Hello NMP peeps
I have my Endoscopy tomo, and I am freaking out. I have a cold and I'm scared I won't be able to breathe with the camera down. I am frightened of being out of control so not sure about the sedation, but am terrified of having the scope because I was badly traumatised by forcibly having my stomach pumped after a suicide attempt when I was 17. I am so close to cancelling this. I can't bear this hanging over me though. :(. I feel such a coward. I feel like I can't cope with anything. :(
:(
I called the Endoscopy department and they said gave my GP refer me to have it done with general anaesthetic, but I don't want to take unnecessary risks with that either. Also my GP flatly refused. I just can't face this. I know I am a coward, but all I want is reassurance it isn't cancer. I don't actually feel that unwell. my burning chest discomfort, back pain and urge to cough completely disappear when I feel happy. all I want is someone to tell me I am okay, that this IS anxiety related and to not worry so much (worry makes the burning sooo much worse).
I have until this afternoon to make my decision. I am also waiting for a call from my GP. Maybe they will do the breath test or the barium swallow instead? I really am freaking about it.