Terrified of breast cancer diagnosis

[hadenough]

I havent posted on this forum for over a year as it was getting embarassing continually talking about my health worries but I am at my wits end and its my own fault.

I am 61 and have never had a mammogram, ignored all the letters (I dont need telling how stupid that is, I already know). I was just so terrified of being told that I had bc and I know that the one thing I could never deal with is a terminal diagnosis.

The situation is even more stupid than that Im afraid. For a few years now I have had various breast issues which I have just ignored. Ive had pain, feelings of fullness, feeling like theres something there when I brush up against something, tenderness in the breasts and armpits.

Things came to a head when I recently received a letter to go for a mammogram and my daughter saw it. She said Ive been really silly for not facing up to it so Ive bitten the bullet and made the appointment, its not until the end of October.

The thing is, with all the symptoms Ive had, I just know its going to be a bad outcome and because of my stupidity it will be too late to do anything about it. To say Im petrified would be putting it mildly, Im thinking about it all day and dreaming about it at night. Its taken over my whole life and Im going slowly mad.

Like I said, I know its all my own fault and I wish I hadnt been so stupid but its too late to go back now and I have to face the consequences. Ive even started thinking that this will be my last Christmas and, if I make it til March, that will be my last birthday.

I know nobody can help me but I guess it just helps a little to write it all out.

Thanks for reading.

[rebeccad]

Hey take a deep breath and calm down (easier said than done) firstly if you've had symptoms for years it's unlikely to be breast cancer you'd be very poorly by now , if it's symptoms in both breasts that come and go cancer doesn't come and go and unlikely to be in both breasts would start in one and then the other many months later , I'm no expert but if I was you id visit the doctor get him to do a breast exam to calm your nerves , this will be the best Xmas because you'll have had the all clear. Als hormones can cause all of those symptoms . Take care xx

[hadenough]

Thank you for replying. Ive had the symptoms for so long now that Im thinking it could have started in one breast and spread to the other. I will think about what you suggested about seeing the gp.

[Primula]

I wouldn't worry about never having had a mammogram. That is a matter of personal choice. There are those who are for and against it. It's like all health checks, they are out of date the day after you have had them. Go to you your doc for a quick check up, they should be able to reassure you.

[nomorepanic]

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your post was moved from its original place to a sub-forum that is more relevant to your problem.

This is nothing personal - it just enables us to keep posts about the same problems in the relevant forums so other members with any experience with the issues can find them more easily.

[chickpea]

My friend's mother found a lump in her breast and didn't see a doctor for 2 years. By the time she did, it was so large, it had broken through her skin and was weeping.
I'm telling you this because if you had had breast cancer for all the time you've been experiencing sore breasts, I'm sure you'd be experiencing something very similar.
Your symptoms sound hormonal, so please try not to worry about your mammogram - better to have your mind put at rest.xxx

[hadenough]

Thank you primula and chickpea, I appreciate your replies.

[lily1]

The swollen sore breast symptoms sound like hormonal to me, like what you get before a period etc. I get the same symptoms, tenderness, feelings of something inside that are tender when you hug someone etc and I have had checks and told it was cysts and fibrocystic changes which are not a worry.

Sounds normal to me, but if your worried just see your GP.x

[MM]

Hi there. I would just like to reassure you that mammograms aren't as bad as people say they are! I promise! I had one last month for the first time. Yes it was uncomfortable, but that discomfort only lasted for about 5 seconds!

I suggest you get a mammogram! I don't think you have breast cancer at all, by the way, I just think its a good idea so if you need to go in the future (maybe you'll find benign cysts etc that requires a mammogram) you won't be as nervous because you've already gone!

Don't worry. It's okay that you haven't gone yet. It's fine! But do see your GP anyway just for a normal checkup. In general though, if you do notice significant changes in your breasts, try to go to the GP.