I'm new to this and very scared

[Cheeseandbeans]

Hi all. My name is Gareth and I had my first real issues with panic attacks on Sunday.

I'd just nearly finished a night shift on Sunday morning when I was in a car with my colleague and all of a sudden thought I couldn't move my left arm. When I went to lift it up I got a rush of adrenalin over my body and my heart was pounding. Now this has happened once before, around 2 months ago, at the time I was under the weather with a cold and I thought I was having an anaphylactic shock! Had to get my wife to phone and ambulance and when they came out all they found was my blood sugars were a bit low. After that I thought nothing of it.

On Sunday though by the time I got home they panic attacks were getting worse, to the point I just could not calm myself down, I honestly thought I was dying and I had to get an ambulance again. This time they took my bloods and my blood sugars were a bit low? He advised I see the doctor for a diabetes check. At the time he also did an ECG, he said one of the readings was slightly high so they took me in. All that happened when I was in the hospital though was they did another ECG and took me to the waiting room. Eventually I got taken to a side room were a doctor came to see me and pretty much confirmed it was panic attacks. The problem I had was form 8am to 9pm they were constant! I'd got myself so worked up I was convinced I had a problem with my heart and the more I thought about it the more the attacks came on, therefore keeping me in this endless loop. I'd not slept properly up to this point for nearly 24 hours and I was exhausted. I thought if I could get to sleep it would all be over in the morning.

When I woke up Monday morning what did I do? Checked for any little pain in my chest and that started me straight off again, these terrible rushes of adrenaline and the fear of having a heart attack and dying. I just felt like I needed to be in hospital. I was trying to rationalise things and tell myself they wouldn't have let me leave hospital if I wasn't OK but it wasn't working. I managed to speak to a doctor over the telephone who prescribed me propranolol which seems to have helped me. Tuesday morning started in the same way, checking for physical symptoms etc but I tried distracting myself by reading and went out for a bike ride and it worked. I had a doctors appointment that morning and mainly trying to find out where I go from here. He sent me for a blood test for the diabetes and I have another ECG tomorrow morning. Tuesday afternoon I took a couple of nurofen for my headache and stupidly I started panicking about mixing the tablets and I was panicking badly again. Went to my mum and dads for distraction and within half an hour I was not getting the adrenaline rushes so my wife picked me up, we went home, and I went to bed early.

Today has been a bit better. Went for blood tests this morning, which had the potential to start an attack but I handled it quite well, went for my ECG but they don't do them Wednesdays! I made a point of going back into work today which has definitely helped and I've gone over 24 hours without what I could call a BIG attack (although I've just halted one mid flow after reading some peoples stories on here, I just ran in the kitchen and spoke to my wife to settle myself down again)

I'm just so scared of this whole situation, my doctor says it's my anxiety doing this, I have been diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder in the past few months but nothing that's brought panic attacks with it. The propranolol seems to have helped but I'm not sure I like the way it makes me feel so spaced out and I'm sure it's giving me indigestion.

I know these attacks can't really hurt me but oh my word! The fear and panic that comes over you is terrible when it is happening and I honestly think something serious is going to happen. I'm now at the stage where I'm anxious about having another attack, that is my main worry now because I hate them and find it hard to cope.

I don't like the fact the doctor has literally just told me to keep taking the tablets and nothing more really! I'm there again on Friday so I'm going to ask to be referred to CBT again because I really need to beat this. The past 4 days have been so hard and I just want to be me again.

[Moley]

Sorry that your having such a bad time of it at the mo but do keep on fighting it. Remind yourself that they are not serious and cant hurt you. some medications take time to have an effect so be patient with it. Hope things improve for you soon.

[Deanosbeano]

Hi Gareth ,
I was in the exact same spot myself 5 weeks or so ago,
its absolutely terrifying when it happens and you dont understand it ,i feel for you as i was there , them Mind tells you your dying but your not .
I decided to face my fears and deal with the reality and its not easy but as soon as you accept that the Adrenaline wave is your Brain telling you that you have something in your work / social life that isnt right and has slowly been making you depressed /Anxious you take your first step to recovery
I would never have believed i was Depressed or would suffer anxiety leading to Panic attacks , but i was and i was making it worse by dreaming up Brain tumours ,Blood Cancer and all kinds of ugly scenarios .

Now i am 5 weeks post Diagnosis by my GP and facing my fears and accepting that i was unhappy at work , the wvaes are very infrequent and very very slight , but i have the tools now to face it and realised that after 3 years of saying "work is CR#p" and doing nothing about it was the reason i slowly became the way i was , going to work achieving nothing , coming home thinking it was great because i could rest and do nothing was making it all worse.

It worked so well for me by Dealing with it and not denying that there was things in my life that needed dealing with i feel that if it ever reveals its ugly head again i will be prepared to make those changes sooner and not let it get a grip to such a bad scale.

In essence , Its Very hard work and only YOU can fix it , No Dr ,NO Pills are the cure , they are mereley a helping hand and in some cases not even needed .

Hope you sort it as i did , My Brother passed away this week and i know for sure if he had passed away 5 weeks ago , i would have probably followed him within days due to the severity my anxiety and Panic attacks where dibilitating back then.

Good Luck and make sure you visit these forums and read on the symptoms page , it helped me so much i decided not to take the Calistopram etc .