I joined in march, so since march I've learnt:


Tackling problems is less scary than hiding from them.

It's possible to control and stop panic attacks even after they start. The panic isn't bigger than me it just wants me to think it is.

Being honest with people about how I feel is really important.

Talking about my problems is key to stopping them festering inside me and getting worse. But it's important to know how to express it to help avoid unnecessary overshare, confusion, pity and anger.

self harm doesn't make me a loser.

smile at everyone, especially the people who don't smile back.

Honesty can be abstract.

Knowing not to take it out on myself is just as important as not taking it out on other people.

I don't have to be what people expect me to be, or react how they press me to.

That's just off the top of my head, I've probably learned more than that. Hopefully if I keep reminding myself I've progressed I'll feel better.
I feel like I never get anywhere but then I realise I used to let people hurt me and at one time I couldn't leave my house. I never take it out on anyone, well other than myself. I spend all my time fighting I take it for granted. I'm very tired, but I know I can get better and I'm not far off getting there.

Last weeks goals were to tidy more, be more assertive and go to the dentist. I managed the first two. Hopefully I'll manage the dentists next week but I'm not going to push it too much, I need to take failure in my stride and stay at my own speed. I think going to the dentist might be a bit too soon.

Plan for next week - look into uni, write, continue learning spanish, exercise, volunteer.