Hi,
This year I lost three people, two of them were from my family and the other one was almost like a family (very close). Last one died only 3 weeks ago, I was shocked, it was hard because it was the third time this year but I just powered through. Fast forward 4 days after the funeral. I was sitting in a cafe with my friend between lectures and suddenly out of blue my head started spinning, I felt like I will faint any moment now and die. I thought that I was going to have a heart attack, I was so scared. I couldnt even get home, I had to call a friend to drive me back home. I was shaking badly.
Told everything to my parents and they said that it was from the recent events. Then next day I stayed home and went to psychiatrist and he told me the same thing. When going back home (I was going there with my mom because I didnt want to be alone on my way there) Then when we were going back there was that fainting feeling again, thought that I will faint there on the street and die, I pulled my mom inside the cafe and we sat down. Then we went home.
Next day panic attack struck again when I was home, my mom was out and was getting me something to eat. But I survived that one too. Then we decided that it was time to seek medical help. I am lucky enough that my godfather is a doctor, so we called him and he came over two hours later.
We spoke about what has happened and he said that everything is fine with me, its just the recent life events that had completely teared my apart. That my nervous system had suffered enough from all the stress and had reached its breaking point and that is what caused the panic attacks. We decided against any kind of pills.
Today is three weeks from my first panic attack. I am feeling better when I know what is wrong with me, but ever since the first panic attack I had this derealization feeling, it feels like nothing is real. My godfather told me that it is completely normal and that one day it will go away as suddenly as it appeared.
Yesterday I had another panick attack while I was on the street but this time I just ignored it. Sat down on a bench, took a sip out of my water bottle and carried on. Guess what, it didnt kill me, it wasnt a heart attack or something else, and I didnt faint. When I got home I was still shaking a little and I called my doctor and he said that it was like echo from the first time. We talked and I was feeling better immediately.
These few weeks I have been cycling and swimming, when I do that I just completely forget about everything and it makes me happy, however I still cant concentrate enough to study then the derealization feeling kicks in.
That is my story so far. I just wanted to share it and I hope that all this really will go away and will not stay with me my whole life.
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