The Speakmans

[pulisa]

Ah, so he will be recovering far away from the media spotlight then?!

Kerry Katona blames everything on her supposed "bipolar" which waxes and wanes according to her lifestyle/press attention. It's a good move to have the boyfriend now in the public eye and I'm sure she'll be on the front page of OK soon, professing unconditional support for him.....oh wait, I think she's on the front page of today's new issue!

The pair of 'em will make a marvellous programme with The Speakmans in due course. After all, don't we all need to go on TV to discuss our private, sensitive issues?

[Tessar]

Well, I finally got round to watching the episode of The Speakmans which featured a woman they cured of her spider phobia. I was pretty sceptical beforehand but watched with an open mind.

I do agree they can be condescending. Also that how you can just "cure" someone of a long standing issue "just like that" is rather far fetched. I know from my own experience it takes time to "open up" to a therapist or counsellor, I would anticipate treatment working in such a short space of time.

I still feel for most of us, treatment needs to be tailored for our needs. All this glitzy amazing stuff in the programme is rather over the top & too good to be true. Instead for your average person, a more realistic course of treatment is what's required. I suppose they've designed the programme (& those on it) to appeal to a viewing audience. Bearing that in mind, if people watch & take from it what they want, it does no harm.

The Speakmans attitude is condescending or at least in the program I watched it came across that way, but I think it might be that attitude that made the difference for the aracnophobic lady and ....

Believe it or not, despite sitting there and proclaiming "you can't cure someone that quickly it takes more than that......" I have taken a leg out if The Speakmans book.

Read on.......

So after watching the programme, instead of going about worrying so much that "there will be a spider in the bath, the bedroom, my bike shed, in a cup in the cupboard"
and/or feeling the need to
"look at the walls if every room i go in, particularly late evening, gingerly moving objects in locations 'likely to harbour a spider', sitting waiting for one to appear...."
I simply decided "I am not scared of spiders anymore".

I have switched off my worry mode. I am not allowing myself to do the checking routines. Instead I am just doing what I need to do and consciously stopping myself from picturing spiders at every turn.

Since then I had been waiting (with baited breath) to see if this new attitude would help if I saw a big hairy one. I can just feel my scalp crawling as I type this (that's my ingrained reaction that I am trying to kill off).

So on Sunday there was a big one in the bath. My partner told me about it so I went and looked at it. I tried blowing on it (from a distance) to make it move....fail. It didnt move, but stayed on the plug. So my partner made it move. Meanwhile as it scuttled about (must admit i am not keen on the way they move) I told myself it isn't a frightening thing, it's just a (rather large) insect.

She put it in a sandwich box and I took a closer look, reminding myself it is just an insect and I don't need to hate it or think it's evil, horrible, disgusting. I don't like their legs,cat he body isn't too bad, it's something about those legs and the way they move.

I am not at the stage where I could actually handle one. But i am determined to keep at this. Also if I come across one unexpectedly I half expect I will scream as usual. But it is intriguing to see if I can change "the habit of a lifetime".

So..... Even though the programme is a bit flimsy & plastic, I have tried to take something from it. Even though my instinct is saying "you can't just switch off your phobia" .... I realise that IS the phobia talking and not my rational brain.

Which will win? Phobia or rational self? Not sure yet but will keep u informed!

[Carnation]

Haven't seen this yet, but sounds awful. Is it similar to the series about ghost hunting where there was never going to be any ghosts. Must admit that I am quite inquisitive, so may have a watch, but I can see most of you don't rate it.

[MRS STRESS ED]

Oh Carnation I rate it I rate 0 out of ten and thats being generous cure people in an hour my god they are miricle
workers xx

its just another programe that makes mental health problems look like theyre nothing and to be honest the impression I got they are not very compassionate and expect we can just snap out of it oh I wish xx

[MyNameIsTerry]

Tessar,

There was a programme on a few years ago that would take the same approach but these were trained therapists and didn't feel the need to trivialise mental health. They had people afraid of buttons on there and I recall it being tasteful.

If you take something from it and it helps you, I wish you all the best with it. What you have taken is seen in conventional therapy.

It will be interesting to see how this changes when the sector becomes regulated shortly. Then we will have a professional code of conduct and a complaints procedure so I expect that these types of miracle cure workers will be referred to them, especially those with little or no qualifications.

---------- Post added at 02:45 ---------- Previous post was at 02:42 ----------

Ah, so he will be recovering far away from the media spotlight then?!

Kerry Katona blames everything on her supposed "bipolar" which waxes and wanes according to her lifestyle/press attention. It's a good move to have the boyfriend now in the public eye and I'm sure she'll be on the front page of OK soon, professing unconditional support for him.....oh wait, I think she's on the front page of today's new issue!

The pair of 'em will make a marvellous programme with The Speakmans in due course. After all, don't we all need to go on TV to discuss our private, sensitive issues?

It always rings alarm bells for me if certain types of celebrities are aligned with them. I think many celebrities do a fine job of trivialising mental health conditions, alcohol & drug addictions, etc...I guess they don't realise that the scripts written for them really aren't an accurate depiction of what really happens...a recent Emmerdale storyline springs to mind.

[Tessar]

Well..... A while ago I watched the episode of the speakmans where a woman is helped to deal with her spider phobia.... It seemed "too good to be true" But i decided to apply the same simple philosophy used in the program.
Instead of spending time & energy on high alert, watching out for spiders..... &then freaking when one appears.... I keep reminding myself "I am not scared of spiders". Doesn't matter whether I believe it or not I keep tell myself that.
So.... In the last few days I have managed to ignore a big dead spider right above where I get my bike out if the she'd. Rustle around tidying an area of our garden where we have all sorts of old plant pots, slabs etc.... Knowing "I might see one" but instead of dreading it, I am reminding myself "I am no longer scared of spiders".
Today t work there was a pretty darned big one on one of our inside doors. My colleague was scared so..... Guess who removed the slider for me????? ? ? ME!!!
I told my colleagues (who know I don't like spiders) that "I am no longer scared of spiders" and I'll deal with it.
So I went to have a look, yes it was big. I stood there studying it while noticing my breathing increase, heart rate increase and my skin crawl. At the same time I to,d myself "I am not scared of spiders" and proceeded to catch it in a cup. I used some card to help remove it outside
I did it. I got rid of a big spider. Amazing, it didnt freak me. It seems what I need to do is just recondition myself. i dont have to spend energy and time watching out for them. I realise it's just making the fear worse and serves no purpose,
I know it might take time but at least I am Making progress.
I still thinks I might scream if I am caught out by one but at least then hopefully I can tell myself to calm down, and realise I don't need to be scared. I am just programmed to be that way.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well done Tessar!!!

Thats quite a big move forward there.

On the programme I saw years ago they had someone who was afraid of spiders and that was really what they were doing. Showing them images, talking to them about why its just a creature and how its more afraid of us and how we have the control over them. Then the worked up to being in the same room as one. got closer and then went for touching.

It sounds to me like you've done all that on your own. You even intervened to help somebody else when you couldn have left them to deal with it and not become involved. Thats a big step forward.

[Tessar]

Cheers Terry :-)

[MyNameIsTerry]

An amusing bump...I noticed these guys were on last week in Jeremy Kyle's slot which said loads

[littlebutterflygb]

If ever you questioned The Speakmans and their 'therapy', never mind as they have now started a Dating Service - I kid you not...how confident do YOU feel about so-called therapists who offer a Dating Service?

Best not match the obsessive cleaners with those who have a fear of chemicals, eh?