Propranolol saved my life.

[f2982]

Hi all,

I'm a 31 year old lady who has been confident all my life. I got a promotion, which involved giving presentations, speaking in front of large groups (300-500 people) and leading important meetings. Before my promotion, I was quite happy to speak to groups of people, after my promotion, not the case. Within 6 months, something very strange happened to me. People would meet me in the corridor, ask me how I was, making small talk...all of a sudden, my heart started to race, my eye/eyebrow was twitching, I couldn't look them in the eye and had the 'fight or flight' feeling. For a split second I wanted to run in the other direction. WHY!? I did not know. This then grew. My first occasion of speaking in front of 300 people. Something I would have usually felt quite confident about...not anymore. I remember standing at the side of the hall, heart pumping out of my chest, dry mouth, sick to my stomach, walls closing in on me, mind racing, thinking up a million excuses that would justify me running out of the hall...then taking to the mic, hardly being able to talk..then that 'fight or flight' feeling hitting me full force. Standing mute in front of a whole hall of people and contemplating, with a beating heart, running out of the room. I couldn't continue, managed to mumble a few words and pass onto my colleague. Afterwards, I used the excuse that I wasn't feeling well. What was happening to me?! I couldn't understand it. No matter what my head told me.....'There is nothing to be fearful of, you know what you're talking about, what's the big deal'..the anxiety in my body ruled and took over rendering me mute and a nervous wreck. And of course, things then started to snowball out of control..sleepless nights before meetings, worried about bumping into people in the street etc this state of anxiety could hit me at any time, anywhere and I had no control over it. It was ruining my life. Lying in bed, heart racing for weeks in the lead up to a presentation/meeting..lying in bed crying because I could see no way out and only felt that things were getting worse. Until Propranolol.

Now to explain, i'm the sort of person who has never ever done drugs (prude you shout!) and I would always avoid headache/cold tablets. I like the body to take care of itself. So when I was at my wits end and went to the doctors, I was willing to try anything. I actually thought that the increased anxiety could possibly cost me my job or put me on long term sick. Again, i'm someone who is never absent from work. My doc suggested the beta blocker propranolol. My heart sank. i thought, 'A beta blocker, what's that gonna do' How wrong was I.

I actually had anxiety about taking propranolol haha! I eventually took 10 mg, felt quite ok. However the real test would be the presentation at work the following week. I had already cried myself to sleep countless times at the thought of it...so, I thought, I have to give this a go. Presentation time (despite crying the full 24 hours before) I took a 10 mg when i woke up as my heart was already thumping out of my chest. The presentation was at 2pm, I took another 20 mg (30mg in total) half an hour before the presentation. WOW!!!! I could not believe it. No racing heart, no twitching, yes I still felt fear and nerves but there was not fight or flight feeling. i delivered a 45 minute presentation AND took difficult questions at the end and totally sailed through it. I felt in control and confident. Propranolol has literally saved me. I take 20mg on work days and the difference is unbelievable. I used to get the same anxiety about small meetings, not anymore. I feel totally in control, no physical symptoms heart racing etc. I cannot recommend Propranolol enough. I feel like i'm back to my old self.
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[Oosh]

It's nice to hear a success story. I'm glad you found something that's worked for you

[nomorepanic]

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your post was moved from its original place to a sub-forum that is more relevant to your problem.

This is nothing personal - it just enables us to keep posts about the same problems in the relevant forums so other members with any experience with the issues can find them more easily.

[Svojski85]

This confirms my experience when taking propranolol, which should block the physical sensations to do with going through anxieties and stress, hence you still fell the fear and discomfort in your head and emotions, however your body is controlled, so the impact of the anxiety on others is much less noticeable!

Don't let yourself being medicated by brain drugs (prozacs, SSRIs) for years! Use something to control the physical response to stress as the first therapy instead!

[Catherine S]

Propranol has also helped me alot over the last couple of years. I take 40mgs daily but sometimes take 60 on a bad day or equally, lower it to as little as 10 if i'm having a really good day without any problems...its really flexible in this way which is great for me as I mostly take it to alleviate heart flutters and missed beats which can come and go, some days worse than others.

ISB x

[KingstonPaul]

f2982, I know so well that dread fear of being on stage and losing it. Like you, I was a confident performer (as in usually managing to internalise my anxieties), and then one day, I just dried up in front of an audience of 300. No warning, just happened. The anxiety of that day has persisted with me, and from thereon, every presentation has been a battle with the fear/anticipation that I might just do the same again.
I'm just about to start using propanolol, so reading your experience is encouraging. in the past few weeks I lost my job, then got involved in a legal spat with my old employer, and all that empty brain space that used to be devoted to work has become my worst enemy. Imagining stuff, accompanied by negative thoughts is a vicious spiral, to the extent that I've become a bit social phobic as well. The anxiety is feeding a bit of depression, mornings require industrial strength willpower.
I'm doing a presentation tomorrow, with some propranol in the tank! Hopefully I can report a very positive experience.

[jimbo2753]

Hi, glad you found a solution to your presentation anxiety. I am a 49 year old male with a very similar issue (work promotion requires me to present occasionally). Like you, drugs have been a no no, until now. My GP has prescribed Propranolol which I have taken once for a presentation (40mg) with great effect. However that night (12 hours later) my sleep was extremely badly upset. Did you have this issue ? Thanks.