Hmmnnnnm well this week didnt really go "according to plan".
Get to work after a relaxing weekend, feeling full of beans.
I asked my manager "how are you" (she didnt feel well before the weekend). She says she still felt unwell... So I offered sympathy & suggested ways to help her feel better.
She then shouted my name & gesticulated I should go away.
I felt shocked especially as last week she was perfectly happy to accept my offer of "tea & sympathy". She's a Jekyll & Hyde. Unpredictable. I just didnt see this coming. When will I ever learn? Great start to the week.
Later she started creeping round me, asking about my weekend (She wouldn't normally & it felt very false). A simple apology would have been better. I do admit if someone hurts my feelings & keeps on being nasty I do struggle to warm towards them. I do wish I could stand up for myself.
Part way thro' Tuesday she wants me to do something but I'm unsure how, so asked for help but she launched into a rant (shouting across the office). I feel even less able to to my job...... as it happens I got most of it done & only got stuck on the last bit. At least she did help me with that.
Each time she's rude I want to respond but I freeze. Then all I want to do is run away & cry. I know that's a child like reaction but I struggle to shake it off.
Not so long back I was being assertive with my manager but there few weeks ago there was a mess up at work involving me & it hit my confidence.
My counsellor thinks my manager is deliberately provoking a fear reaction.... It isn't just me she does this to.
I really do need to say something though. Typically she was in a far better mood today & yesterday but tomorrow I'm going to mention that the way she speaks to me isn't helping me do my job. That is is really demotivating. If I don't say anything it's just going to keep happening.
I've no idea how it will go but if I don't say something I am not going to get this resolved.
Fingers crossed.