Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: Barbie's letter to Santa

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    , , USA.
    Posts
    5,485

    Barbie's letter to Santa

    Barbie
    c/o Mattel, Inc.
    El Segundo, CA 90245


    Santa Claus
    North Pole, North Pole
    December 23, 1996

    Dear Santa:

    Listen you ugly little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas
    Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many
    tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had
    better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and
    trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list for 1998:


    Santa:

    1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker.
    How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels
    like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt?

    2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to
    cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite!

    3. A REAL man...maybe GI Joe. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me Elmo over that wimped-out excuse for a boytoy Ken. And what's with that earring anyway? If I'm gonna have to suffer with him, at least make him (and me) anatomically correct.

    4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp away once he is anatomically correct.

    5. Breast reduction surgery. I don't care whose arm you have to twist, get it done.

    6. A jogbra. To wear until I get the surgery.

    7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don't cut it. How about a systems analyst? Or better yet,
    a public relations senior account exec!

    8. A new, more 90s persona. Maybe "PMS Barbie", complete with a miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag of chips; "Animal Rights Barbie", with my very own paint gun,
    outfitted with a fake fur coat, bottle of spray on blood and handcuffs; or "Stop Smoking Barbie," sporting a removable Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.

    9. No more McDonald's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.

    10. Mattel stock options. It's been 37 years--I think I deserve it.

    Ok, Santa, that's it. Considering my valuable contribution to society, I don't think these requests are out of line.
    If you disagree, then you can find yourself a new b**ch for next Christmas.

    It's that simple.

    Yours truly,
    Barbie


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    , , Ireland.
    Posts
    3,541
    Ohhh Sandy lol that was class thank you. xx

    Take Care

    Mandyxx


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    4,867

    loved it Sandy

    Trac xxx

    'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    637

    thanks for that,

    anx x

    Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    7,760


    Piglet x

    "Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
    "Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    386
    lol

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    , , Canada.
    Posts
    8
    hey that was good. lol lol

    nicole lainesse

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    , , USA.
    Posts
    156
    You tell 'em, Barbie!!!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    2,619
    I liked it!

    happyone
    x

  10. #10
    Peru83's Avatar
    Peru83 is offline Intermediate Member
    Country:
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    489
    LOL

    onwards and upwards

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. First Letter/Last Letter game
    By clickaway in forum Panic Pause/Humour/Games & Quizzes
    Replies: 28042
    Last Post: 28-03-24, 11:20
  2. Letter recived today from NHS - Start CBT 20th March
    By reddevil in forum CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 12-03-07, 20:51
  3. Tracking Santa
    By anxious in forum Panic Pause/Humour/Games & Quizzes
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 23-12-06, 22:03
  4. An open letter to a shop assistant.
    By jollywalrus in forum General Anxiety / Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 10-06-04, 09:15

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •