You can feel good again, but I need some help now

[SOBAY310]

It's been about 4 or 5 months since I've visited this forum. I want to tell everyone on this board that with some knowledge of what's going on with you, some good reading, and help amongst the members of this forum, you can continue on with life and overcome anxiety.

With that being said, it's time again that I turn to you all for help. I've been great for the past 5 months or so. I still have not had a panic attack for quite a while, but it's always lingering in my head that I'm going to have one. I suffer from constant thinking that I'm going to lose it, and a feeling of unease. Lately, I've been scared to death that I'm possibly getting depressed. Perhaps you can help me understand what I'm feeling or maybe you can relate my thoughts to what you are going through right now.

As I sit here today, here are the major problems facing me:

-Whenever I'm invited to do something, I think of my anxiety first, not how much fun it's going to be.

-I'm in school now, and I get down on myself because I'm afraid that my anxiety is going to get in the way of me becomnig a teacher. How can I possibly teach a class with an anxiety disorder?

-I get scared that my mind is going to wear down from all of these constant thoughts and worry. I'm afraid that this is all leading up to one big mental breakdown.

-I have a hard time just relaxing and reflecting on how good my life is. I see my beautiful wife and daugther and for some reason it feels like my head is so foggy that I don't have the full affect of life. It's like I'm missing out on something.

-I want to travel with my wife, she wants to travel, but I fear going somewhere else. I fear that it's going to trigger a panic attack.

-I fear that I'm getting depressed about always having to consider my anxiety. I look at old pictures and the first thing I think about was, wow, life without having to live with anxiety. I took that for granted.

-I always think I'm the exception to the rule. I'm going to be the one that breaks down, I'm going to be the one that the medicine doesn't work for, etc.

I thank everyone who helped me out before, and I'm looking forward to hearing everyone's thoughts on what I'm going through now too. Overall, I'm just trying to gain the confidence back in myself that I once had, and at times I feel like I cannot live my dreams with this thing we call anxiety.

All my best to everyone....

Joe

“If you think growing up is tough, then you're just not grown up enough.” - Steven Page, Barenaked Ladies

[wendy]

Hi Joe

Am pleased that you have had such good months!

The feelings you describe are soooo me! - but the important thing here is that thoughts and feelings are all that these sensations are,

I too believe I will be the one who will go insane or have a mental breakdown, but this WILL NOT happen, we have felt this bad before and are still here in sane enough mind to type out our posts, people who are going insane do not have the ability to do this,

What is the worse that can happen? a Panic attack? We know that these have never harmed anyone they just feel horrible, my CBT Bloke insists that the fear of panic is what makes the panic happen and we should try to adaopt the "so what" attitude (easier said than done i know!)

This is a minor, minor, blip that will pass and you will make the good 5 months into many many good years!

Take Care

Wendy x

[md5299]

[quote]It's been about 4 or 5 months since I've visited this forum. I want to tell everyone on this board that with some knowledge of what's going on with you, some good reading, and help amongst the members of this forum, you can continue on with life and overcome anxiety.

With that being said, it's time again that I turn to you all for help. I've been great for the past 5 months or so. I still have not had a panic attack for quite a while, but it's always lingering in my head that I'm going to have one. I suffer from constant thinking that I'm going to lose it, and a feeling of unease. Lately, I've been scared to death that I'm possibly getting depressed. Perhaps you can help me understand what I'm feeling or maybe you can relate my thoughts to what you are going through right now.

As I sit here today, here are the major problems facing me:

-Whenever I'm invited to do something, I think of my anxiety first, not how much fun it's going to be.

-I'm in school now, and I get down on myself because I'm afraid that my anxiety is going to get in the way of me becomnig a teacher. How can I possibly teach a class with an anxiety disorder?

-I get scared that my mind is going to wear down from all of these constant thoughts and worry. I'm afraid that this is all leading up to one big mental breakdown.

-I have a hard time just relaxing and reflecting on how good my life is. I see my beautiful wife and daugther and for some reason it feels like my head is so foggy that I don't have the full affect of life. It's like I'm missing out on something.

-I want to travel with my wife, she wants to travel, but I fear going somewhere else. I fear that it's going to trigger a panic attack.

-I fear that I'm getting depressed about always having to consider my anxiety. I look at old pictures and the first thing I think about was, wow, life without having to live with anxiety. I took that for granted.

-I always think I'm the exception to the rule. I'm going to be the one that breaks down, I'm going to be the one that the medicine doesn't work for, etc.

I thank everyone who helped me out before, and I'm looking forward to hearing everyone's thoughts on what I'm going through now too. Overall, I'm just trying to gain the confidence back in myself that I once had, and at times I feel like I cannot live my dreams with this thing we call anxiety.

All my best to everyone....

Joe

ok joe,you sound exactly like i was years ago so i dont have to tell you how i felt because i would just repeat what you have said.the way i got out of it was to say to it come and do your best i am not going to fight you,if you dont fight back, the second time it is not so bad because each time it happens you dont take so much notice of it and it slowly wears off,all the best.mike

[feels_like_home]

Hi Joe,
I sent you a PM. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
Michelle

[EmmaJane]

Hi Joe,

Glad you had a good few months, but sorry to hear you feel rough now.

I cant say much really, although I tend to agree with what Mike has said. As each bad phase comes back, they aren't as bad as the others. Keep fighting it.

broadband.cyphus.com, switchboard.cyphus.com
There are many ways to stay in touch.

Keep focused, keep positive. Emma x

[janey50]

Hi Joe. I've only just found this place today and that could be me writing what you've written. It helps a bit to know you're not on your own with such horrible feelings. All this self-obsessing - I think if we could just stop WORRYING, all of life would be so much easier. But how? It's too easy to focus on the what-ifs. Likewise the if-onlys... Maybe we just need to register the reality of what is going on at this very moment, not what might happen, and start from there. I wish you courage and optimism for this sticky patch.