I hate to use that word because perhaps in the future I'll experience worse and I'm sure other people go through much worse than panic disorder, but its the only word I can think of at the moment.
My level of panic has reached such a pitch that I literally can't do anything. I lie on my bed all day, crying mostly (can't believe I have to admit this) and I can't even watch T.V or read and getting up and walking makes the panic so bad, I have to lie back down again. Constantly feel like I'm suffocating, I went to the Dr yesterday and he checked everything and said my body seemed perfectly healthy, but recommended a blood test regardless, which I've got on Friday, dunno how I'm going to get there when I'm panicking 24-7.
At the moment life is just me lying in bed crying or doing nothing, barely able to walk and just taking small doses of quetiapine twice a day, which doesn't relieve the symptoms it just lessens them. (I may start taking more doses)
The only thing I ever have to look forward to is sleep, I'm only ever happy now in my dreams, they're the only escape I have. I struggle to eat properly and have very few meals now. Writing on here was an effort. The only other time I have some relief apart from when I'm asleep is when I wake up. The first few hours of the day I feel almost normal, then the panic slowly creeps on me and controls me for the rest of the day. :(
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