Just in a really bad place

[Female healthanxiety]

Just in a really bad place

Not sure if you read my last posts:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=158982

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=159307

This is the 2nd day I have not been into work and I have not even phoned them! My manager has phoned and text me but I just don't know what to say.

I'm fed up of this dizziness/headiness, and my DR said it will just go away but it's not.

I just want to feel able to walk and do normal things again without this stopping me. It's certainly not a mental thing. My bag is full of tablets I have been taking periodically;

Diazepan (only when I need it) but does not work in getting rid of the dizziness

Nurofen - don't think does much

Paracetamol with codeine - helps somewhat with the hotness

Semetil - well stopped taking these as they made me feel more dizzier

Sudafed for sinus pressure (DR said it's not my sinuses) but tried them anyway

I can't stand for too long as the feelings of things makes my eyes funny and the dizziness worse

My pulse has been fast for days and I'm terrified.

My stools have not been great and have been a little on the diarroah side.

Sorry for the explicitness - but have also had a discharge, like a clear gooey discharge, almost like ovulation, but haven't had a period in 4 months due to this implant in my arm.

I feel so exhausted, and as a result, my neck, shoulders and arms are so tense.

With the attempts of driving I can do it but feels like I can't for too long, this is half the reason I don't want to go work, apart from the reasons I don't want to be there.

Any replied most grateful. I've just woken up after 11 hours sleep and feel like I've only had 5 hours!

Xxxx

[RoseEve]

Sounds like you are in the depths of anxiety. I've been there a few times I know how hard it is. The key is to force yourself out of bed and go about your daily activities. You have to get out of the house. If you don't the anxiety will get worse and worse and you may never want to leave your home. It will get better friend. I'm so sorry you are hurting

[Female healthanxiety]

Hello Rose,

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

I have tried to do my normal activities but it's this feeling.

X

[Female healthanxiety]

No I do not take them all together!!!

I hate taking tablets at the best of times - just desperate to feel myself again!

[Zodiac]

I know exactly what you are going through, as I am sure many others do. It is exhausting these sometimes never ending symptoms that hit us. I was like you two years ago and was very fortunate to have an understanding manager at work who referred me to occupational health. I saw an excellent GP who listened as I spoke through tears about the headaches, migraines, dizziness, shakiness and trembliness, and intense fear I was feeling. The worst symptom for me was dizziness. At work I felt like I couldn't function. He told me something that changed my life. He asked me to hold on to my stomach and chest when I was breathing and ask what was moving. It was my chest. We should breathe through our stomachs, so I was hyperventililating without realising. Now I always ensure I am breathing through my stomach and the dizziness has now gone.

The other symptoms we have are the result of the adrenaline rushing through our bodies...have you looked at the symptom checker on this site? This is an excellent resource and I dip into it now and again to remind myself why I am feeling the way I am.

I ended up doing cbt, have you done / thinking of doing any therapy? This may hel. I would also advise you speaking to your manager. You can't keep avoiding them, and by doing so will make everything worse. Are they someone you can be open and honest with about how you are feeling? They may just surprise you and be very supportive and understanding. Anxiety is an illness and is much better explained than your boss assuming you're just taking the day off?

You can get through this. I still have bad days, but they are far outweighed by the good days. I have to consciously practice lots of techniques to ensure my body is able to cope. But I know how you are feeling right now, and feeling there is no end in sight. But there is. You just need help to get there. X

[Female healthanxiety]

Thank you for your kind words.

I just feel so stuck in a rut.

I even picked up my cat when I got up this morning and then thought I saw her again on the floor in front of me!!!!!!

I wouldn't mind but 2 weeks ago came back from a relaxing holiday which is a big deal for me and if my anxiety was bad I wouldn't have even made it on the plane - so know I'm not highly anxious.

Even watching tv now feel spaced out.

It's funny my DR asked if I've been breathing ok I said yes that I know of.

I really don't like my new job (been there 3 months) and have been looking for others. It's only my manager and another guy that works there and is such a small office.

My probation was over last week but there was no mention of a meeting, however my boss asked me to reserve the weekend (I work mon-fri) for a big annual event in October, as we all attend.

Getting to work I'm OK, then about 10ish it starts, even going to get something for lunch is agonising, I go to places I hope there or not going to be long queues (as standing too long makes it worse) and my eyes go all heavy.

Yes have looked at the symptom list, and have had many of them over the years, but I genuinely feel this is a symptom of something.

Even if I put my head back and forward it makes me dizzy.

Unfortunately I was told I had to pay for CBT through the NHS as I worked, which I can't afford. Had sessions about 8 years ago which I found very helpful.

I have good friends, but what more can they say apart from go back to the DRs!

[Zodiac]

It still sounds anxiety related. It's funny how even when we think we are not anxious, our body still reacts as if we are. I assume you ere fine on holiday and it's started when you have returned to work? Have you had your ears checked out, as sometimes an ear infection causes dizziness?

I am sorry you don't like your job. That's tough. How is the job search going? Have you given the job long enough to know you don't like it? What is your notice period? You already mention the dreading of getting lunch, and perhaps it is this, coupled with the dissatisfaction, that is unconsciously making you feel anxious? I too avoid queues as I feel lightheaded and think I am going to faint. Which I never do. Just feel like I will.

CBT is costly, but it is possible to google some and use some techniques. Have you tried meditation? That is my latest craze and I am loving the calming effect it has.

[nomorepanic]

"Unfortunately I was told I had to pay for CBT through the NHS as I worked, which I can't afford"

Who told you that - that is rubbish?

[Female healthanxiety]

The maddest thing is normally I'm the most positive person to be around, and like most of us, give the same advice we should give ourselves.

Thank you for your reply zodiac xx

I was fine for the first 5 days of the holiday xx

My DR said it's not my ears, but to be honest would really like a Referal to the ENT clinic.

Job search is going ok, not much about at the moment to be honest!
Don't know what my Notice period will be as nothing was discussed.

It's the fact of me having to walk anywhere (and lunch is one of the times).

I love meditation and also have an ap on my phone which I do a lot. I try and look after myself by going for walks (which I can't do), have relaxing baths (which I can't do due to how I feel).

Work keeps calling me and just don't know what to say

Xxxx