Hi all.
This my first post on here after lurking around the forums for over 12 months.
My HA started out of no where, I was a bit stressed at work but nothing concerning my health.
i had a sinus infection that would not clear up and was referred to ENT. At the appointment, I was told I had a slight hearing loss in my left ear and that could suggest I had an acoustic neuroma. I panicked and paid privately for a MRI scan of my brain and inner ears which came back normal.
Since then, i think my HA kicked in. I had my testicles checked for lumps which my GP said were epidermal cysts, I developed a 3 inch white ulcer in my mouth which my dentist thought looked suspicious and sent me to A&E. I was told to wait 2 weeks to see if it would go and it did. I continued to suffer and was back and forth to my GP and out of ours doctors with various symptoms including lumps i could feel in my ear cartilage - which were normal anatomy, a problem with my throat which was normal anatomy and various other symptoms. About 3 weeks ago, I had a suspicious mole removed privately which came back normal. My dentist diagnosed I had torus mandibularis in my mouth and said they were quite common and nothing to worry about. I then done the dreaded Google search and found that if they grow rapidly, they can be cancerous. For someone suffering with HA you can imagine the obsessive checking I was doing. I spent most days going to my dentist who kept on reassuring me they were fine. A week ago I had, had enough and my family were concerned about my mental health so took me to the local hospital. The mental health team were busy and couldn't assess me until the following day. I was still concerned about my Torus in my mouth and a specialist checked them and said its fine and nothing to worry about. I felt relieved for a few hours but then started thinking she said its not mouth cancer but it could be bone cancer. Since then i have been to my GP and out of hours convinced the bones in my hands were growing and i would check them for symmetry. Each bone has been diagnosed as just normal anatomy. I thought the Torus had changed and become moveable - i could feel it move with my tongue. I went back to my dentist and he said it hasn't and is fixed to the bone and nothing to worry about - but I can feel it move which he just said "i'm serious it is nothing to worry about" and wished me good luck with getting my HA under control. This past weekend, i noticed my fingernails had vertical ridges in them and Googled again and that it could be some sort of vitamin deficiency or more commonly contributed to stress.
I have had enough of this HA - its ruining my life and at times I find it upsetting to look t my children, thinking i wont be here for them and feel guilty.
Its effecting my work - i cant concentrate because im constantly focusing on my health and my latest symptom/worry.
I have had an assessment by the local MH team and been referred for CBT but there is a 10 months waiting list.
I'm currently taking Amytrytyline and mertazapine - which don't seem to be doing much. At first they would help me sleep but now I'm lucky to catch a few hours before I wake up in a state of fear/panic regarding my health.
Getting to the point, has anybody got any ideas, help that could get me through this, im feeling rather low at the moment as i'm trying to reduce Diazapam from 7.5mg per day to 5mg and think it is sending my HA through the foof
Thanks in advance and another thanks to the people who contribute to making this forum a life saver at times
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) but it hasn't always been like that. I have had the. 0.05 % of my chosen illnesses! I have searched until even google had enough of me, I have mentally exhausted numerous health professionals I have even phoned a private breast consultant at 6am at home on a Sunday!!
