Marriage anxiety

[heavymind]

Hi, I am getting married soon, there are so many new people in life, my fiance', her relatives, friends etc. I am usually very afraid of internet chat rooms. Now she invited me into one and I joined, it has opened the door for public chat amoung mine and her friends, which I am feeling very uncomfortable. I dont want to pretend to have lot of owrk and shy away from the group. I want to be there but still be sensible as well. I am getting worried somebody might not like me, I might type someting insensible etc. I dont want anything to go negative. I am just too paranoid about every single line that I write on the chat group... Somebody help...

asdf

[heavymind]

I am very confused, I am worried I might behave stupid. It makes me tihnk, I dont want anything new, I am happy with what I am doing now, leave me alone. Dont ask me tough questions, dont make look like an idiot in public. I am anxious as ever, I hadnt improved much, or may be I have, but still there is more to do.

Is it something that you either get from childhood, or is it something that you can develop. I have been shy and anxious since childhood. I want to be chatty, witty, party guy, like how many of the new acquaintance in life seem to be.

I want to be comfortable among new friends, please tell me how to...

asdf

[LickeyEndBlues]

Het Heavymind,

Boy, can I relate to what you have just written!! Every word in your two posts resonates with me....BIG TIME!!!

Short answer...I guess you are a lt younger than me (52) so you have recognised your general and social anxieties far quicker than I did so that has got to be a big plus....a really BIG PLUS!!!

Chatrooms are great places but also full of huge communications issues as can be found in here on a regular basis!!! When we talk with people we have a huge array of skills to call on to back up the words we use. In here that doesnt happen, unless you really know the person better than they do...and that is impossible!!

When people meet for the first time it is easy to pretend to be the life and soul of the party. I know I have been that person but it was all a sham...inside I am shy and scared people wont like me. Anxiety goes through the roof.

There are no easy answers but liking yourself goes a long way to providing some.

I am happy to chat with you is you want.

Iain

ps...ASDF ??

What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

[heavymind]

I had 2 mugs of bear last night. I dont know, if its adding to it. I think not. I just want to be calm and cool, not worry about a sh?t. I am refraining from going to the chat room for fear of screwing up, instead I am here, where I am a stranger and I can type my feelings out. I dont want my compulsion to drive me to react. I want to take my time to make my anxiety go less, before responding...

LickeyEndBlues, I am asdf on this forum. Feel free to address me asdf...





asdf

[heavymind]

Despite anxiety I probably have saved my face in most occations. I used to think I was such miserable in various of the past situations, but one of my friends didnt seem to think of those the same way I did. I felt I had behaved in the most pathetic possible way, like no body else on the earth would. But in reality I had not done as bad as my mind had thought.

I guess we just need to accept that we are okay, buts its so hard to do....

asdf

[heavymind]

I went for the Gym and just back, and I guess I am feeling much better now. I use this www.nomorepanic.co.uk as a place to dump my feelings, when even I have to. This way I dont react out of my anxiety and emotions with friends and family and with them I am a better person. All my dependance is left for here, so as not to make friends/relatives feel awkward..... eeeeeeeeeeeeeee I dont want to worry............................................. ...............

asdf

[heavymind]

Internet and chatrooms probably addict me.... I dont know if this would fall under ocd....

asdf

[heavymind]

I wonder if number of posts/per day of people who have significantly large number of posts, other than people who are admins, who give answers may correlate will with how sick the person is. 0.29 in mycase probably isnt too bad... Who knows. Almost once in three days, I seem to have been here, ever since having enrolled. Which might indicate 2/3rds of my life is good and without anxiety atleast at this point in time and 1/3rd is bad, which actually correlates very well, with what reality is!!..... ---- I know the brain of lots of people here doesnt work in this manner, I am a researcher by designation and such hypothesis, or hypothetical thoughts we are so used to changing into research questions and writing up papers on themmmmm.......


Today is one of those days when I have this obsession to keep typing, typing a lot, typing a lot lot lot lot ..... Thanks to this forum. Please please please pardon me, if I am violating policy of the group. I hope the admins / moderators dont mind my dumping of thoughts here. I wont have anyother safe place to be open and talk from my heart other than here.....

I am typing out all my energy out here and then I can take a deep breath relax and go home......

asdf

[heavymind]

I am defenitely doing ok, I am not screwing things up. I hope I am not, I certainly am not. I just want time to move fast, no I want it to move slow, I got to finish more work.... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh calm down,,,,, coool down........... Go have food and go sleep, yup. I am going to go have food nad go sleep.....

Isnt life great..... ----- Does this happen to you, Why are my thoughts flying up, down, left, right, across, side, and every where. The above thoughts are they sounding normal or are they sounding completely mad. Am I schizophrenic.... BEAR is bad. May be its yesterdays alcohol.... May be I will do better tomorrow.


I will let you know tomorrow. I am already on some meds for my cold, which induces sleep, I have had two mugs of bear yesterday, may be thats influencing the way I think toooooooo...........

I want some reasssurance, and I want from some new relationships. Why cant I just stop this nonsence and just go home. Why do I have this compulsion to just keep typoing what I feel... Is this wierd.....

I heard somewhere schizophrenics get a lot of urge to write a lot..... Am I mildly schizophrenic???? Ok calm down, coool down, enough go home....

Ok enough is enough FULL STOP ( Oh no, not to my life, just to this mail)........

asdf

[heavymind]

Havint I sounded really mad in this mail chain. Am I alright????? Folks, please dont think, I am trying to make the count 100, I certainly am not. I am just today obsessed somehow to type everything out. I get this when I am not in a great mood. I have come to nomorepanic, only whenever I have not been doing great and I gave into my obsession to keep writing and that I thing many times has helpeed....

asdf