Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Destructive/ unhelpful behaviours

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    2,614

    Destructive/ unhelpful behaviours


    Does anyone carry out things that you know to be destructive or, at the least, not helpful?

    What I am thinking of is, I talk to myself. (not necessarily out loud, sometimes just in my head) That might not sound like a big deal but I look for opportunities to be alone a LOT of the time. I had a babysitter for my youngest last night, hubby was working and instead of making a nice little night for me and my oldest, I was desperate to get her to bed so I could talk out the same stuff over and over again.[V] Usually hypothetical conversations. In the car I take a long way home, put off the radio and talk to myself. I go to bed early so I can talk to myself. Just now, I left daughter watching TV so I could have a bath to talk to myself.
    I know this doesnít help and I know it doesnít get the anxiety sorted out, I just go round and round in circles. Yet if I donít do it, I get all anxious and start to miss me![:I] I know it helps to keep busy, but I almost donít want to for fear of not having my thoughts.

    I liken it to smoking. People know it is not good for them, yet they need a ciggie.

    Anyone relate to this?

    happyone


    "Today is the day before tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day." wisdom of my daughter!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    7,760
    Hi ya hun,

    I realised a few years ago my self-talk was very damaging and negative and I now won't allow myself to do this for very long, if at all.

    Like you I used to have hypothetical conversations in my head - usually when I was cross or hurt by something I would relive it in my head and what I would have said, or should have said at the time. I too needed time and space to do this thinking.

    This is not a very helpful thing to do as your body then keeps feeling the emotions you are feeding into it.

    Now what I do instead is either:

    1. Write it down on a peice of paper (ususually before bedtime) which helps me rationalise it better and to see if I am getting a bit over the top!

    2. Discuss with a mate or family (if appropriate)!

    I am being very firm with myself these days and I can definately see results from doing this. Pips off here suggested ages ago to think of a lollipop ladies STOP sign when your thoughts are not good ones and then change your thoughts to something else.

    This has been very successful for me (although not at all easy at first) and has really reduced my negative daydreaming. Some people use elastic bands to ping when they realise they are doing it.

    It's a bit like 'You are what you eat' but in a 'You are what you think' sorta way.

    I read a great book awhile ago by Shannon Duncan (off Amazon) that was all about practical ways of living in the moment. Children live very much in the moment and unfortunately its a skill we seemed to lose as we grow up and have to take on the responsibilites of life.

    So my advice matey would be to only allow yourself the luxury of cogitating if it about positive stuff!!!

    It does take awhile to adopt new habits if you've done this all your life like I used to but honestly it's really worth exploring an alternative

    Love Piglet xx

    "Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
    "Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    2,614
    Thanks for that.
    I have been trying the writing it down thing which is helping a bit (it's just difficult realising or admitting that something is helping)
    I could try the elastic band thing too.
    The CBT woman did say to me that it would take a while to change lifetime habits, I am just soooooooooo impatient!
    Thanks again Piglet!
    Happyone
    x

    "Today is the day before tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day." wisdom of my daughter!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    401
    Hi Happyone,

    It was a long time before I realised that I had a 'chatterbox' in my head. Now if I staert to talk to it a lot I know that I am going downhill again, so i switch it off. My Psychotherapist told me to have 1/2 hour each day to 'worry' which I think is the same thing, and then to try not to worry at ant other time. Maybe allowing yourself just 1/2 an hour a day will help you. If you promise yourself that time each day maybe you wont feel as bad about doiung it. I'll let you know what the point of worrytime is when I find out.
    TC xxxxxxxxxxxx

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    2,614
    Thanx Bear
    a half hour worry time does sound a not bad idea. I might give it a try.
    I could choose a really inopportune moment just to be awkward! [:P]
    Happyone
    x

    "Today is the day before tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day." wisdom of my daughter!

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Avoidance and Safety Behaviours
    By honeybee3939 in forum Panic / Panic Attacks
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 09-10-06, 19:59

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •