Sad but Happy

[Jacsta]

Hi all

I haven't posted much lately (ever since I got married in may :O )....but I've been in a rather pensive mood so thought I'd type it out (I hope you all don't mind my rambles)

So since I got married and went on my honeymoon I'f love to say life has been bliss...but life isn't like that...and neither is depression...

I had a bad spurt of depression before my wedding, put down by a lot of people as wedding stress, which I don't believe but went along with it anyway...less hassle that way. I feel I was depressed, simply because I have depression..

Anyway, things went back to normal, I went back to work, and I continued to feel sad about life...then to top it off, I had a miscarriage (t'was very very early pregnancy, and hardly worth mentioning...but was enough to send me even further down). It was hard to deal with, because at the time I didn't tell anyone...not even my husband knows. I don't know why I couldn't bring it up, but I felt I had to deal with it by myself...so that's what I did. I told a couple of close nmp friends, but didn't talk about it and pretty much shut myself off from the world.

Things got rough...the dark thoughts lurked and took hold for a while there....but I have managed to ride it out...and for the past 3 weeks?...I have been ok, and more recently I've started to enjoy life, friends, and discovering new hobbies to entertain myself.

I still have the sadness in the background, but there is happiness keeping it at bay at the moment...and I think that's as good as it gets for me as my depression will always be there, always be part of me....but I'm glad to be saying I'm good (and actually mean it).

Today I have had a lovely day, I made the effort to contact my friend so we went for lunch, and then we sat out in the sun for a bit....and then I went to the cinema (on my own) and had a really lovely time. I have come home and realised that yes...I have depression....but I have a choice whether to be depressed about it or get out there and enjoy the little things...

...So I urge anyone having a bad day, to do just one thing, one little thing that you enjoy....because the little things are what get us through the day, and make the big things seem smaller.

Happy Monday xxx

Jac

[AnxietyDJ]

Hey Jacs, great to hear you are doing better of late and that you had a great day today.

Just from my own opinion of getting to know you a little, I can safely say that you are an amazing person and that having depression - and any other mental illness - doesn't define who you are and certainly doesn't detract from how positive and strong an influence you have been on me and other people here. I wish you could see and feel how we all think of you - I know that would make you feel more positive and confident in itself

I hope you can keep moving along the right path. Remember that we are all here for you any time you need us... You support all of us a lot, but don't forget that we want to do the same for you.

Take care of yourself and Just Keep Swimming x

[wabbit1]

Just seen this, what a nice sentiment.

Luv you, jac, such a lovely person full of support. I totally second what DJ says. You definitely found your calling in life.

[venusbluejeans]

Mrs Jac..... I am disappointed this thread hasn't had more replies, but success stories seem to lack a little on the reply front unfortunately.

I know I talk to you a lot and have said to you what I would say on here, so I will leave you with this picture, just to say I have read your thread and think you are an awesome person....

[Jacsta]

Thanks lovely people

I try to document the good times and forget the bad...not always easy, but done in the hope that when things get really rough I have better memory of these good days (reading this again might make today a better day..... )

[spuder]

Hi jac long time no see sorry to hear your not doing good hun. Miss our little chats in the chat room. I am not good in giving advise so just gonna give u a big hug and to say u can pm me any time u want u gave me sum good advise in the past u can be string hun