctant to do one until even more blood tests are done.

I will try to update when I have more conclusive and hopefully positive news and my health is looking up.