Constant worry, even with nothing to worry about.

[MidnightCalm]

I seem to have just developed a negative, pessimistic outlook on life. I'm constantly worried about something, and then when there isn't very much to worry about or things are out of my control I find other things to worry about that don't necessarily need worry.
The past 2 months I've been extremely worried about my benefit (ESA) because I got a letter saying they were going to do an interview with me because concerns had been raised. I contacted them and eventually found out they think I have a savings account with over £7000 in. I don't. I can barely make my rent and bills every month, I wish I had £7000, but apparently inland revenue notified them of this (whatever that is). So I've spent the last month and half waiting for this interview and worrying if they are going to try and twist my words or make me feel like I've done something wrong. Anyway, in the end I had to sign a statement that says I have no idea about the account and now they're going to investigate it further I presume, which to me is worrying in itself. Even though I know I do not have the account I still don't like being investigated or feeling like I've done something wrong.
Now that I know I have to just leave them to it and get on with my life I can't because if I haven't done anything wrong I need not worry I am still worrying about other things.
What if I can't pay my bills at the end of the month? What if they take my benefit away from me because I'm trying to go out and do things every so often (I get my benefit for agoraphobia, depression, panic attacks).
Why is my flat so small, why do I not have friends, why do people find it easy to just leave me knowing I have this illness, why are my bills increasing even though I'm not doing anything different, what if I can't go out ever again, what if my money runs out and I can't get shopping, should I quit smoking, should I keep smoking, should I even try to go out if it could mean my money stops.
I just seem to keep obsessing about one thing to the next and I just want to relax! I just want to be able to watch the tv and actually be involved in watching the tv and not just simple glaring at it whilst thinking about 1000 other things.
I just can't seem to distract myself!
I thought a nice walk around the block would help clear my mind, the weather is lovely and the flowers are all out and BAM, panic attack up the road and I'm gasping for air and literally sprinting back to my house wondering if I'm going to make it.
I don't want to have a brain if my brain cannot simply shut up about all these things. I used to be so care free and now I am the most miserable boring person because I am that person who "always has something wrong with them" and "always has something to complain about".

[Sunflower2]

I am an extreme worrier. I worry all day every day about something. I get ocd about germs so I constantly worry about that and all different possible ways I may or may not have touched germs. And all the other every day worries. Little simple things that most people don't even think about!

The worrying is the hardest part to let go for me, as it's become a bad habit to think about all these little things. And then if the worrying gets out of control then that's when the anxiety increases and I get panic attacks.

For me, I've found that f you write out all your worries, then separate them into ones that you can solve and ones you can't. Then work out solutions to the ones you can and how you will achieve them. For the worries you have no control over, try use mindfulness techniques where you acknowledge the worry is there, but just let it be and focus on something else like your breathing until the thought passes, as it's likely that your mind is always switching to different thoughts over and over.

It's a working progress for me though! I got crazy ocd thoughts about towels in a hotel while on holiday and I couldn't stop thinking about them! I told my boyfriend and he didn't even know what to say as I sounded so crazy haha!

Hope I could help a little!

[Shivmarie]

I worry all day everyday.
I worry every night before I go to bed that I won't sleep.
I worry every time I am out and about thinking I won't make it home.
I worry about my family and friends.
I worry about suddenly dying and nobody finding me (live alone)
I worry about my health x100000, every pain, quesy feeling, tiredness is something sinister.

[MidnightCalm]

It's frustrating isn't it!
I saw a dead pigeon before outside my flat and now I'm worrying that I could have saved it if I'd only gone out at a different time!
So I had to put some flowers on it just to make myself feel better lmao x

[crystal17]

I can relate, I worry pretty much all the time and also get laughed at and ridiculed for it so its not fun :(

I often wonder if worry is a distraction from something else, but I'm not sure what. All I know is that when I don't have anything legitimate to worry about...I panic and feel very odd. SO I fill up that feeling with another worry that I'll pluck out from somewhere.

I hope you can get to go out for that walk today, the weather is gorgeous and not too hot right now (until later...) and you deserve to breathe in fresh air and feel contentment. Just know you're not alone with the burden of worry.

[Ruby13]

I worry all day everyday.
I worry every night before I go to bed that I won't sleep.
I worry every time I am out and about thinking I won't make it home.
I worry about my family and friends.
I worry about suddenly dying and nobody finding me (live alone)
I worry about my health x100000, every pain, quesy feeling, tiredness is something sinister.

I think you are describing me to a T there, I am just the same.

[MidnightCalm]

I worry all day everyday.
I worry every night before I go to bed that I won't sleep.
I worry every time I am out and about thinking I won't make it home.
I worry about my family and friends.
I worry about suddenly dying and nobody finding me (live alone)
I worry about my health x100000, every pain, quesy feeling, tiredness is something sinister.

When I'm really bad I leave my front door unlocked because I think if I die in my sleep or if I end up dying from this panic or whatever I think it is then someone can get in and I won't be here long before I'm found and my cat will be okay