Hi,
I'm in a bit of a state.
Have been to 3 screening assessment sessions for CBT.
I told my Senior Nurse Practitioner about some crazy episodes 24 yrs ago
that got me sectioned, imprisoned, thrown out of a therapy house.
1990 was my annus horriblis, couldn't get it together.
Now all she wants to do is home in on those episodes.
saying that "triggers" might make me react in the group CBT.
I haven't had any trouble with Police in 24 yrs.. and
all she's doing is dragging me over the coals about the past.
Says she needs to be sure I'll be safe in the group.
fair enough , to a degree, however its messed up people
like me that need the help, why is she setting the bar so high?
sectioned: I pulled a knife on someone, didn't use it - cry for help:
imprisoned : I hit a shop seller outside a 24/7 , ( my pal had nicked a scotch egg )
thrown out hostel: slapped someone lightly across the face, more in jest.
That's it ...
since then I've had time to understand my behaviours, become sensitive.
Why is she breaking my balls? winding me up?
I am keen to do the CBT, commit to it, and believe she's over-reacting.
Not allowed to join a group - the inference being I'm a danger.
I find it really sad and irritating she is taking this attitude.
Treatment denied ! I'm not worthy? good enough ?
which is exactly some of the thoughts i have which get me down.
Meds + forums + self-help = good -- NHS no help = bad