daughter . did i do the right thing ?

[natty]

Hi
something happened earlier this evening and im wondering if i did the right thing.

ok i took my dog out for a walk it was getting dark and i dont usually do this but im trying to beat my phobias and leave the house more often , the park is real close to the house so its the nearest place to go , any ways the whole trip went well and i was out of the house for half an hour .

when i get back i notice that my daughter is really quiet so i said to hubby is she upstairs and he says yes but she wanted to go to the park but i told her to ask you when you came back , well i said no to hubby that she could nt go cos it was dark .
well an hour later its still really quiet up there , i spent all the time convincing myself that she must be watching tv, reading or playing with her dolls but in the end i couldnt bear it any more so i asked hubby to check and she had gone out .
i hit the roof, i was so mad . i was shaking inside , i called her onher mobile and she came home. she wasnt on the park but at her freinds house who lives about 4 doors down.
i yelled at her telling her off cos she shouldnt leave the house before asking or if shes been told no .
i sent her to her room , i didnt smack her or anything but really i just wanted to cuddle her and cry.
now for saome reason i feel like i let the panic and anxiety dictate what i said to her and how i handled it , but im not sure .
i think i was reasonable shes only 10 she shouldnt leave with out permission , thats reasonable to ask isnt it ?
what would you all do ? what should i do now ? shes still up there im scared ill burst into tears as soon as i see her.

bb natty

[bubblygirl]

hiya,
I think you did the right thing any parent would be the same. Anything couldve happened to her when she left the house. Don't upset yourself about it, she may be abit upset now but she will be fine. when you've calmed down just have a chat with her and explain how much it worried you and that she should always let you know where shes going. take care x

[kilvosa]

Hi
I think you did the right thing i would go mad if my 10 year old son went out he doesnt go anywhere without us not even to school and especially when its dark. My hubby doesnt like me out in the dark let alone my 10 year old.She will be fine with you .
Take care
Annexx

[ConfusedByLife]

I think any responsible parent would have done the same thing anxious or not, especially a 10 year old girl in the dark in this day and age. My mum would have kicked my ass!! lol

[Granny Primark]

I think you definitely did the right thing. When our children are that age we need to know where they are at all times.
If i were in your shoes id go upstairs tell her why she is not allowed out without informing you, then put your arms round her and give her a big cuddle and tell her how much you love her and that its cus you love her so much that for her own safety you need to know where she is.

Take care
LYNN xx

[happyone]

Of course you did the right thing. Even if your anxiety creeped in, it would with parents who don't have any problems or issues with panic/anxiety.
Think how your daughter would feel growing up if she thought you didn't care or worry when she did something she wasn't supposed to. (and she will know, even if she says she didn't realise)
Your duty as a parent is to protect her and if that means that sometimes she will see you angry or anxious, then she will know it is because you care.
As a child, I never got smacked until one day I ran right across a road. My mum smacked my backside. I was hurt, indignant but I also realised I had gone too far and I was much more careful with roads after that.
I know you didn't smack your child, but you yelled and your daughter will know it is because she overstepped the mark.
And I don't think it would be wrong to go in and give her a cuddle and if you do cry then so be it. Your child knows she is loved and cared for.

Happyone

[Ladym]

I don't think there's any question that you did the right thing - of course you did. To be honest, I feel it would have been irresponsible NOT to tell her off. Even adults who live together let each other know if they're going out somewhere.
It's perfectly natural to worry about your kids, give yourself a break. You have done nothing wrong - all you've done is be a good mother who obviously loves her daughter very much.
Hugs
Anna xxx

[natty]

thanks guys

ive calmed down a bit now , she came down for her dinner and didnt seem to be bothered that shed had a telling off , i still got my bedtime hug and kiss and she seemed ok . i was so worried cos i very rarely yell at her and i sort of got the impression i may have come across overly harsh because i was cracking .

i think im forgiven tho . thanks for the support
bb natty